Dark Magician Girl, ALICE
by Emerald Sonata
Summary: Jack O'Donnell was forced to give up Duel Monsters in order to match the mature expectations and all-work-no-play policy set by the reality of society. Now as a high school student, his childhood is nothing but a dead fantasy. That is until the world is invaded by Duel Monsters brought alive... and the one to save him is none other than his favorite card - Dark Magician Girl! DUEL!
1. DEAD DREAMS

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=01=**  
 _ **'Dead Dreams'**_

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a foolish boy who thought he was a hero.

"Hey guys! I'm new in town, so I hope we can get along! Do you guys love Duel Monsters!? My favorite card is Black Magician Girl! Hey, why don't we duel! Come on!"

The hero, was then instantly defeated by the blades of reality.

"Haaah? Duel Monsters? That's a baby's game."

"Ha-ha-ha. Don't tell me you're some geek who's obsessed about Pocket Monsters, Digi-Monsters, and collecting cheesy cards or something."

"We're in middle school. Kid's cr*p like that aren't our style. So, wanna try Ouji boards instead? Or maybe we'll have the mature class president cast your fortune."

"People who play that sh*t will grow up to become useless shut-ins who can't accept reality."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha…"

And so the swords, the arrows, and cannonfire of the cruel world bombarded this hero – until his very soul was torn asunder.

"…. But…. I love Duel Monsters…. "

Since then, the hero was buried alive. Only his walking corpses remained in the world called reality.

"… I… I love Black Magician Girl the most!"


	2. SECOND LIFE-2

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
Dark Magician Girl, Alice

 **=02=**  
 _ **'Second Life.2'**_

* * *

The protagonist of this simple story was a simple highschool boy who preferred to live a simple life.

"DARN IT ALL! I FAILED THE PHYSICS EXAM AGAIN!"

His name was Jack O'Donnell*.

Age 18, High School Student, Occuptation: Pizza Delivery Boy, Paper Boy, Office Boy, Bell Boy, Catering Boy, and 10 other Part-time jobs to raise himself and his family. Has one sibling: a self-proclaimed Drama Queen little sister, a doting housewive-class mother, and a father who works overseas.

"Sh*t! Wh-what did my bratty little sister buy from another questionable online store? Th-this time, a stone mask!? Wh-what is this, Jojo's Bizarre Adven—"

Jack O'Donnell was once an innocent child like any other human being. He once dreamed of living in a flying castle made of iron. He once dreamed to ride across the plains on the back of a charging unicorn. He once dreamed of saving every princess in every kingdom to make his own harem.

"….. Dreams don't pay the bill… Tch. This is a pain."

It's true. Fantasy can never erase the cruelty of reality.

His love for Duel Monsters could never out class the expectation of the denizens of that harsh world he lives in.

"… I miss her."

So whenever Jack O'Donnell came across a hobby shop that sold the latest booster packs and structure decks created for the new generation of Duel Monsters, he would always pause in front of that store for exactly 10 minutes.

In those 10 minutes, he could feel the faint whispers of his fantasy brewing in his heart. In those 10 minutes, he felt at peace from the rushing world. In those 10 minutes… he would think of her.

After those 10 minutes-

"Tch. Honestly, this is a children's game now. Besides, the newest edition of cards and gameplay for Duel Monster is so bizarre and outlandish, not even this mature high school student can understand it's theory….. Sigh."

…. Ahem. After those 10 minutes.

"… Hmm?... OH SH*T, I'M LATE FOR CRAM SCHOOL! THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME IN THE ROW, NOW I'M DEFINITELY DEDUCTED MARKS FROM MY NEXT EXAM! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jack O'Donnell was thrown back in this husk and trudges in the swamp of cold reality.

… He did not know the past he once casted aside… is coming to haunt the world.

"… Hm? Strange, I don't recall an eclipse to day….. OH SH*T!"

And our hero of a regular reality – comes across the first monster of the day.

"R-Red Eyes Black Dragon!? UWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"


	3. ALICE

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=03=**  
 _ **'A.L.I.C.E.'**_

* * *

The world has suddenly been invaded by Duel Monsters!

Without rhyme, reason, or excuse, they have begun to appear all over the world in every corner of the nation. This was not a holographic glitch in the system owned and ran by Kaiba Corporation.

Rather, these Duel Monsters that children play by card battle every day – has suddenly awoken and breath new life.

Their bodies were real, they were physical, and they were swarming all over the ground, the skies, and even the pools of the city.

Dead in the center, Jack O'Donnell was caught within the invasion.

"I-IMPOSSIBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!"

The boy ran down the street as he was changed by a flying eclipse. Rather, it was a creature that was darker than black, its eyes redder than red hot chili peppermint, and carrying talons that could shred heavy metal as clean as knife to a butter.

That creature was a dragon well known in the world of Duel Monsters. It's name was—

"W-wait! R-Red Eyes Black Dragon! Wh-what are you hunting me down for!? D-don't you remember, you're one of my top five monsters in my old deeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeck!?"

With a scream, Jack O'Donnell throws his body into a puddle. The Red Eyes Black Dragon screams over his body, to tear an entire public double-decker bus asunder. Nothing but scraps of metal was left.

"….. Ah."

The protagonist of this story was sweating like crazy.

"Th-this is impossible… D-don't tell me this is some sick plot where all these monsters everyone once forgotten is taking over the world –and I'm the chosen one to collect them!"

"Master! Watch out!"

"…. Heh?"

Before Jack O'Donnell realized it, a new monster came into play across the city used as a field. Long golden legs of a fly crashed down to pierce through the skulls of stores and apartment walls. A giant abdomen heaved down to crush the ashphalt under its weight. A pair of fly like wings buzzed in the air, moving faster than supersonic and capable of piercing the eardrums of poor canines within a 20 meter radius.

"… I…Insect Queen?"

The giant queen bug of the Duel Monster's realm fell from the heavens, right on top of Jack O'Donnell. No mercy.

Until something soft, tender, and sweet-smelling figure – fired a ball of black magic into Jack O'Donnell's gut.

"GUBWOOOOOOOH!"

"S-Sorry, Master! My flying speed isn't fast enough to sweep you out of the way in time! Forgive me for shooting at you!"

"DOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!?"

Jack O'Donnell ended up slamming into a brick wall, that ball of black magic grinding into his stomach like a blitz-speed baseball in a sports anime. It finally stopped grinding into his stomach, dissolving into nothing, and he dropped to land on his face first before everything else.

"…. Who?"

"Don't worry, Master, I'll protect you! I promise!"

"… Dark… Magician… Girl?"


	4. OPEN PAST

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=04=**  
 _ **'Open the Past'**_

* * *

Dark Magician Girl.

A Dark-type Spellcaster Monster Card with an ATK of 2000 and a DEF of 1700. Special Effects, acquires an additional 300 ATK points if there is a Dark Magician Card in the graveyard.

Jack O'Donnell never had a Dark Magician. No matter how many booster packs he bought as a child, he could never get one. Somehow, the Dark Magic Structure Deck he happened to bought was faulty and even missed slipping in the Dark Magician.

But he never abandoned Dark Magician Girl, even if her Special Effects were useless in his deck of mish-mashed monsters.

It was his favorite card…. The same card he was forced to let go in his journey as a mature child in middle-school.

… Yet…

"….. Dark Magician Girl?... Is that really you…. HOLY SH*T YOU CAN TALK!?"

"M-MASTER! P-PLEASE DON'T SWEAR! Y-you'll become a bad influence to me!"

Floating right in front of him was an adorable young girl in a magical set of armor and a spiraling wizard's hat. A wand, silk skirt, and lovely blush stickers on her round cheeks.

It truly was… the Dark-type Spellcaster Monster Card Dark Magician Girl, in the flesh.

"Ugyaaaaaah! M-Master! I-I know you're glad to see me, but you don't have to touch my body like that! I-it's embarrassing and I tickle all over! Kyaaaa!"

"O-Oi! Oi! Don't go 'Kyaa' with such a sexy voice like that out of the blue. All I did was poke your arm to see if you're hologram or a messed up robot android playing a prank on me!"

"Master! Think clearly! Who would be dumb enough to pay millions of dollar to make an android for a 10 second prank!?"

"You must be fake! Dark Magician Girl would never talk back to me like that!"

"I do talk back to you! You just could never hear me while I was a card!"

… Ahem. The Insect Queen attacks with a blast of acid-flaring pollen. Everything within 10 meter radius begins to dissolve and melt like ice cream.

"… UGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MASTER! MASTER! SAVE MY HAIR! SAVE MY HAIR!"

"SAVE **ME** FIRST, YOU CLUMSY GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL!"


	5. JO-JO

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=05=**  
 _ **'JO-JO'**_

* * *

In a deadly situation where the hero is pitted against a Level 7 Insect Monster with 2200 ATK and 2400 DEF, there is only one thing he and his trusted Duel Monster could do.

It is only meant to be used as a last option, and it relied on the faithful power of human legs.

"….. Sigh… RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

"W-wait! Master! Stop! Sh-shouldn't you be saying your old catch phrase of 'You're next line' and turn the tables on the enemy…. GUGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The protagonist his maiden Spellcaster ended up disengaging from the battle.

"Oi! Dark Magician Girl! You and I both know that its base Attack Power is greater than yours! It'll wipe the floor with you the second you try and attack."

"I-I'm hurt! Master, how can you have zero faith in me! Even if you had no Dark Magician in your deck, you still promise to keep me in your deck as your number one card! We've been through situations more terrible than this, we can definitely—"

A concentrated cloud of acid-flaring pollen shot past Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician Girl. It slapped into the side of an ice-cram car, melting its entire outer shell to reveal the mechanical skeleton, before that skeleton dissolved into a pile of iron sand.

"…. Master. I'm a Maiden, so please protect me with your body."

"WHY YOU LITTLE!?"

The second Jack wanted to yank at Dark Magician Girl's beloved blonde hair – a series of bombs in the form of insect eggs came raining fown.

"UWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

"UGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Both human and monster ran even faster, ducking into an alleyway to let the explosions rip open the streets behind him.

"… Master. We need to do something."

"… You say that so matter of fact, when I'm still trying to keep up with the fact that a card like you is a flesh and blood girl."

"…. Master, I-I know I'm your number one card, but… please don't look at me with those lecherous eyes."

"…. Oi."

Jack O'Donnell frowned and ignored the sounds of screaming and explosion.

A strong feeling within his body was moving inside of him. It felt familiar, nostalgic even.

"…. It's been a while since I've used that side of me… and I'm a mature high school student now. I'm pretty much conflicted with my inner self and the me living in this boring reality."

"…"

"Believe it or not, you can't expect someone who let go of something to just up and pick it up again. It's like asking a martial artist who gave up training to raise his family to smash through 10 blocks again. Or trying to have a nurse who has been on a 10 year sabbatical to do something as fine as an IV Injection."

"…"

"Yes. I used to be a genius duelist from the town I grew up in… But moving to a big city means you play by the big boys rules. Duel Monsters wasn't to their liking… Of course you're asking the impossible from me."

"… Master is a big idiot."

"…. Haaaaaaanh?"

Jack O'Donnell turned to that small voice next to him, coming from a certain Spellcaster girl who was sitting on her crossed legs, folded arms, and look away with a snarl.

"You gave up Duel Monsters because people laughed at you."

"….."

"You gave up on the monsters who put their lives on the line in following you and bringing you victory in the championships you used to play in."

"….."

"... You completely forgot about me."

*SMACK!*

"M-MASTER! DON'T!"

"…. Haaaaanh? I didn't hear you. What was that about me forgetting about you? Dark Magician Girl?"

The Spellcaster was crying. Not because she received a nasty wound to her face… rather, that wound appeared after she tripped and fell from avoiding the Insect Queen's egg bombardment.

Rather, she was crying why Jack O'Donnell broke his knuckles in smashing the wall behind her.

"M-Master, I'm sorry! P-Please don't hurt—"

"This pain means nothing to me… Alice."

"…. You… remember my pet name….."

Tears flowed even heavier from Dark Magician Girl's eyes, her trembling hands covering her mouth. Jack O'Donnell glared right into her eyes, without hatred or malice… only anguish.

"… Ever since I had to give up Duel Monsters to fit into this ugly world, to survive… the only thing I could do every day, every night, and every time I go to class… is to think about you."

"A-aaah, *hic* I… Master…"

"Whenever I see your face on a poster or a cut out, I can't help but store and adore you. I give myself only 10 minutes, because 5 is never enough, more than 15 and I'll lose myself in my fantasy. 10… was the perfect number to cherish my moments with you."

"A-ha, guh, *sniff*, M-Master… I…"

Jack O'Donnell gripped onto Dark Magician Girl's shoulder, the blood from his knuckle trailing down his arm.

"… You are and always will be my Dark Magician Girl, my Alice, my pride of the past I once cherished…"

"…. I… I missed you so much, Master."

"… Sorry for the wait."

Unable to hold back the years of pain, guilt, and feelings of separation, they both pulled into each other in a tight hug.

"… This warmth… I really can't believe you're a real person."

"Master… whether I'm a card, or a human girl… please, allow me to stand by your side again like we once did…. Please."

"….. Stand up."

A small smile appeared on Dark Magician Girl's tear-covered face, bright enough to wipe away the pain in anyone's heart, maybe even her own. The boy brought her to her feet, sighed with a grumble how he can't stand girls crying in front of him while clearing the Duel Monster's tears with his sleeve…

… And he turned directly at the end of the alleyway, in time to see Insect Queen crashing through the tight space and obliterating the walls that held it back.

"… It's time to duel… or as how they used to say it."

"Master… can you… be like your old self, even just for a bit."

"I don't want to. The me back then was on borderline of Chuunibyou (Middle Schooler Syndrome) and I felt like some geek who thinks he is the Dark Flame Master or something. I really don't to say something stupid like 'be devours by the power of the dark flame!' or something like that…"

"… Then… could you use your favorite catchphrase…"

"….. Ha-ha-ha…. I guess I can spare you some entertainment….. Here goes…"

With that, Jack O'Donnell snapped his fingers and pointed them directly at his enemy - Level 7 Insect Queen.

"You're next line is 'Kyaaaa! You got me!'…"

"….. Kyaaaaa! Master is so cooooool!"

"… Even if you say that… I still feel like an idiot."

Indeed, because even the Insect Queen wanted to put Jack out of his misery by spiting a clumb of orange acid that ignited flames on whatever it touched directly at the boy.

Yet, the boy who once abandoned his fantasy to survive in a cruel reality did not falter.

"Let's go, Alice!"

"Yes, Master!"

A new war of Duel Monsters (King of Games) had taken the first step.

In a deadly situation where the hero is pitted against a Level 7 Insect Monster with 2200 ATK and 2400 DEF, there is only one thing he and his trusted Duel Monster could do.

It is only meant to be used as a last option, and it relied on the faithful power of human legs.

"….. Sigh… RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

"W-wait! Master! Stop! Sh-shouldn't you be saying your old catch phrase of 'You're next line' and turn the tables on the enemy…. GUGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The protagonist his maiden Spellcaster ended up disengaging from the battle.

"Oi! Dark Magician Girl! You and I both know that its base Attack Power is greater than yours! It'll wipe the floor with you the second you try and attack."

"I-I'm hurt! Master, how can you have zero faith in me! Even if you had no Dark Magician in your deck, you still promise to keep me in your deck as your number one card! We've been through situations more terrible than this, we can definitely—"

A concentrated cloud of acid-flaring pollen shot past Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician Girl. It slapped into the side of an ice-cram car, melting its entire outer shell to reveal the mechanical skeleton, before that skeleton dissolved into a pile of iron sand.

"…. Master. I'm a Maiden, so please protect me with your body."

"WHY YOU LITTLE!?"

The second Jack wanted to yank at Dark Magician Girl's beloved blonde hair – a series of bombs in the form of insect eggs came raining fown.

"UWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

"UGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Both human and monster ran even faster, ducking into an alleyway to let the explosions rip open the streets behind him.

"… Master. We need to do something."

"… You say that so matter of fact, when I'm still trying to keep up with the fact that a card like you is a flesh and blood girl."

"…. Master, I-I know I'm your number one card, but… please don't look at me with those lecherous eyes."

"…. Oi."

Jack O'Donnell frowned and ignored the sounds of screaming and explosion.

A strong feeling within his body was moving inside of him. It felt familiar, nostalgic even.

"…. It's been a while since I've used that side of me… and I'm a mature high school student now. I'm pretty much conflicted with my inner self and the me living in this boring reality."

"…"

"Believe it or not, you can't expect someone who let go of something to just up and pick it up again. It's like asking a martial artist who gave up training to raise his family to smash through 10 blocks again. Or trying to have a nurse who has been on a 10 year sabbatical to do something as fine as an IV Injection."

"…"

"Yes. I used to be a genius duelist from the town I grew up in… But moving to a big city means you play by the big boys rules. Duel Monsters wasn't to their liking… Of course you're asking the impossible from me."

"… Master is a big idiot."

"…. Haaaaaaanh?"

Jack O'Donnell turned to that small voice next to him, coming from a certain Spellcaster girl who was sitting on her crossed legs, folded arms, and look away with a snarl.

"You gave up Duel Monsters because people laughed at you."

"….."

"You gave up on the monsters who put their lives on the line in following you and bringing you victory in the championships you used to play in."

"….."

"... You completely forgot about me."

 _ ***SMACK!***_

"NO! M-MASTER! DON'T!"

"…. Haaaaanh? I didn't hear you. What was that about me forgetting about you? Dark Magician Girl?"

The Spellcaster was crying. Not because she received a nasty wound to her face… rather, that wound appeared after she tripped and fell from avoiding the Insect Queen's egg bombardment.

Rather, she was crying why Jack O'Donnell broke his knuckles in smashing the wall behind her.

"M-Master, I'm sorry! I-I went out of line just so I can snap you back to your old self! S-so p-Please don't hurt—"

"This pain means nothing to me… Alice."

"… You… remember my pet name….."

Tears flowed even heavier from Dark Magician Girl's eyes, her trembling hands covering her mouth. Jack O'Donnell glared right into her eyes, without hatred or malice… only anguish.

"… Ever since I had to give up Duel Monsters to fit into this ugly world, to survive… the only thing I could do every day, every night, and every time I go to class… is to think about you."

"A-aaah, *hic* I… Master…"

"Whenever I see your face on a poster or a cut out, I can't help but stare and adore you. I give myself only 10 minutes, because 5 is never enough, more than 15 and I'll lose myself in my fantasy. 10… was the perfect number to cherish my moments with you."

"A-ha, guh, *sniff*, M-Master… I…"

Jack O'Donnell gripped onto Dark Magician Girl's shoulder, the blood from his knuckle trailing down his arm.

"… You are and always will be my Dark Magician Girl, my Alice, my pride of the past I once cherished…"

"…. I… I missed you so much, Master. All these years... I wanted to hear your voice again..."

"… Sorry for the wait."

Unable to hold back the years of pain, guilt, and feelings of separation, they both pulled into each other in a tight hug.

"… This warmth… I really can't believe you're a real person."

"Master… whether I'm a card, or a human girl… please, allow me to stand by your side again like we once did…. Please."

"….. Stand up."

A small smile appeared on Dark Magician Girl's tear-covered face, bright enough to wipe away the pain in anyone's heart, maybe even her own. The boy brought her to her feet, sighed with a grumble how he can't stand girls crying in front of him while clearing the Duel Monster's tears with his sleeve…

… And he turned directly at the end of the alleyway, in time to see Insect Queen crashing through the tight space and obliterating the walls that held it back.

"… It's time to duel… or as how they used to say it."

"Master… can you… be like your old self, even just for a bit."

"I don't want to. The me back then was on borderline of Chuunibyou (Middle Schooler Syndrome) and I felt like some geek who thinks he is the Dark Flame Master or something. I really don't to say something stupid like 'be devours by the power of the dark flame!' or something like that…"

"… Then… could you use your favorite catchphrase…"

"….. Ha-ha-ha…. I guess I can spare you some entertainment….. Here goes…"

With that, Jack O'Donnell snapped his fingers and pointed them directly at his enemy - Level 7 Insect Queen.

"You're next line is 'Kyaaaa! You got me!'…"

"….. Kyaaaaa! Master is so cooooool!"

"… Even if you say that… I still feel like an idiot."

Indeed, because even the Insect Queen wanted to put Jack out of his misery by spiting a clump of orange acid that ignited flames on whatever it touched directly at the boy. Napalm (?).

Yet, the boy who once abandoned his fantasy to survive in a cruel reality did not falter.

"Let's go, Alice!"

"Yes, Master!"

A new war of Duel Monsters (King of Games) had taken the first step.


	6. CLOSED TACTICS

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=06=**  
 _ **'Closed Tactics'**_

* * *

"It's official, we're screwed."

"Masteeeeeer, don't jinx us."

Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician Girl were in the middle of a one on one duel with the Level 7 Insect Queen, hiding in a half-built construction site with full concrete walls. The Spellcaster's stats was 2000 ATK and 1700 DEF, while the Insect's stats was 2200 ATK and 2400 DEF. Even people who didn't play Duel Monsters could tell Dark Magician Girl was hooped.

"Stop cursing me!"

"I'm not! I'm stating the odds in this fight!"

"Never tell a lady the odds!"

A giant golden bug arm smashed through a wall they hiding behind, scaring the sh*t out of them. Neither of them dared to scream, as the leg seemed to 'look' left and right before retracting back through the hole. Once they felt the coast as clear, they dropped to their knees and hugged each other.

"Sweet Maid Marian that monster is frightening."

"C-calm down, Alice! I-I used to be a genius right. I know we can turn the tables on—"

Another golden insect leg smashed through the wall. This time it was right above their heads. If they had been standing, either of them would have lost their head. Since no one wanted Dark Magician Girl to get hurt in this picture, Jack O'Donnell was willing to take the brunt of the attack should it call for it.

"…. Oi."

"Master… what now. We're trapped like sardines… I've never tried it, bu I know I'm not going to like it's taste."

"Sssssh! I-if Duel Monsters are real, then this monster is based on acting like a real bug. It can detect sound or motions with its attennae, so just keep hiding behind solid concrete for now! I-I think it was just blind firing through the walls to get us."

Two more golden legs pierced through the wall, one far off by 3 meters and one right next to Jack's ear.

"… Okay think. In the end, this is Duel Monsters. Even if it's been a while since I've last played, I still remember the rules and some basic tactics. This monster has a higher attack power than you, so if you attack now, you'll turn to dust."

"I don't want that, not when I finally have a body to be proud of. Look!"

"Th-this isn't the time to flaunt your curves and assets, darn it all!"

Jack O'Donnell grabbed Dark Magician Gil by the hand and they bolted off into the opposite direction. They ran away in time for the Insect Queen to just charge through the wall with a screech. It still couldn't find them, as they were not hiding un a concrete tube.

Hiding in the shadows, holding their breaths, they watched as the creature moved pass them and beginning to wreck the construction site, and ruining the construction worker's efforts.

"… You need a power up. It's the only way in a front assault."

"Great thinking, Master! I knew I can count on you, even if you got lazy and stopped playing Duel Monsters! Do you still have your Spell and Trap Cards!? We can use Graceful Dice to increase my attack, or Demon Dice to lower the enemy's attack! O-or, we can even use our favorite Equipment Magic – Book of Secret Arts! It'll add 300 ATK to my powers, making it 2300! I'll beat that walking lice-sucker in no time! So, let's use it!"

"We can't."

"Why? Don't you always keep your cards with you?"

"They're at home, buried under a sh*tload of moving packages."

"….. You're right, Master, we're screwed."

"D-Don't look away with that gloomy face, darn it all!"


	7. HORN HOPE

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=07=**  
 _ **'Horn = Hope'**_

* * *

Jack O'Donnell was in a big pinch.

"… Don't state my issue so casually."

"M-Master, who are you talking to at a time like this."

Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician Girl were still trapped in the middle of the construction site. They still tried to fight back against thr Insect Queen that was still chasing after them, however nothing was working.

Jack struck out by firing a machine-nail gun into the Insect Queen. It only served to p*ss it off.

Dark Magician Girl fired her black magic into a scaffolding to knock it over into the Insect Queen. It successfully broke the nail of its leg – and still served to p*ss it off some more.

"Wh-what do we do! I don't want to go to the Cemetary Field! N-not when I'm finally a real life girl! I don't want to lose this lovely body."

"Oi! What the h*ll are you muttering about at a time like this? D—don't let your panic mess with your brain!"

When the Insect Queen rudely interrupted them by splattering a shower of acid-flaring pollen at their hiding spot, incinerating the giant cement truck, the two were caught in a dead checkmate.

It was over.

"… Hey, Dark Magician Girl, you see that?"

"Y-yes! Yes I do Master! Th-that's the light of our hope!"

Jack and Dark Magician Girl were caught in a narrow dead-end with a large concrete wall cutting their exit off, and the Insect Queen crawling in to close the gap for 'feast-on-flesh' distance.

Somewhere far, but close by, a twinkle caught their eye… and it came from a golden horn that happened to be sticking out of a wheelbarrow full of rubble.

"I-it couldn't be… Is it really that card!"

"Yes, yes, yes!"

Horn of the Unicorn! A Magic Equipment-type Card. It's special effects once applied can increase the ATK of one monster by 700.

"If we can use that Card to power you up, Alice."

"Then I can be a magical Diva with my own magical unicorn!"

Jack O'Donnell tugged at Dark Magician Girl's hair to pull her head out of the fog of being a celebrity.

"It means even a Level 6 Monster like you can trash this Level 7 f**ker."

"… Right… Ahem. Ahem."

The road to their victory had opened before them. Now they had to take the first step in achieving it.

"… Master, I highly doubt the Insect Queen is going to kindly step aside for you to grab a weapon to kill it."

"…"

"…M-Master?"

"HEY COCKROACH! I SMOKED YOUR UNCLE, YOU KNOW THAT!?"

"….. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MASTEEEEEEEER!?"

The Dark Magician Girl screamed her head off. With good reason, even this narrator is screaming inside.

All Jack O'Donnell did to counter this situation was taking one step forward, took in a deep breath, and trolled the Level 7 Insect Monster in a booming voice.

"JUST THE OTHER DAY, I HELPED MY MOTHER SWAT YOUR AUNTY! I EVEN BAG AND TAGGED A COUPLE OF YOUR COUSINS!"

"… SWEET MAID MARIAN, THE FEAR MADE MASTER GO INSAAAANE!?"

Indeed, only a complete idiot would bad mouth a giant man-eating insect that was hell-bent on leaving nothing but bones and cartilage of this one boy in front of it.

Of course it would lash out – and sink its fangs through the high school boy's body.

… It was so fast, Dark Magician Girl could do nothing but watch as red splattered her body and face. It took 10 full seconds, before she even thought about screaming.

"…. NOW! ALICE!"

"… H-heh?"

The tears hadn't had a chance to fall out of Dark Magician Girl's eyes, and she always snapped out of her shell-shocked comatose from that one simple scream.

Then, she clearly saw the truth of the horrific sight in front of her.

"Darn it aaaaaall, you freaking walking bird feeeeeeeeeeeeeed!"

Jack O'Donnell was bitten, but not devoured. In the last minute, he pulled up a pipe he had picked up and sharpened during his time in running from cover to cover. He had scraped it along the wall, to grind one end to form a short arrow-head.

Right before the Insect Queen could consume his body in one bite, he shoved the sharp pipe up it's mouth and through the ceiling of its palate. Blood gushed out from the creature, all over the ground, Jack's uniform, and splattered some more all over Dark Magician Girl.

It really did look like a fresh scene from a new sequel to a Chainsaw Horror film.

"GET – THAT – HORN – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

"… YES MASTER!"

Dark Magician Girl fully recovered and launched herself through the air. She flew at maximum speed and weaved through the legs of the Insect Queen, ignoring the screams of the creature, Jack's raging how as he kept stabbing the beast, and the wild humming of the wings.

The Insect Queen picked up on their movement, realizing their attmepts. Still stabbed through the mouth, it moved one of its legs to grab at Dark Magician Girl.

Or, at least to pierce he through and through.

"Oi, oi, oi. Where do you think you're looking at, buddy?"

Jack snarled, and stomped his one foot.

It hit a toggle switch on the floor, connected to several high-powered light stands.

 _*BLINK!*_

"GURYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The Insect Queen let out a horrific scream, receiving the full blast of the high-out put light stands and illumination system that sparked all over the construction sight. It just so happen to target their spotlights directly at the creature's head.

"M-Master! D-don't tell me you thought this through from the beginning!?"

"Who the h*ll do you think I am!? I am Jack O'Donnell, the Lord of Green Flame in the world of Duel Monsters! This stinking bug is 1000 years too early to take me on! Buggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!"

"… Welcome back… Master."

And Dark Magician Girl reached out to touch the Horn of the Uni—

 ***BLOOD***


	8. PERFECT ATTACK

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=08=**  
 _ **'Perfect Attack'**_

* * *

"… I'm sorry… Master…"

"… Why? It was the perfect plan… the perfect counter attack… So why… ALIIIIIIIICE!"

Dark Magician Girl was dying. No one knew why.

The first second, everything was fine. She was able to avoid getting hit by the Inset Queen while Jack O'Donnell blinded it with the light stands from the construction sight.

Yet the next second, she was found lying in a pool of blood – a long pipe shoved through her back.

8 inches. That was how much space was left between Dark Magician Girl's finger tips… to the Horn of the Unicorn that was sticking out of the wheelbarrow. Close, yet so far, and impossible to move any further.

Dark Magician Girl was pinned into the ground, like a butterfly to a collector's board.

…Even still, she attempts to reach out. To the Horn of the Unicorn. To the only glimmer of hope right in front of her.

She knew she would not last long, but that was not what she was thinking.

"I… have to save….. Master…"

 _"… Boy. Just because I'm just a bug, does that mean you can easily get the upper hand without sacrifice?"_

Jack O'Donnell fell silent… for that new voice was too quiet for any regular human hearing. If he spoke out of turn, he would miss what has been said.

In order to analyze this new opponent, he needed every shred of detail.

"…. Show yourself."

 _"What? Stabbing me through the dentures isn't enough for you, boy?"_

"… Sh*t."

Jack O'Donnell turned into a rag-doll. He was pulled up from his feet and shaken around like worse than a tangled rider on a wild horse. With one good flick, it sent the boy tumbling in the air.

It was his enemy, Insect Queen.

 _"To think a normal human like yourself could outsmart this queen of bugs. I hate to admit it, but you definitely got some wit there, boy."_

"…. Tch. So it's using the vibrations of its wings to mimic a human voice?"

 _"Oh. Smart child. It will be unfortunate that you will never grow up to become a Masters in Thermonuclear Physics or such."_

"To be frank, I can't even survive a Math 12 Exam let alone have such a wonderful dream."

Jack clicked his tongue and opened his body in the air. He used his full body surface to glide his way to Earth. Impossible? Absolutely, but it helps to let him grab onto an over hanging metal wire that was poking out of a broken concrete wall.

Dangling from the third story.

 _"You look like you have some difficulties. Would you like me to eat you and then pass you our from my other end. Think of it as a happy fun slide you humans are so obsessed about."_

"… That… would be the sh*ttiest man-made slide known to man… of all times."

This was a super big pinch.

Jack was held up hanging from a third story building. Dark Magician Girl was pinned badly in the ground.

And the talking Insect Queen was not raising her entire body to meet with the hero of the story.

All roads were blocked. All paths has been closed down.

There was no way out of this.

"… Hey, bug."

 _"Insect Queen, human garbage."_

"… What did you do to Alice?"

 _"… Hmm? Oh? You mean that pathetic Spellcaster who is crawling to save her own life… Oh nothing, I swore I never touched her. Not at all."_

"…."

 _"Eeeeeeh. Well, I may have, kind of, knocking something over with my wings… oh, silly me. Please, good sir, don't be angry at me – KYAAAA-HAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAAAAAAA!"_

"Hmm. Thanks."

 _"… What?"_

Jack O'Donnell turned to the Insect Queen…. And the Level 7 Monster flinched. Because she was staring into the eyes of a Demon who declared war on the world.

"You gave me a good reason to beat the sh*t out of you in the next turn."

 _"YOU LITTLE BRAAAAAAAT!"_

In this moment, the Insect Queen lunges to finish off the hero in one gulp.

"Cheers."

 _"UWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!?"_

The monster screamed and slammed its mouth shut, steam radiating from its lips.

 _"Wh-what did you throw down my throat?"_

"Hot coffee? Want another helping?"

The moment the Insect Queen opened her mouth to swallow Jack O'Donnell, her fate had been sealed. He picked up a large lunch box from a neary scaffolding, clicking it open and found a large hot thermos. Squeezing open the lid, he dropped it down the hatch of the Insect Queen's mouth.

 _"YOU CHEATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"_

"That was for scarring Alice… and this… is interest."

Jack O'Donnell did two things. He let go of his hand, dropping his body down onto the Monster. Then, he uncorked another hot thermos and tossed it at the monster's face to explode freshhot water all over it.

 _"UGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"_

The boy tucked in his body and rolled down the Insect Queen's spine, tumbling all the way until he flipped off of her large abdomen. He skidded into a swift halt in a crouch, and swept up Dark Magician Girl while pulling out the pipe that ripped through her back.

"ALICE! DON'T YOU DARE CLOSE YOUR EYES!"

"You're… so cool, Master… I'm... so happy in being your Duel Monster."

Dark Magician Girl smiled, only to vomit blood as she convulsed with pain. Jack O'Donnell could only watch, his heart standing on the sidelines, and he gritted his teeth.

"… I won't let this be our ending… Not when we finally meet each other again after 10 whole years."

"….. No matter what, Master…. I'll always stand by your side….."

"Then let's walk this god-d*mn road as far as we can."

"Yes… Master…"

The ending, had arrived. And it started by Jack O'Donnell grabbing the Horn of the Unicorn from the Wheelbarrow full of rubble.

"MAGIC CARD – ACTIVATE!"

A brilliant light erupted around the boy and the Spellcaster, swallowing them in a bloom of Green Flame. The fires swept all over the floor, while the golden horn in Jack's hand glowed violently in his grip.

"I CAST – HORN OF THE UNICORN!"

The boy touched the end of the unicorn horn onto the Spellcaster's forehead—

—And everything was decided.

"W-what! No! Th-this isn't fair! I-I'm suppose to be the winner! I'm the queen! Y0-you can't forfeit my role!"

"Shut the h*ll up you old hag and take your medicine like a man."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Standing tall in front of the human, was a certain Spellcaster in a pink skirt and lovely witch's armor. The blood from her body was wiped clean, her wounds erased. A burning green light vibrated all over her frame… a beautiful decorative war horn attached to her Spellcaster's helmet.

Like a heavenly Valkyrie.

"I invoke the power of Horn of Unicorn! Once I equip this Spell Card to my monster, it increases the base attack power by 700!"

Insect Queen's ATK is 2200. Dark Magician Girl's ATK is now 2700.

One shall stand. One shall fall.

"R-RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Knowing the odds were against it, the Insect Queen took flight to the skies. Jack O'Donnell grimaced at the sight.

"Only heroes have the right to run away with style – SWAT IT!"

"Hmph. I, Alice, shall be the one to cast judgement on you… BLACK BURNING!"

The Dark Magician Girl swung out with her sceptre, and unleashed a blazing black ball of dark-matter into the sky. Without wasting time, it just smashed into and ate right through the enemy's body.

Insect Queen – defeated.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE CEMETERY FIEEEELLLLLLD…,...,...,...,...,... *Silence*"

And that was the last of the Level 7 monster.

"… I… I did it… I-I've defeat my first Duel Monster. I-I know I brought down a lot of other monsters in the past, but th-they were al part of the card game. I-I'm actually a hero now! Just like Master! M-master, Master! I know this is a lot to ask for but…. Could you please pet my head, Kyaaaaaaaaa!"

"…"

"… M-Master? Wh-why are you staggering about? Are you feeling—"

"BUWHAAA-HAAAAA!"

For the second time in the day, Dark Magician Girl's face was splattered with blood. This time, it did not belong to the enemy. It was 100% human DNA. It was—

"MASTER!"

—Jack O'Donnell who collapsed from the victory of the fight… completely covered in wounds from the Insect Queen's sonic wings.

"MASTER! DON'T YOU DARE CLOSE YOUR EYES! PLEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASE!"

...

...

 ** _=[END TURN]=_**


	9. BITTER SWEET

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=09=**  
 _ **'Bitter Dream, Sweet Cruelty'**_

* * *

Jack O'Donnell was eaten alive by the Level 7 Insect Queen.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ANYTHING BY THE INTESTINE-THEME HAPPY FUN SLIDE! UWAAAAAAAAH….. Phew, it was just a dream."

The boy who had been thrown into a world where Duel Monsters invaded Earth, woke up to find himself in the middle of his school's library.

A book was open in front of him, his school bag in the empty seat next to him, and some traces of dried drool on his cheek stuck to him.

… Jack O'Donnell had returned to his normal boring (safe) life.

"… Ha-ha… Ha-ha-ha… I knew it… it was all just a figment of my imagination… It should have been. It makes absolute no sense for Duel Monsters to up and come to life in a world with no real magic or esper powers to make such an event possible. Y-yes, I was just hallucinating… everything was fake…Red Eyes Black Dragon trying to eat me, Insect Queen trying to skewer me alive… and most definitely I did not meet Dark Magician Girl and act like a hero. I – am a mother-father boring protagonist in a boring life with no magical wars and casualties….. Yes! I am!"

"…. So cruel, Master."

"Eh?"

Jack O'Donnell made that small sound, not because he heard the voice, but because he leaned his head back to bounced into a soft chest.

The lovely feeling belonged to a certain girl who wore a wizard-style armor, with a cone hat and pink silk skirt, and a pair of blush stickers on her cheeks.

Dark Magician Girl, Alice.

"My feelings are hurt, Master. I just went to get more bandages to tie up your wounds, and the moment you woke up – you wished saving me never happened… You're so mean…. *sniff*…"

"… Oi… How long were you standing behind me?"

"The moment you woke up and claimed everything was a dream like a stereotypical movie ending with a shotty plot."

"… The whole time?"

"This included your 'hallucinations' of Red Eyes Black Dragon nearly eating you, Insect Queen nearly skewering you, and worst of all – never meeting me….. How can you make a cute girl like me cry with such a foolish look on your face!?"

"…"

Jack O'Donnell, sitting in the middle of his school library with one book open in front of him and his bag sitting next to him in an empty seat – his whole body covered head to toe in bandages – stared at Dark Magician Girl as if she was a mirage… something like that.

"… Sh*********************************************t…"

And the boy ended up waking up to a new reality where it involved gripping his hair in absolute delirium.

"Does this mean my life is destroyed and I have to risk my life in sealing away one monster after another like a magical girl of love and justice!?"

"… What's wrong with being a Magical Girl, Master?… You're hurting my pride…"


	10. FAITH GIRL

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=10=**  
 _ **'The Girl of Living Faith'**_

* * *

"Master. Won't you please come out."

"Not on the hairs of my chin, so stop coaxing me with treats and put away that cookie."

Jack O'Donnell finally woken up to his situation, while he was waving away Dark Magician Girl's good will of offering him a cookie.

He was trapped in his real world where Duel Monsters were invading every corner of the globe. It was all over the news, the radio, and even the newspaper.

It was the fastest time any sudden news has ever been printed with such frightening speed.

Fortunately, there were some very small paragraph worth of details how not all Duel Monsters were bad and some natural benevolent, but face it – it looked like a monster take over to humanity.

"Of course everyone would freak out when their normal lives are crushed by the flames of Red Eyes Black Dragon, the fists of an Ancient Gear Golem, or even the talons of a Harpy Lady."

"Master. You're just stereotyping us Duel Monsters like the rest of the people you hate. You're a Duelist, you should understand our true feelings! Do you see me running around yelling _'ha-ha-ha! Destruction! So much fun! More bloodshed'_ or junk like that! It's me, Dark Magician Girl, your Alice!"

"…"

"… Master, why are you staring at me as if I revealed I was the murderer of a mystery case?"

"Sorry. The way you said destruction and more bloodshed sound strangely natural coming from you."

To end Jack's worry, Dark Magician Girl drop kicked him in the face.

"BUGYAAAAH! THE HECK WAS THAT FOR, ALICE!?"

"… I'll be honest. I wanted to kick you Master… but by the time I lifted up my beautiful leg – that dictionary struck you in the face."

"… Haaaanh?"

Jack O'Donnell was holding his bruised nose as he got up from the floor. He was in a library, so seeing books of all types of all genres and of all categories would make perfect sense. Novels, textbooks, periodicals, journals, research paper, newspaper archives, microfilm, DVD, textbooks (twice?), and so much more…

… Still. Any one of these types of books would be a very weird book if they not only can fly – but fly straight into Jack O'Donnell's face.

"GUBFFFFFFFF!?"

See, another Encyclopedia Britannica came soaring down to slam the boy in the face.

"QUIT IT, ALICE!"

"Master! My magic is Black Burning. It blows stuff up, not control things via telepathy!"

"Telekinesis! Then who the frick is throwing—GUWOOOH! STOP IT!"

"Ha-ha-ha. It is I, noisy human. So shut your loud trap and get the h*ll out of my sanctuary!"

In the middle of a two person argument… a third person suddenly appeared to enter the fight. It was neither friend nor foe, human or cosplayer. It was.

"… Oi, Alice, who the h*ll is she?"

"….. Heh!? M-M-MAGICIAN OF FAITH!?"

"….. Eh?... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!?"


	11. CARD GET!

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=11=**  
 _ **'New Card - Get!'**_

* * *

Magician of Faith.

It was well known as one of the weakest card in the Duel Monster's world. But that doesn't mean it was 100% useless.

With an ATK of 300 and a DEF of 400, it possessed a special ability.

Whenever this card flips from a face down to a face up position, the player is able to recall one Spell Card that sits in their graveyard and add it back into their hand. Convenient.

"… Ah right. I remember this card. I usually set it on the field, coax my enemy to attack, active Mirror Force to blow the sh*tty monsters from their field, then I flip her over to draw back one Spell card before using her as Tribute to summon you Alice."

"Oh! I remember too! She was so helpful in our Attack Plans and always acted as a great decoy to deter the enemy! I salute to your hard work, fellow comrade!"

"….. Are you guys f**king picking a fight with me?"

Standing on top of a tall shelf full of various types of unsorted books, was a petite girl with blue robes and red sleeves for her pants and arms. Her purple hair was tied back and she gripped onto a long staff with a golden crescent moon ornament.

As true to her battle stats – she looked weak.

"QUIT PRESSING MY BUTTONS YOU IDIOTS!"

The girl jumped down from the bookshelf. To her size, it was no different than a fall from a two story building. Yet she waved her wand casually, forcing the books to slip from their shelves and pile up in a spilling motion.

It became a miniature slide for her to slid down and level with Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician Girl on the floor.

Note: She was only one head shorter than Jack O'Donnell… and he was some inches shorter than the average highschool boy.

"Yes, little girl. How can I help you?"

"Gaaaaaaah! H-how dare you treat this powerful Spellcaster like a child! I'll smack you with my staff!"

"Kyaaaaa! Master, Master! She's so cute. Can we adopt her?"

"H-hold up! That sort of relationship is too fast for me. Child or not, you just can't pick up and keep a lost girl out of the blue as if she were a stray cat! There's all sorts of legalities behind—"

The Magician of Faith was shoved aside as Jack O'Donnell barreled right up to Dark Magicians Girl, teeth gritting with a menacing glare. He was more annoyed than angry at the cute Alice.

"I refuse. This girl is noisier than my little sister, a complete troublemaker like my little sister, and she'll definitely eat even more than my sister. I can't expand the budget even if I'm working over 10 different part-time jobs over the month."

"…. Hey, do you goons care about my feelings at all?"

"But Master, we can't leave her out in the cruel world, all alone, with no one to cuddle with… I know, we can smuggle her into your house and dress her up like a cat."

"I don't care if you're a Level 6 Spell Caster with an attack power 6.67 times greater than me – there's no way I'm leaving this conversation without smacking one of—Uwaaah!"

Dark Magical Girl stepped in, accidentally bumping over the Magician of Faith who tumbled to the floor.

"Master! Why don't we call her Darjeeling?"

"Alice! I don't want to spend any more money to feed another god-d*mn mouth!"

"… Fine, you two goons keep bickering at each other. A-after I rest on this carpet, you'll be sorry. I'll definitely make you pay for… pay for… *yawn*… making… fun… of….. Zzzzzzzz."

As the hero and his trusted Duel Monster continued their conversation, the Magician of Faith ended up sleeping on the floor of the library.

Even with all the noise from one's excitement and one's annoyance, the stillness of the library seemed to brought some sense of peace into her heart.

"… Mmm… One tray of Takoyaki… with extra teriyaki sauce… Zzzz… Zzzzz…."


	12. LOVE FAIL

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=12=**  
 _ **'Love, Triumph, Failure'**_

* * *

Jack O'Donnell eventually calmed down to sit in a chair at the long study table of the library. In large empty commons, as school was over, he asked Dark Magician Girl a very important questions.

"Are you alive?"

"… Master. I'm sitting right in front of you, no?"

"How's your wound?"

"… Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I-I mean…"

"How's your wound?"

"…. I'm fine… Thank you. Luckily, my magic was able to support my life energy, and thanks to Masters quick thinking, the Horn of the Unicorn was able to erase my injuries in time before they became critical."

"…"

"…. M-Master? Why are you glaring at me? D-did I say something wrong."

"The next time you want to play hero – don't throw away your body so recklessly."

"…. Yes. I understand, Master.

Hearing those harsh words spoke in a harsh tone from a harsh voice, Dark Magician Girl smiled. She watched as the boy she called Master turned away with a grumble, his one finger on the table tapping in a steady beat.

 _(He's thinking of a strategy… one where if the next time I'm in danger, he knows how to avoid me getting hurt… That's his habit whenever he tries to think of a solution to break his opponent's defenses.)_

Dark Magician Girl, who her Master recognizes as his Alice, grinned even wider as she gazed at his hand that tapped at an ordinary steady pace.

 _(Ah. He's tapping it a bit faster. He's really frustrated in not being able to come up with a sure fire way to protect me… That's probably what he's thinking right now.)_

The Spellcaster's eyes were dancing with a lovely light in her cornea, just looking at that one finger moving up and down, over and over.

Somehow, she could stare at it all day.

"I just don't get it."

Dark Magician Girl snapped awake, but her smile never broke. Jack O'Donnell finally broke the silence as he turned to the Duel Monster who sat next to him.

"How did I end up here?"

"… Is that what you were thinking about, Master?"

"Well?"

"… Sigh. My guess you would have thought you would wake up in your home, in your bed and think it was all a dream until you find cute little me sleeping on the side of your bed and holding your hand … Sadly, since you moved around too much, I can't recall what's your current address. I only know you go to this school based on the uniform symbol you're wearing."

"… How the h*ll did you get into the library. This school was specifically designed to keep out tardy students out and rebel students in. They went as far as installing a 'pseudo-electric fence' that will shock the sh*t out of you with a non-lethal dose of decent voltage… So, how did you break in?"

"B-break in? What do you mean? I used the front door, why?"

Somehow, a dead silence filled the quiet library. That meant something was heavy in the air and it began to weigh down on Jack's shoulders.

"… What do you mean the front door?"

Dark Magician Girl blinked, before she pointed off somewhere. The action was similar to a local directing a tourist where the nearest bathroom was.

Jack O'Donnell turned….. and wished he had the strength to scream.

There was a giant freshly vaporized hole in one side of the Library. If you look closely, it punched into the Arts Room, through the School Storage, two regular class rooms, and all the way until Jack could see the faint frame of a freshly vaporized school gate.

"The numbers on the door won't shut up about a password, so I used my Black Burning to set my own password. Aren't I smart Master!?"

"…."

Jack O'Donnell wanted to hit Dark Magician Girl in the back of her head. However, the cute expression she had in displaying how smart of a problem solver she was in such a situation was too much. The sensation of guilt crossed his heart…

…. So he took out his frustrations by hitting the back of the sleeping Magician of Faith girl's head.

"BUGYAAAAAAAAAAAH! HEATHEN! I'LL MELT YOU WITH MY MAGIC!"

"NOW THAT YOU'VE FINALLY FLIPPED-WAKING UP, COUGH UP A MAGIC CARD FROM YOUR POCKET DIMENSION!"

"TH-THAT'S NOT HOW MY MAGIC WORKS YOU IDIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!"


	13. LUSTER-2

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=13=**  
 _ **'Danger #2'**_

* * *

"… Oi. Alice. Do you see the Level 6 monster that I'm seeing?"

"Please don't ask me, Master. I'm still praying to whatever god you worship to drop a large piano on its head."

"…Oh… sh*t."

Jack O'Donnell frowned. Dark Magician Girl quivered. Magician of Faith cursed.

There was a perfectly good reason for such a reaction.

Because a certain Duel Monster had smashed through the wall of the library and was looking for something to eat. Turns out books were not of its taste.

It turned on the three individuals who had been bickering not to long ago with each other.

… They look taste.

"Alice."

"You're going to use that technique, aren't you, Master?"

"H-heh? Te-technique! A-are you telling me this scrawny heathen is actually a samurai in secret and can slice through five thick books in one slice!?"

"Yes, Alice. Normally, I would leave this as a last option, but there's just no time for a light bulb moment."

"Can you please be gentle with my body this time. You almost pulled my arms off the last time you towed me."

"Geh!? D-don't tell me this is some kind of R-Rate technique? K-kids of your age shouldn't be doing adult stuff like that!"

"Okay, on the count of three, Alice."

"Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three."

"I-I don't care what spell you're about to cast just kill that thing… Heh? Where are you going?… Wait, you're…. RUNNING AWAY!?"

The second Magician of Faith turned around to see what killer technique Jack and Alice had up their sleeves – she saw their fading images as they dashed into the deeper safe zones in the library, ducking behind thick bookshelves for cover.

This meant the Level 3 Monster with an ATK of 300 and a DEF of 400 was left by herself…

… To face a Level 6 Monster with 2400 and a DEF of 1400… Luster Dragon #2 (a.k.a. Sapphire Dragon).

"… YOU MOTHER—"

To censor Magician of Faith's words, the Dragon monster let out a large deafening roar to drown our her sound.


	14. LEEROY J

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=14=**  
 _ **'Leeeeerooooooooooy... Jenkiiiiins!'**_

* * *

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."

"Complain all you want, Fifi. It's your own d*mn fault for not picking up on the social cue."

"Master. Don't be so harsh with her, she's only a Level 3 child."

"WHY YOU BIT—"

Magician of Faith stopped her screaming when she heard the Sapphire Dragon closing in on her location. She, along with Jack O'Donnell, and Dark Magician Girl, were hiding under a makeshift fort made out of bookshelves.

Rather, they were forcefully shoved over and dripped dry of their books from the recent Sapphire Dragon's rampage and its Wind Breath Attack. Already half of the library resembled the ruins of a lost tomb of an ancient civilization. It was nerve-wracking to even fathom this place was a library common with decent state of the art tech, computers, and library system only 10 seconds ago.

"I-I hate this situation more. Wh-why am I dragged into your fight, heathen? ... And quit call me Fifi! It's Faith! Faaiiiith!"

"Let me get this straight, Fifi, this is definitely not my fight. We're being hunted, simple as that. That freaking lizard sees you as an extra morsel on its dinner plate, no more no less."

"Master, that's still too harsh. Just tell her we're her friends, we won't hurt her, and pat her on the head to gain her trust."

"Do I look like a f**king stray cat, you magical b*tch?"

Regardless of Magician of Faith's killer snarl, Dark Magician Girl happily petted the Level 3 Spellcaster with her one hand.

… Okay, time to get down to business.

"Okay, we're screwed. This new monster of the day may not be as powerful as Insect Queen in terms of levels, but it still has an attack power of 2400. Alice's attack is 2000. A reckless Leeroy-Jenkins style attack is a no-go."

"…. Ahem."

"What, Fifi?"

"What about my power status?"

"You're in the freaking three-number digit. Do I really need to buy a billboard ad to broadcast that useless information."

"MOTHER—"

Dark Magician Girl swooped in to slap a hand on Magician of Faith's mouth before the latter cold finish. The Sapphire Dragon had crept back again, sniffing around, only to snort in dissatisfaction from the smell of old paperbacks.

"… Master. Why don't we use Horn of the Unicorn, like how we beat the Insect Queen with?"

"…."

Jack O'Donnell was silent. He had the expression as if to gesture, using the same trick would never work.

Magician of Faith peeled off Dark Magician Girl's hand from her mouth, to give the protagonist a smirk.

"Oooh. Look whose all high and mighty now, bug-root. Ha-ha-ha. Heathens like you should just go home and cry at your own uselessness and leave saving the day to heroes like myself."

The Level 3 Spellcaster with an ATK of 300 and a DEF of 400 patted her barely noticeable chest with false pride…. Too soon?

"Heh-heh. I've got a—"

"Alice! Let's use that Horn of the Unicorn to increase your attack points to beat it like the Insect Queen!"

"Uwaaaaah! Master is so smart! Let's do it!"

"THE F**K ARE YOU REALLY SUPPORTING HIS SCENE-STEALING STUPIDITY FROM THE BOTTOM OF YOUR HEART!"

The next thing Magician of Faith realized, she was yelling and swinging her crescent moon staff through empty air. She looked around, not spotting the two hiding in the same bookshelf fort she was at…

… Only to drop her entire staff to the ground loudly when she saw the boy and his Spellcaster marching out into the open.

"… Ah."

The petite girl gave a small sound, watching Jack and Dark Magician Girl stop in front of the Sapphire Dragon.

"Oi. Lizard breath…. You're next line this 'I'm defeated!? Impossible!?"

"Uwaaaaaah! Master is so cooooooooool!"

"…"

Magician of Faith was held safe in the fort made out of fallen bookshelves and reinforced with piles of books spilled all over the floor.

Yet… she was crying as if she was the one being pushed into a pit full of beef-bodied gladiators.

"… Why wasn't I born as Blue Eyes White Dragon?"

… Good question.


	15. YOUR MOVE

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=15=**  
 _ **'Your Move'**_

* * *

In the first turn – Jack O'Donnell screwed up.

"SH*T!"

"M-MASTER!?"

The boy and Level 6 Spell Caster had come up with a brilliant plan they had acquired from their previous battle with the Level 7 Insect Queen. Use the Horn of Unicorn, increase the base attack points by 700, and beat the sh*t out of it with Black Burning.

They did just that – but turns out the rule of 'Never use the same trick twice' was true right now.

"M-M-MYSTICAL SPACE TYPHOON!? HOW THE H*LL DID IT USE THAT!?"

The opponent wasn't a Duelist Player, but another Duel Monster. A Level 6 Luster Dragon #2 (Sapphire Dragon). The moment Jack O'Donnell called out the magic of the spell card Horn of Unicorn from out of thin hair and attach it onto Dark Magician Girl's helmet—

-The creature countered with a Quick-Play Spell card it had in its body.

Mystical Space Typhoon: Destroy 1 Spell or Trap Card on the field.

It's target was none other than—

"M-Master! The horn is breaking!"

Dark Magician Girl screamed as the Sapphire Dragon cast the Spell Card's effect through a Wind-powered breath attack. It slammed into the girl with the force of a tyrant gale, and the pressure squeezed the Horn ornament on her magician's hat without mercy.

Like a giant squeezing a tiny human in its hand until it went *pop*.

"…. Master…. We're screwed."

"That's my line—UWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

Before anyone knew it, the Sapphire Dragon immediately chased after Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician Girl as they ran all around the school library like mice in a science maze.

"I DON'T LIKE THAT EXAMPLE, MASTER! I DON'T WANT TO BE EATEN LIKE A RAT!"

"Y-YOU'RE A POPULAR SPELLCASTER, RIGHT? THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IIIIIIIIIIT!"


	16. FEATHER FOOL

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=16=**  
 _ **'Fools of a Feather'**_

* * *

"Hey! You two idiots! Over here!"

The Magician of Faith that Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician Girl stumbled upon popped out from around the corner of a book case, waving their hands over to them. The next thing she knew it, their uncontrollable running tackled into her and and they accidentally buried themselves under a pile of books.

"Iyaaanh! M-master! N-no, not there! Th-that's Forbidden Territory! Kyaaa!"

"… Stop mumbling lewd noises, you b*tch. It's me, Faith. Now stop caressing my fanny and—UGYAH!"

"GET THE H*LL OFF ME - BOTH OF YOU!"

Magician of Faith and Dark Magician Girl were tossed up in the air from under the burial of books, realizing they had been sitting on Jack O'Donnell the entire time.

After a short argument here, some cheeks pulling there, they finally had a second round of a strategy meeting.

"I say we press the Run Button."

The two Duel Monsters stared at the boy.

"… I'm serious! We don't have the necessary firepower to take on that monster! It's attack is 2400, there is no way in h*ll Alice can beat that thing with sheer guts alone!"

"…. Master. My pride is hurt. Please apologize."

"Then by all means go out and have an epic life and death battle with it. I'll stay here, rooting for you."

"… Tch."

Dark Magician Girl clicked her tongue and ended up drawing circles in the ground with her finger, feeling absolutely useless.

Magician of Faith frowned.

"… Why are you looking at me heathen."

"Hmm? Oh, right. Sorry, bad habit. In this situation, I would have placed you face down on the field to bait my enemies to attack, only to activate a trap card to keep them from hitting you. Once I flip summon you to activate your bonus effects, I normally use you as tribute to summon monsters like Summoned Skull or something."

"… I hate you, all of you."

"Apologize! You made Alice cry because you said the h-a-t-e-word!"

"Please shut up and drop dead, heathen."


	17. REVERSE TRAP!

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=17=**  
 _ **'Reverse Trap!'**_

* * *

Jack O'Donnell finally had an idea.

The card to victory was within his grasp.

"… Times up, let's do this – LEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!"

"Wait for me Master!- JOHN CIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"….. I refuse to follow in this idiocy—GUGYAH!"

Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician valiantly burst through the corridors of the library, launching themselves from the rail of bookshelves, all the while dragging Magician of Faith behind them.

They leapt up to run across the top of the bookshelves, spotting the Sapphire Dragon that was searching for them. If it weren't for their scents giving away their position, their reckless screaming sure did the trick.

The creature snapped at them with a crystal dragon breath attack, in full force.

2400 vs 2000.

"BLACK BURNING!"

Dark Magician Girl fired off her own attack, dodging the dragon breath that singed at the ends of her long hair by chance. Her orb of disintegrating black magic curved up to smash under the dragon's jaw…. Or rather, it swung clear of its head to hit the ceiling.

The black orb smashed across the top of the library, exploding dust and flames all over…. At the same time, it triggered the fire sprinkler systems, ejecting jets of cold water all over the room. There weren't any flames going on about, so the room just filled up with water that easily filled up to the dragon's ankle in less than 3 minutes.

The Sapphire Dragon had no clue what they were doing… but it was p*ssed off for sure.

"Hey, lizard breath… You're next line is 'Bugyaa-gyaa-gyaa-gyaah.'"

Hearing Jack O'Donnell's comment, the Sapphire Dragon fired its crystal dragon breath once more.

"JUMP!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

The boy and Level 3 Spellcaster dove off from a balcony they had perched themselves on, letting the crystal dragon breath rip open the wall behind them.

At first, it was just a missed shot… until the dust cleared away… causing the Sapphire Dragon to swallow hard.

Electrical Panels.

"FIFI! NOW!"

"MY – NAME – IS – FAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH!"

In their fall, the Magician of Faith reached out her long staff. It had a crescent moon ornament on the top, it was super sharp. Like a scythe, she hooked it onto a wiring in the electric panels and sliced it off in her fall.

The torn wire flopped to the balcony edge – dripping with water to the pool around the dragon's ankles.

*GYAA-GYAA-GYAA-GYAAAAAAAAAAH!*

"Ha-ha! All according to my calculations!"

"Y-you idiot! I almost got since because my staff was a conductor! Now my hair is standing on their ends! Take responsibility!"

"DARK MAGICIAN GIRL! ATTACK!"

"HAAAAH! BLACK BURNING – THE SECOND!"

"LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS!"


	18. FLIP EFFECT

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=18=**  
 _ **'Flip Effect - Activate!'**_

* * *

In the end, the attack failed.

"… I say we run."

"Hold your ground Fifi, this isn't over yet."

"Don't worry, Master, I'm right behind you."

Magician of Faith wanted to run away from this madness even if they acquired absolute victory. It was because the Sapphire Dragon wasn't dead… more or less.

The moment Jack O'Donnell's trap worked, it shocked the h*ll out of the Level 6 Monster to weaken its attack points. The numbers were never clear nor properly explained – but it was enough for Dark Magician Girl to vaporize it with her Black Magic. It ended everything.

However, something force the battle to continue.

"So, Duel Monsters could be smart as players to huh? Tch, didn't expect the dragon to set up Call of the Haunted before hand."

Call of the Haunted. A popular trap card which allows the player to call back one monster from the graveyard and back to the battle field. It has been used in strategies where such players intentionally throw away their good cards from their deck or hand and into the graveyard – just so they could summon Level 6, Level 7, and even Level 8 Monsters with out going through the trouble of sacrificing the required Tribute Monsters.

In other words, one could toss away a Level 8 Blue Eyes White Dragon – and then use Call of Haunted to call it back. No tributes.

So convenient.

That was what Sapphire Dragon believed as its once shattered body returned to the stage to finish the fight. This time, it was smart enough to use its god-given wings to stay off from the water, avoiding Jack's electricity trap.

The battle – was decided.

"You lost the moment you played your first hand buddy."

Even when victory was about to be stolen from his grasp, the boy did not let go of his annoyed frown.

Neither did Dark Magician Girl back down with any trace of fear. Rather, she stood to protect Jack with even more confidence.

Magician of Faith—

"… On my defense! This heathen forced me along with his plan, or else he'll molest me and take embarrassing photos to—UGYAAAAAAAAAAAH—GBFFFFFFFF!?"

… The Level 3 Spellcaster made two unique sounds.

The first one was made as if she woke up from 'slipping her foot of a cliff'.

The second one was made when her face was smashed into the ground, her entire body sprawled across the floor.

Courtesy of Jack O'Donnell.

"I set one card face down in Defense Mode!"

"MMM!? MMMMM! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"

Don't worry about the translation. The Level 3 Spellcaster's dialogue was too vulgar for public broadcasting. Even when she tried to get up, Jack just gripped at her hair and forced her face even deeper into the wooden floor.

"… Now, I flip summon my monster! MAGICIAN OF FAITH!"

"MMMMM!? Puwaaaah—I'LL F**KING KILL—"

"Flip Effect — Activate!"

"…. Heh?"

Magician of Faith gave a small sound. The third one… represented her absolute confusion of what was going on.

That was when a burning light appeared, bursting up from under the wooden flooring, a floated in the air. It was enough to prevent Sapphire Dragon from charging at them.

The Level 3 Spellcaster… was astonished herself.

"Wh-wh-what sorcery is this!?"

"When I flip summon Magician of Faith on the field – I acquire one Spell Card that lies in the graveyard to my control!"

"… Ah!"

"… Ah!"

Both Magician of Faith and the Sapphire Dragon shared the same noise when they realized that simple power.

Magician of Faith. Level 3 Spellcaster with an ATK of 300 and a DEF of 400.

Special Effects: (FLIP-Effect Type) Target 1 Spell card in the graveyard and return it to your hand.

In other words, Magician of Faith had only one thing to do…

"… H..ha-ha-ha… KYAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! I – HAVE – THE POWEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

Make everyone bow before her like an Empress among the servants.

"PREPARED TO GET WRECKED YOU WALKING FROG! ONCE I CALL BACK THE HORN OF THE UNICORN AND HAND IT OVER TO THAT MAGIC B*TCH, YOU'RE SCREWED! GYAAAA-HAAA-AHAAAA-HAAAA!"

"The target spell is – Mystical Space Typhoon!"

"… Eh?... Heh?... THE F**CK ARE YOU DOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!?"

Even with Magician of Faith screaming her head off at Jack O'Donnell, he did not flinch nor hesitate. He said the name of the card with a clear and determined voice.

And flare of light reacted to his call – turning into an Arcanic symbol that attached itself to Dark Magician Girl's magic scepter.

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! MYSTICAL SPACE TYPHOON ONLY TARGETS SPELL CARDS! THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN BLOW UP A MONSTER CARD!"

"Dark Magician Girl, Alice! Black Burning!"

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

"The target is – Call of the Haunted!"

Magician of Faith felt her entire veins froze over, as if they were poured with fresh water from the Arctic.

 _(… Impossible. Don't tell me… this idiot pervert heathen thought through the entire battle… since the beginning!?)_

After the Level 3 Spellcaster made that deduction in her heart, turned around, in time to see the results.

"MAGIC CYCLONE – BURST!"

Dark Magician Girl swung her scepter and released a churning wave of black energy powered by the mystical cosmos. It shot straight at Sapphire Dragon, who fired back with its own breath attack, but the mystical orb pulled a beautiful curve ball around its attack.

It smashed right into a large pile of books in one corner, obliterating them like the cheap stone walls of a castle. Hiding underneath the pile was a magical tombstone where a faint phantasmal wisp was connected to Sapphire Dragon.

It cracked. It chipped. It exploded like glass.

Mystical Space Typhoon's Effect: Target 1 Spell or Trap Card on the Field - and destroy it.

"Guroooooooooh..."

"Sorry buddy. You can be reborn without a price... at least not in this reality."

Yes. Call of the Haunted was a popular card. With the right strategy, you can Special Summon high level monsters like Blue-Eyes White Dragon directly from the Graveyard. However, it possessed an equally strong weakness.

Should this Trap Card be targeted for destruction by a Spell Card, Trap Card, or Monster Effect - the Monster special summoned by its effects return to the graveyard. Meaning something like Dust Tornado, Heavy Storm, Giant Trunade, Trap Master, Jinzo, etc... can easily destroy Blue-Eyes White Dragon and defeat the player with attacking Magician of Faith directly to render the Life Points Zero.

Based on that simple law - the Dragon Monster faded away and out of existence.

 **Sapphire Dragon - Defeated.**

"... Good grief."

Jack O'Donnell said those unique words as he pulled down the front of his hair, as if it were the brim of a cape. He turned his back on the fading dust of Sapphire Dragon, and turned to look up in the sky.

"... So... Does this mean I'm permanently stuck in a plot where I have to capture 1000+ Duel Monsters like some kind of magical girl who fights for love and justice... Sh*t."

The boy gave a groan... only to fall silent when a tender hand slipped into his fingers, holding him by the palm. It was warm, soft... and felt so sweet.

"You still have me behind you, Master... So please move forward without fear... okay? This Alice is always supporting you!"

"... Alright, alright. I'll stop mopping around and keep walking... Sigh..."

"Hey. Heathen, turn around."

"Yes, Fifi? What do you-GUFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

The boy of this story gave a weird sound after he turned around - receiving a full on body check in the gut by a particular Level 3 Spellcaster. The two went tumbling over in a messy heap, both of them splashing in the water. (Note: The electricity ran out, so it is no longer shock-charged. Rest assured).

"Wh-what! L-Little one! What are you doing to Master!?"

"My - name - is - FAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH!"

Magician of Faith gave that blood curdling screech hat shook whatever was left of the broken library. She sat on top of the fall Jack O'Donnell, gripping him up by the lapel of his uniform, and gnashed her teeth together.

"You!... M... Make me bigger."

"... Haaaaaaaaaaaaah?"

The Level 3 Spellcaster then pointed directly at Dark Magician Girl (who instinctively hugged her chest).

"MAKE MY LEVEL AS BIG AS HEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

"THAT IS PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, AND REALISTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE! NOW GET OFF ME YOU LITTLE... Sh*t."

"DON'T CALL ME A PIECE OF SH*T, YOU PIECE OF—"

Jack O'Donnell shoved Magician of Faith off his body, right in the chest. Her cheeks flared up from pink to beet red, her hands subconsciously guarding her chest (barely noticeable), and opened her mouth to yell at him—

 ** _*GAFOOOOOOOOM!*_**

—Only to widen her eyes when an entire bookcase collapsed right on top of the boy.

Like the fist of an angry god... or, even the fingertip of an angry god.

"... H-hey... H-Heathen... s-say something... D-don't act all cool and save me while you take the bullet! Wh-what are you treating me as!? A-A weak damsel!? WAKE UP ALREADY!"

"... M... Master?"

Dark Magician Girl... dropped her battle scepter... her face paling by the second.

And do you know the funny part is... the regular human boy never made a sound as the blood oozed under the bookcases

"MASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

...

...

 ** _=[END TURN]=_**


	19. NIGHTMARE CALL

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=19=**  
 _ **'Nightmare Trouble-Door'**_

* * *

Jack O'Donnell – defeated.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T DRAG ME TO THE CEMETERYYYYYYYYYYYYY… Phew... it was just a dre... HOLY SH************* ********************T!"

To sum up – the boy woke up in a real cemetery.

Jack O'Donnell spun around to look at his surroundings, seeing nothing but horizons full of tombstone, grave marks, and burial mounds.

It was like an army grey bricks that flanked him from all angle.s

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

"Ah! Master! I'm so glad you're awake! You scare me when you blacked out!"

"HOLY SH************************************T!?"

Jack O'Donnell screamed even louder this time… when he saw the phantom of Dark Magician Girl… with a plastic bag in her one hand.

"A-Alice… No… Impossible, my plan was perfect, right? Y-you shouldn't have been destroyed! I-I can't accept this conclusion! I just can't! You deserve better! You're finally a human girl, and a hot one to boot! You can't stay in this hell hole with me! Quick! Where's Monster Reborn! Monster Reincarnation! ANYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING!—Bugffff!"

As if to wake him up, Dark Magician Girl happily tapped a karate chop to his forehead.

"I-it hurts! It really hurts Alice! This isn't the time to…. Wait. Does this mean I'm Alive?"

Dark Magician Girl happily nodded.

"… So… I'm not dead."

Dark Magician Girl happily shook her head.

"….. Are you…. Still alive?"

Dark Magician Girl happily smiled… and held her two hands to her cheek in a peculiar manner.

"Don't worry, Masteeeer. I'll protect you."

"OH MY GOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! YOU'VE TURNED INTO A YANDEREEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

To wake Jack O'Donnell one more time, Dark Magician Girl gave the boy a karate chop to the forehead.

"Psyche!"

"Bugyaaah!"


	20. NIGHT PARADE

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=20=**  
 _ **'Picnic in the Night'**_

* * *

Okay, here was the situation.

After Jack O'Donnell blacked out from having the bookshelf flattened him to pulp (cartoon-physics), the state of the library was no longer fit to be called a shelter. So, Dark Magician Girl took the liberty in dragging Jack to the nearest free spot to rest and recuperate (she didn't know the boy's home address). She also had time to buy some snacks from the nearest convenience store… 'buy' as in 'blew up the lock doors, slapped some dollar bills she took from Jack's wallet and swiped more than her pay'.

It was night fall and the only available place to rest was—

"Of all the places in the world, why a god-d*mn cemetery?"

"… Heeeeh… Master. Don't tell me, you're afraid of ghosts… Ku-ku-ku. You may be cool as a Duelist, but so weak as a regular person. Kee-hee-hee."

"Mmm. There's a caterpillar running up your thigh. Plus a scorpion up your skirt, and a spider down your blouse."

"… Ha-ha-ha. You're jok— OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

It was Dark Magician Girl's turn to scream bloody murder. She immediately start rushing around the graves and burial mounds, fighting desperately in a last-stand battle to defeat the combined assault of a moth caterpillar up her thigh, forest scorpion up her skirt, and black widow spider down her blouse.

After Jack's opinion of stop drop and roll… she defeated them in one swoop, but desperately wanted a shower.

"… I feel disgusting, Master. Uuuuuuuh. *Teary Sniff*"

"Here, use these Alcohol Wipes. You never know when you're forced to touch sh*t you can't stand, especially when the teacher orders you to take out the garbage. Tch."

"Masteeeeeeeeeeer! I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"

"O-oi! Don't say such dangerous words with a teary face like that! I-I'm a boy in my youth, I might misunderstand and act on the wrong emotions from a response like that!"

Seeing Jack as a saviour, Dark Magician Girl took the bag of alcohol clothes and ran off screen to wipe her body down from… the scores of her battle with the spider, scorpion, and caterpillar.

Jack let out a sigh, munching on a ham and cheese sandwich that Dark Magician Girl brought for him, and picked up a rice ball to hand it off to a certain someone.

"What the f**k is that?"

"Japanese Onigiri. Don't be picky."

"This isn't about being picky. You're a stranger whose handing me questionable food. This is being cautious of food poisoning."

"Frankly, your methods are a waste of energy. Just eat already, you brat."

"... One day, I'll become a Level 10 Princess... and I will crush you with my Magic."

"Mmm. Send me a postcard when you reach the top. *Munch*."

"... Tch."

Magician of Faith frowned, before she swiped the rice ball from the boy's hand. Using her tooth and nail to pry the 'easy to peel' wrapping, she took a bite… only to float away in bliss.

"… Oh... So good."

"Savor the flavor. Where thing's are going on my end, this could be your last meal."

Magician of Faith choked on that comment, and splattered Jack's face with rice.

"…. N-no. I'm not sorry about it. *Munch*…"

"…. Good grief."


	21. BATTLE PLAN

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=21=**  
 _ **'Battle Plan'**_

* * *

Jack O'Donnell had a small briefing with everyone.

"So, how did it end up in this mess?"

The attendants were Private First Class - Dark Magician Girl and Private Second Class - Magician of Faith.

"Master! It's your fault for not telling me your home address. Then you waking up in your bed thinking it was a dream, only to find the beautiful me sleeping right next to you and holding you hand, would have been done several chapters ago!"

"I don't care if she's right or wrong about that messed up theory, but it's definitely your idiocy that's brought us down to this problem. I was just an innocent bystander under you brought me into a battle that was beyond my league.

Note: Dark Magician Girl was Level 6 (ATK 2000 / DEF 1700), Magician of Faith Level 3 (ATK 300 / DEF 400).

Jack O'Donnell Level 0 (ATK 0 / DEF 0). Monster Type – God-d*mn human.

He frowned.

"Alright next question. How the h*ll did Duel Monsters started to invade my world. You're all cards, right?"

"…."

"…."

The two Spellcasters exchanged glances, as if using telepathy to figure out an answer between them. They gave each other a synchronized nod, before sharing their united conclusion to their owner.

 _"It still your fault."_

"… Oh, right. Sorry. I shouldn't have been born with the powers of a demon king that is slumbering in my body. I feel guilty it is starting to awaken inside of me and triggering a series of unfortunate events that would lead to the world's destruction. Yes, please forgive me."

 _"You're mocking us now."_

"No sh*t."


	22. SILENT NIGHT

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=22=**  
 _ **'Silent in the Night'**_

* * *

"… Oh… sh*t."

Jack O'Donnell said those words, alone.

Unable to handle how fast-paced the events were, and the fact the two Spellcasters were fighting over the division of prepared snacks and sandwiches, the boy wanted a moment of piece and quiet.

So he ventured through the corner of the cemetery, tossing his last rice ball in his hand like a one-ball juggle.

"… I wonder if Grandpa doesn't mind company…."

That was what he thought… 3 minutes before he found his grandfather's grace.

There, he met a little girl in white.

"…"

"…"

The little girl in white… wasn't the type of girl you'd find in a horror film. She was really small, beyond the designated height for children to star in gory murder films. The white dress she wore wasn't a dress, but a robe that covered her from the neck to her feet.

A white wizard hat sat on her head, with platinum hair trailing over her shoulders like a beautiful curtain. One eye was covered under her hair, as if to block the doorway to her soul, while the other eye was only convenient to see where she was going.

…. Also, to Jack, she looked familiar.

"….. Hi."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEK! IT'S A ZOMBIE! DON'T EAT MEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"THE F**CK!? HOW DID YOU COME TO THAT RANDOM CONCLUSION, LITTLE GHOST GIRL!?"

"I-I'm not a ghost girl! I-I am a powerful Spellcaster! St-stay back or I'll melt your face!"

"… Yes, yes, yes. You're a great and almighty wizard who is neither late nor early and likes to appear exactly when... Oi. What's your name kid? You really look familiar right now."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEH! D-DON'T STARE AT MY CHEST! THEY'RE VALUABLE TO ME! TH-THEY'LL GROW BEAUTIFULLY ONE DAY, SO DON'T EAT THEM TOO, MR. ZOMBIE!"

"LISTEN TO ME PROPERLY BEFORE YOU JUMP THE GUN YOU LITTLE—"

Level 4 Spellcaster, ATK 1000 / DEF 1000 – Silent Magician (Lv 4).


	23. ALWAYS WORKS

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=23=**  
 _ **'Always Hits'**_

* * *

First off Jack O'Donnell screwed up.

"EEEEEK! M-MR. ZOMBIE! PLEASE DON'T LET YOUR FRIENDS EAT ME!"

"WHAT PART OF MY HEALTHY BODY LOOKS LIKE THE WALKING DEAD BELOW OUR FEET!?"

Jack O'Donnell wanted to cheer up the Level 4 Spellcaster, Silent Magician (Lv 4), but treating her to his last Onigiri. Not only did she give the usually spiel like 'children shouldn't talk to strangers or take questionable candy from them', she still took his onigiri claiming 'th-this isn't questionable candy! It's pre-packaged by the food company, so they're safe'

And just when the boy wanted to knock some sense into her wizard hat – his fist struck something super soft, super gross, and super meaty.

"… Sh*t."

No. Fortunately not cow dung.

But the face of a Zombie….

… In terms of this situation of Duel Monsters coming to life – it was Armored Zombie.

"… Sh*t."

The accidental back hand blow to the Undead Monster's face also triggered another reaction…

… 10 other Zombie-type monsters rose from the graves that never belonged to them… followed by another 10… another 10… and another 10… and another 10…

Until it was enough to re-cast all the zombie extras in the latest season of a certain Zombie Apocolypse Television series.

"….. Sh********************t."

Jack O'Donnell was not an ex-military soldier, he was not a businessman who played airsoft on his free time, neither was he a gun fanatic. So there really is only one thing to do.

"… Little ghost girl!"

"S-Silent Magician, the Q-Q-Queen of White Flame!"

"On my mark, I'll deliver my ultimate technique to get us out of this situation!"

"H-heh? Y-you have super powers too!? A-and an ultimate technique so quickly?"

"Yeah. I only use this as a last desperate option… so on my signal, you keep up with me – you hear!?"

"Y-yes! Please teach me your ultimate technique that can erase the army of the dead!"

"…. Okay, Finishing Mooooooooooooooove! Jack-Knife Style #99999999…. Run awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"

"… Heh?"

Before Silent of Magician knew it, Jack O'Donnell picked her up by the back of her white robes as if she were a handbag – drop kicked one Clown Zombie off of his beach ball – and bolted down a narrow lane within the horde of undead and out of the battle scene.

"… C-C-cc-c-c-c-c-cowaaaaaaaaard!"

"S-said the little ghost girl who's squealing like a hamster!"

…. And that was the summary of how the h*ll the two ended up stuck in a tree in the middle of the cemetery.

"Uwaaaaaaah! I want to go hooooooooooooooooome."

"Darn it all, little ghost girl! I'm the protagonist of this story – I should be the one saying that line!"

"IT'S SILENT MAGICIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

And a new tale of the Walking Dead-Monsters had begun.

BATTLE!


	24. WALKING PARTY

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=23=**  
 _ **'Walking Corpse Party'**_

* * *

"Back to the pits that spawned you *sshole!"

Jack O'Donnell stomped down from his hiding spot, knocking down the Level 1 Skull Servant that was scaling up the tree they held themselves in to fall into its bustling brethren.

"S-SILENT PULSE!"

Silent Magician Level 4 waved her tiny wizard staff, igniting a ball of white light and black lightning, and threw it at the falling Skull Servant. The monster ignited into holy flames and was instantly drowned in the sea of undead.

"Oi! Ghost girl! Watch where you shooting! This isn't the moment where we can go trigger happy with a shotgun or Gatling weapon – these guys are Duel Monsters. You're lucky Skull Servant has an Attack of 300, otherwise if it was Armored Zombie with an Attack of 1500 – he'll eat you inside out."

"Kyaaaaaaa! L-la-la-la-la! I-I didn't hear that! La-la-la-la-la-la-la!"

"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BRAT AND LISTEN TO MY ANALYSIS!"

Jack O'Donnell and Silent Magician let out a scream when they felt the tree they were held up in like a castle tower started to shake and buck. They peered down, seeing a massive of reckless Zombies and other undead Monsters crawling up the base of the tree, trying to reach up and eat them.

At this rate, their combined mass will cause the whole tree to snap and fall.

Just like fighting against titans you can kill by slashing the back of their necks – if you touch the ground, it's all over.

"… Hold the bus… Ghost Girl, shoot the tree."

"My name is Silent…. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!?"

"Yes. I'm crazy. Now saw this thing in half!"

To confirm what Jack O'Donnell was mentioning as his attack target, he patted the tree branch he was balanced on.

"… If we break the tree ourselves and fall to the ground into the horde of zombies… wouldn't it be the same as shooting ourselves in the foot?"

"Aesthetically speaking, yes."

"WHAT DOES THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?"

After Silent Magician squeaked (not scream) those words out, Jack O'Donnell had a dangerous grin.

"Horn of the Unicorn."

"Heh?"

Horn of the Unicorn – an Equip-class Spell Card that can increase the target monster by 1700 points.

"By eyeballing alone, all the monsters beneath us are 1500 Attack Points and less. Even Dragon Zombie is a maximum of 1600…"

"… Before I wet myself, could you please tell me what you plan on using that silly horn for?"

"If we played a 1700 Attack Point Monster on the field… who has the last laugh."

"…. Me?"

"Yup."

Silent Magician was not a stupid girl. She did the math, the tactics, and the strategy involved in the boy's idea.

Her base Attack Power was 1000. Add 700 and it's up to 1700. If this was a Duel without Spell or Trap Cards and pure Monsters – Once you put a Blue Eyes White Dragon on the field, the opposing player is messed up… wouldn't you agree.

Nothing can beat the monster with the highest attack points in the whole game.

"…. No. They'll rip my clothes of and do all sorts of naughty things to my body to the point where this story could no longer be aired… I don't want to be the last sweet cookie on the plate."

"Hmm. What's this, it says here in super fine print that Horn of the Unicorn has beneficial side-effects of making you grown in places you want."

"…. Give it to me!"

"That's the spirit, Sadako!"

"SILENT MAGICIAN!"

Game. Set. Battle!


	25. TRAP-TRAP

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=25=**  
 _ **'Trap-Ception'**_

* * *

Right off the bat, Jack O'Donnell f**ked up.

"… Oh… sh*t."

"Mr. Zombie… I hate you so much."

Jack O'Donnell followed everything according to his plan. Have Silent Magician Lvl 4 fire a pulse of her Silent Magic to blow up the base of the tree – along with the horde of Zombie monsters. The boy used his weight to shift the tilt of the tree, so it could fall on as many Zombie Monsters as mathematically possible.

And then he played a Spell Card – triggering a Trap Card.

"… Oi, i-isn't that?"

"M-Mr. Zombie! What is that scary looking shield!?"

Spell Shield Type-8.

A Counter-class Trap Card that has two primary functions depending on the purpose and situation.

 _ **(A)** Negate the effects of one Spell Card that targets a particular monster – destroy_

 _ **(B)** Discard one Spell Card from your hand, in order to negate the activation of a Spell Card – destroy it._

Option B was initiated.

"Wait – wait – wait! BUGYAAAAAH! TOO BRIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!"

"M-Me eyes! My eeeeeeeeyes!"

Jack O'Donnell and Silent Magician were blow away by a pulse of light, from a distinctive Steel Shield that was wielded by one of the many Armored Zombies. If the monster had a lower jaw, it would have been laughing.

The moment Jack O'Donnell casted the power of Horn of the Unicorn, summoning it into the air and into his hand – it immediately shattered.

At the cost of the enemy discarding one Spell Card that shattered like glass as well.

"GUUUUH!?"

"UGUUUU!"

The two made a strange noise when they tumbled across the cementary grounds. Just as they picked themselves up, they woke up to the worst nightmare possible.

Caught on the ground, surrounded by Zombies… no shotgun… not even a diamond one.

"… OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

Jack O'Donnell screamed even harder than the figure in a certain painting, the hordes of Zombies drawing closer. Even if they lost their organs, their skin, their flesh, they still had one thing left for them to enjoy… drooling like hungry men.

"G-get away from me you sickos! W-wipe off those lecherous grins right this instance!"

The boy picked up a shovel and started swinging it around in a last ditch effort…

… Only for that Armor Zombie to cut it down with its rusted katana like kindling.

"….Oi! Sadako! What are you doing!? Curling up like a hamser isn't going to raise your cute factors to the point where even Zombies would be repelled by your Moe-ness!"

"I-I'm not curling up! I-I'm praying."

"… Hah?"

The boy had difficulty staying in the nightmarish reality as he watched Silent Magician down on her knees, head bowed, and hands folded. With her cuped hands, she made a cross symbol over her head and shoulders to whisper a quick prayer.

"P-please bring us salvation with your holy light and deliver us from this nightmare… Almighty Winged Dragon of Ra."

"… Oi."

Just as Jack O'Donnell decided to give up and be eaten by the Zombie Monsters – the boy's grandfather's grave exploded.

"… Eh?... Heh…. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!?"

A ray of light shot out from below, blinding the Zombies and Undead Creatures within the area.

Somehow… it moved in the winds… flapping around… like a flag of hope.

"…. SADAKO, GET OVER HERE!"

"MEAP!?"

Jack O'Donnell picked up Silent Magician like a handbag again and ran through the staggering horde. Thanks to the bright light, it kept the Zombies from moving and they screamed dead cries as their skin burned.

The boy skipped the last few meters by diving in for a baseball dive, jabbing his arm down the hole where the light came from and deep into his grandfather's grave… all without thinking.

"…. No… no way… How the h*ll did he have this?"

Whether by Coincidence or an Act of Fate… Jack O'Donnell drew out the magical powers of another Duel Monster Card.

… A Trap Card…. And this was very popular too.

"… Ha ha… ha-ha-ha…. Ha… GYAAAAAH—HA-HA-HAAA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The boy laughed like a maniac, clencing onto the nearly acquired power that made him go insane. Even the little Silent Magician Lv 4 was shriveled up even smaller than a hamster as she watched him trapped in his hysteria.

"GET PAWNED, SUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!"

And Jack O'Donnell delivered the wrath of his ancestors onto the Zombie Horde.

"TRAP CARD – OPEN!"

The Zombies didn't care. They ripped out their optics or tore their own hands to let them grab their faces as they all charged in a flood of undead. They all rampaged at Jack O'Donnell, yet he didn't flinch.

Maybe… because a mystical Glass Barrier made out of Rainbow Reflection suddenly appeared in front of him.

"HOLY BARRIER – MIRROR FORCE!"

That Armor Zombie struck out its katana, hitting the barrier dead on.

… The magical shield collapsed, shattering into pieces… only for a carpet bombing of Rainbow Light flushing down across the Zombie Horde with the fury of a Magical C-130.

The creatures of the cemetery let out screams of terror and madness, their bodies blown up bit by bit as if caught in a stream of 10 gatling guns in a Calvary charge.

Holy Barrier – Mirror Force. On the commence of battle, destroy all Opponent's monster in Attack Mode.

All Zombie Monsters were attacking… therefore.

"Your next line is 'you will rue this day, Duelist!' – GYAAA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAAA!"

"…. Uwa-uwa-uwa. This Mr. Zombie is even more frightening than an Army of the Dead."


	26. CASTLE GRAVE

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=26=**  
 _ **'Castle in the Grave'**_

* * *

Jack O'Donnell eradicated the Zombie Apocolypse with the power of Holy Barrier – Mirror Force…

… but this was the beginning of the True Nightmare Parade.

"… Oh… sh*t…"

"… M…mommy…"

Jack O'Donnell and Silent Magician Lv 4 were looking up at the sky, because a giant shadow looing over them caught their attention.

The sky had darkened completely, pitch black and lifeless.

To sum up – they were staring up the bottom of a floating rock..

… With a giant demonic castle sitting on top like a floating platform.

"O-oi. Isn't that… what I think it is?"

"… Laputa?"

"… No…Worse."

The castle in the dark sky floated above the city graveyard, filling the entire grond with nothing but lifeless shadow and despairing darkness. It had hundreds of towers made from the spines of dragons and decorated with the hands of skeleton and zombies.

A giant wall-like ring protected the entire structure, carrying a large symbol on the front written in Chinese Charatcer for Darkness.

Level 4 Monster Dark Fiend-Type Monster…. Castle of Dark Illusion.

"… Run… Run… I SAID RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

"UGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Jack O'Donnell picked up Silent Magician Lv 4 like a handbag once more and bolted – in time to avoid flesh-eating rock flying down on them.

Like a meteor shower, the monsterous rocks came crashing down across the cemetary, shattering gravestones and ripping open graves everywhere. Jack did his best to weave through the tombstones as cover, offering a small prayer of forgiveness in using their bodies as a shield for his escape.

The boy chanced to glimpse over his shoulder… and paled.

The meteors of flesh-eating rock were not just for show… they began to infect the bodies of various corpses, notably the burnt ashes left behind from the Zombie monsters eradicated by Holy Barrier – Mirror Force.

"W-wait! Mr. Zombie! Mr. Zombie! Didn't you use a holy rain attack to destroy them! H-how come that castle is still alive!?"

"… Mirror Force destroys the monsters in attack position already on the field… it's useless against a monster that is summoned in the next turn after the effects are used… plus – monsters in defense mode are immune to the text command!"

Mirror Barrier – destroys all monsters in 'attack position'. Attack position.

The text did not include monsters in 'Defense' Position. That would be an entirely different Trap Card.

And Jack was right… If you kill an animal with only one bullet left, how can the second animal be killed? And if that second animal was a lion, p*ssed off how you stole its kill, it would definitely be coming at your with great vengeance and furious anger.

"I really, really don't want to do the math right now."

"D-don't drop me pleaaaaaaaase!"

So, Jack O'Donnell and Silent Magician Lv 4 were back to square one.

Back up in a tree surrounded by hordes of newly revived Zombie and Fiend Monsters.

"We're screwed, Sadako. So accept your fate."

"No! I don't want a short life while I'm still small! At least let me grow up to have a big and lovely chest like a mature woman!"

"…"

"… D-don't look at me like that, you sick Zombie."

"HUMAN!"


	27. THREE CRUSH

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=27=**  
 _ **'Three Times a Crush'**_

* * *

The level 4 Castle of Dark Illusions did something to change the flow of battle.

"Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!"

Every time, Jack O'Donnell cursed, the Level 4 Fiend Monster used a Magic Card from its Arcane Collection.

Shallow Grave: Both players select a monster from their graveyard and Special Summon it on the Field in face-down Defense position.

"Tch. Since the start the battle that stupid Castle lost all of its Zombie monster in one move, while we lost none. The advantages are in its favor… Hmph, Clever Girl."

"…. Do you really think a castle can have a gender?"

If the Castle of Dark Illusion could speak like Silent Magician Lv 4 – it would have filed a lawsuit for discrimination against all castles. Thank goodness it couldn't (oops).

The Second Spell Card – Mystic Plasma Zone.

"Wh-whoa, whoa, whoa! HIT THE DIRT!"

"UGYAAAAAAAAAH!"

Jack O'Donnell tackled into Silent Magician Lv 4 into the ground – in time to avoid a giant strike of Plasmic Lightning slashing down from the sky. What used to be a clear night sky bathed in red, was instantly choked and drowned with thick black clouds that brewed not lightning –but plasmic flicker.

The ferocity and savageness of a corona flare.

A thick column of concentrated Plasma struck the ground ignited the entire cementary and firing mythic sparks all over.

The Zombies that were revived began to rise, becoming bigger, possessing more rotten flsh and rusted armor for protection, their dead clubs and irons swords thickening to become iron maces and chipped battle axe.

"Sh*t! They're powering up!"

"W-wait! I-if they the lightning can charge them up, wouldn't that make me stronger… SILENT PUL—"

"NO YOU IDIOT! DON'T SHOOT, READ THE CARD TEXT FIRST!"

Mystic Plasma Zone: Increase the attack of all Dark-attribute monsters by 500 points.

(That) Armored Zombie – ATK 1500 + 500 = 2000

Clown Zombie – ATK 1350 + 500 = 1850

Dragon Zombie – ATK 1600 + 500 = 2100

… Silent Magician Lv 4 – ATK 1000 + 0 = 1000

Out of all the other monsters on the field, Silent Magician was the only Light Monster.

Following the Law of Card Text – she's kicked out of the circle.

"… E-even if this was planned to help the enemy, I can't help but feel so lonely… *Sniff*."

"… Do you happen to have the Field Card Luminous Spark stuffed in your blouse?"

"….. No….. *Sniff*."

Then the enemy played their third Spell Card.

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

"What, what, what!?"

"GOD-D*MN IT ALL, WHY CALL OF THE MUMMY!?"

"WHAT IS THAT SPELL EXACTLYYYYYYYYYYY!?"

Call of the Mummy, a Continuous Class Spell Card. Once activated, you can Special Summon a Zombie Monster every turn.

In a system that does not have a turn-based procedure – it means each second it's the turn in itself. If you compare it to a certain Empire of Ages strategy game – Zombies are being Special Summoned Left and Right in Real Time.

"… Ha-ha-ha…-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu…"

"M-Mr. Zombie, you're smiling like a pervert… You're scaring me."

"Can't be helped, I just thought of an incredible evil idea – MYSTICAL SPACE TYPHOON!"

There it is! The Card to Turn the Tables in this impossible situation!

Mystical Space Typhoon – Target one active Spell or Trap card on the field and—

"GET WRECKED SUCKERSSSSSSSSS! KYAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAAAAA!"

"…. M-Mr. Zombie… What's Magic Drain?"

"HOLY SH************************T!"

The Castle of Dark Illusions counter-attacks by activating a Trap Card in its arsenal.

Magic Drain – By discarding one card from your hand, negate the effects of a Spell Card.

"…. Mr. Zombie… Do you have any other life-saving tricks up your sleeve?"

"… No."

"So… we run?"

"Yes."

"… I… I can't move my legs… could you please take me with you again?"

"… Sure. I've got nothing better to do."

"Thank y-UWEEEE!?"

Before Silent Magician Lv 4 could properly thank her hero, Jack O'Donnell picked her up over her head as if he was wading through a river and trying not to get his handbag wet, and bolted away – an uber power Zombie Apocolypse snapping at their heels.

"HACKER! HACKER! HACKER! HACKER! HACKER! HACKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

"P-PLEASE DON'T DROP MEEEEEEEEEEE!"


	28. COPY CATFIGHT

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=28=**  
 _ **'Copy-Catfight'**_

* * *

On the other side of the coin, how can we forget our lovable heroine and her little helper.

"Did Master get lost again… Maybe I should have brought along one of those baby safety while I was at the local shop. That way, he won't stray off too far."

"….. I see. So the level of intelligence does not normally corresponde to the level of stars each Monster possess, huh? So I wonder me being Level 3 means I'm smarter than that Level 6 b*tch. Tch."

Dark Magician Alice and Magician of Faith could be found in one corner of the Graveyard. Based on how casual their conversation was, without any sense of Battle Tendency, Phantom Blood Urges, or even so much as a Stardust Crusade – it means they were enjoying a moment of piece and quiet.

No Zombie Apocalypse on this side of the world.

"Seriously, where did Master run off to? I really want him to take me home, tell his mother that I followed him, and hear that he wants to keep me… Kyaaa! I can't wait to take part in the all-await shower scene and share the same warm bed with Master! Eeeeeeeh!"

"Shout and yap all your want in being an obsessed fan-girl, blondie. The second he comes back, I'll repay my debt by punching his face in and I'll go back home to my library that you ruined… Tch. Honestly, what possessed me to follow you idiots."

"…. My name is Alice. It's not Blondie, little one."

"And it's Faith to you, Blond—GUUUKKGGG!?"

Before Magician of Faith knew it…. Dark Magician Girl… was strangling her!?

"Wh-what are you—"

"Let me hear your squeal, b*tch."

Magician of Faith ended up being slammed into the ground, a foot covered in a magician's boot stomping on her stomach, knocking the wind out of the Level 3 Spellcaster.

"Geeehkk – Wh-what?"

"I'm fed up with your yapping, sh*tty brat? So turn into the dust under my feet."

"Y-you… I-I'll kill you."

"Haaaaaaaanh? What was that, flat chest? I can't hear you from all of your gurgling… also, it's difficult to listen to you clearly with my heavy chest bouncing around with lovely sounds."

"YOU F**KING B****************TCH!"

Magician of Faith reached for her fallen staff, clutching it, and aimed to fire a magical blast. A bolt of hot boiling energy leapt from her magic weapon and it dove straight for Dark Magician Girl's face.

"Strike – Out."

"Wh-what? I-impossible!"

"Didn't you do your homework like Master told you… You're power is 300 points…"

Dark Magician Girl (?) caught the bolt of hot energy in her hand… and squashed it under her fingers as if it were a tomato, splatting its remains all over Magician of Faith as if blood. A warm up for the real show.

And the Level 6 Spellcaster whipped out her scepter, flaring up a large black sphere of magical energy the size of certain Beetle-Car.

"How do you like me now. Maybe if you beg and offer me your body, I might consider—"

"Excuse me Miss Imposter, please get your dirty foot off of that child."

"Heh?"

 ***WHAM!***

"…. Aaaaaaahh… M...my preciouuuuuuuussssss!"

… Confused? So is this narrator. So let's rewind.

Dark Magician Girl suddenly and savagely attacked Magician of Faith, making it a complete one-sided massacre. Just as she as about to deal the finishing blow—

"Atemi."

"GUWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

—Dark Magician Girl drop-kicked Dark Magician Girl (?) in the crotch.

"YOU B*****************TCH – UWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

"… Take off that mask, heathen."

The… 'bad girl' Dark Magician Girl keeled over, shrived up even harder than a shrimp out of water, crying her guts out while holding her center.

And then it happened.

"… OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! YOU'RE A GUY!"

"N-NOOOO, LITTLE ONE! IT'S COPYCAT! CAN'T YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE!?"

Magician of Faith watched in horror at the quivering Dark Magician Girl suddenly lose its disguise like a scanner and turned into a clown-themed mage – holding onto his family jewels.

A fake. A Doppelganger.

Level 1 Spellcaster – Copy Cat.

It's special effects: Select on card on the field and raise its ATK and DEF equal to the power of the target monster.

If Blue Eyes White Dragon was on the field, Copy Cat can acquire the power of Blue-Eyes White Dragon.

If Dark Magician Girl was on the field, Copy Cat can gain the ATK and DEF of Dark Magician Girl… in this reality it was essentially no different than posing as that target person.

"Y-you b*tch! I-I'll cut your body up for what you did to –guuuh – m-my precious!"

Copycat struggled to his feet, his face covered by a magical mirror held in front of it with one hand, his other and cradling his well – universal weakspot.

Magician of Faith couldn't believe what she was seeing. She looked at Copy Cat, then at Dark Magician Girl Alice (true), back to the enemy, then to her ally. She ended up screaming at her ally.

"You almost raped me!"

"I WAS AT THE BATHROOM WHEN HE WAS ATTACKING YOU!"

"I DON'T CARE – KILL HIM!"

"BLACK BURNING!"

Copycat had his face covered with a mirror, but if he did allow his lips to show a small grin. Using his Special Effects, he immediately acquired the power of Dark Magician Girl, even morphing his entire body to look exactly like her.

"BLACK BURNING!"

Magician of Faith watched as both Dark Magicial Girl (true and false) fired their black magic at one another, both astral bullets colliding into each other and cancelling out like sound waves of equal frequency.

"Kee-kee-kee-kee-kee! Try as you might you little wench! So long as I have your power – you can't ever hope to beat me! KYAAA-HAAA-HAAAA! SO SURRENDER YOUR HOT BODY TO MEEEEE!"

"Okay."

"… Heh?"

Magician of Faith made that small sound when she thought she was hearing things.

Dark Magician Girl, Jack O'Donnell's Alice…. Was willing to give up and loan this sick monster her body?

"…. For Realz?"

"Psyche."

"SH*T!"

In this moment, Dark Magician Girl found the opening she needed and closed the 5 meter gap between them with a single step.

"ORA!"

"GUBOOOOOOOFFFFFFF!?"

Dark Magician Girl swept up a fist and slammed it into the fake Dark Magician Girl's gut, shattering one lung.

"ORA!"

The Spellcaster Girl threw a Left Hook into the Copycat's side, shattering all of his ribs to make him spit blood.

"ORA! ORA! ORA!"

Jack O'Donnell's Alice continued to slam one punch after another all over the fake Dark Magician Girl – the face, chest, throat, shoulder, heart, back, spine, solar plexus, pelvic region, hip, thigh, calf, forearm, and every other parts of the body she could land her two small fists into.

"ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA! ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA! ORAAAAAAAAA! -ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA—oooooOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"TACOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!?"

Giving off a weird sound, the last blow punched Copy Cat out of its Mimic Magic and dissolved the fake shell of Dark Magician Girl. He ended up grinding across the ground and fell into a hole—

-a freshly dug out grave. Convenient.

"One questions… How did you know about my desire to experience a bath scene and share a warm bed with Master?"

"G-guuuuuuh… S-ssorry…Wh-while I was memorizing your body, I overheard you ranting in the ladies bathroom."

"YOU GOD-D*MN PEEPING TOM! DIE!"

"SPARKLIIIIIIIIIING!?"

With one beautiful (killer) stomp, Copy Cat was permanently buried in the newly dug out grave. Requiescat in pace.

"… Tch. Your Judgement… I will be the one to deal it for-"

"… A…aaah."

"Don't pull on my skirt, little one. You'll ruin my moment to look cool in the spotlight for Master."

"Gg-g—g-g—g-g—g-gg-g-ggiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

"If you need to go to the washroom, it's down the left road and past the cremation hall, you can't miss—"

"GII!"

"…Hmm? …. Ah."

When Dark Magician Girl Alice turned to see what was Magician of Faith so worked up about…. She was completely oblivious her skirt was yanked off when the latter tugged at it too hard to finally get her attention.

"….. Looks like we have to use, Master's Secret Technique. Our last resort option."

"STOP PRETENDING TO BE COOL – AND RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

"UGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The next thing anyone knew, both Spellcasters ran faster than the wind – a full service Zombie Apocalypse horde chasing after their skirts.

"WHY ARE ALL MEN SUCH PERVERTS EVEN WHEN THEY'RE DEAAAAAAAAAAAAD!? M-MASTEEEEER! WHERE ARE YOUUUUU!?"


	29. SILENT GROWTH

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=29=**  
 _ **'Silent Growth'**_

* * *

"… M-Mr. Zombie… Am I alive?"

"… Yup. You're still here alright."

"WH-WHY DID YOU HAVE TO POKE ME IN THE CHEST TO VERIFY THAT!?"

Silent Magician Lv 4 did something really smart, but doing something really stupid.

The Level 4 Spellcaster with an ATK of 1000 attacked That Armored Zombie with an ATK of 2000 – out of sheer panic.

In a normal battle 1000 is less than 2000 (Destruction)….

… Yet it was That Armored Zombie who was now melting from Silent Magician Lv 4's Silent Pulse attack.

"H-hold the bus. That can't be possible! No matter how many times you do the math, you're ATK is still 1000 there is no way…. Oi… Did you grow out your hair?"

"… Wh-why does the floor look lower than before… D-d-did I grow taller!?"

Somethings changed in Silent Magician Lv 4. Somehow, she became was most people would classify as 130 cm tall… now, she was 155 cm by height, her robes stretched longer, more elaborate, and her hair increased its length to beautiful fringes.

… it's as if she has a growth spurt.

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!? I'M AN IDIOT! I FORGOT ABOUT YOUR SPECIAL EFFECT!"

"….My what?"

Level 4 Spellcaster, Silent Magician Lv 4: Whenever you opponent draws a card, increase her base ATK by 500 for each card drawn.

The enemy Level 4 Castle of Dark Illusion drew three cards: Shallow Grave – Mystic Plasma Zone – Call of the Mummy.

The Trap Card Magic Drain was set prior along with the Castle of Dark Illusion's appearance. Unfortunately that didn't count as part of the draw.

"…. 1000… 1500… 2000… 2500… OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD! IT'S OVER 9000!"

"EVEN A LEVEL 4 SPELLCASTER LIKE ME KNOWS THE TOTAL IS 3000!"

To sum up, Silent Magician Lv 4 had become stronger, taller, and…

"… P… Paradise…"

Had grown in the one area she had always dreamed off. No, now one would dare call her flat-top anymore.

"So happy."

"… DON'T JUST STAND THERE DAY DREAMING – SHOOT THE F**KERS!"

"… Oh right…S-SILENT PULSE! SILENT PULSE! SILENT PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULSE!"

Silent Magician Lv 4 started to mow down the Zombie horde with the spirit of a Machine Gun Nest on the beaches of Normandy (too much?). Like armor-piercing bullets lighting up the night sky, the Spellcaster's Magical white flares sparkled in the air to rip apart the walls and walls of zombie.

Rotten Flesh, Shattered Armor, and Dismember Limbs all went flying every where like a Death Para—

"STOP NARRATING THE DETAILS! I'LL THROW UP!"

"OI, SADAKO! QUIT BREAKING THE FORTH WALL AND JUST GUN DOWN THE SUCKERS ALREADY! GUNG-HO! GUNG-HO! GUNG-HO!"

"Uuuuuuuh… that's not my name… Silent Pulse… Silent Pulse… Silent Puuuuull-hu-hu-hussse…"

In the calamity of mowing down the army of undead, a certain Spellcaster girl was weeping who now no one remembers her name.


	30. NET-OR-RARE

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=30=**  
 _ **'Net-Or-Rare'**_

* * *

"Master… who is she?"

"Oh sh*t."

To begin, Jack O'Donnell f**ked up.

It wasn't because Silent Magician Lv 4 was losing the battle even with her 3000 ATK.

It wasn't because of the Caste of Dark Illusion providing extra 200 ATK points to all of its Zombie Children Horde at every turn (second).

It wasn't because no matter how many time they blast away That Armored Zombie, he would still return from the pits that spawned it with the power of Call of the Mumy and continue to randomly slash its blade around.

The landmine he stepped one was much simpler.

 **Dark Magician Girl caught him Princess-carrying Silent Magician Lv 4.**

"….. Master… Don't tell me… that you went off to find another lady monster behind my back."

"…. F**k."

"YOU EVEN DID IT WITH HER!? KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

"H-HOLD THE BUS! NOT THAT F**K!"

Please keep in mind, Silent Magician Lv 4 was originally the size and frame of a little girl no older than 10. Due to her effects, gaining 500 ATK every time the enemy drew a card from the deck, she evolved into a lovely 17 year old teen-aged woman with splendidly long hair.

….. Even if she was Level 4, she bore a similar level of cuteness, attraction, and voluptuous curves as a certain Dark Magician Girl.

Hence, the upcoming Yandere expression Alice had.

 _(Sh*t. This is really bad. Being caught with another girl like Silent Magician Lv 4 is worse than being dogpiled by a horde of zombies… And no matter what, I can not, will not, and do not say_ 'let me explain' _or this whole thing will blow up harder than a nuclear bomb! Darn it aaaaall!)  
_

Jack O'Donnell made the necessary calculations in his head, keeping his internal cards close to his chest. In the middle of a Zombie Apocalypse, he was figuring out the ultimate puzzle known to mankind—

— **How to best tell the heroine that he wasn't cheating!**

"… Alice! What are you doing here!?"

"H-heh? S-such a serious face Master? A-Are we in the middle of combat?"

"Of course! Why do you think I recruited this Silent Magician Lv 4!? With her Special Effects in increasing her ATK by 500 for every card drawn by the enemy, we have a chance to survive and break the stereotypical conclusion of 'always losing in a zombie Apocalypse'!"

"Oooooh! So that's what was happening! I-I'm so sorry Master for doubting you! I didn't think it far enough that this girl could be the key card in turning the battle around! P-please forgive me, Master."

"YES! *Cough* I mean: yes, you are forgiven. Now head up into the Frontlines and beat the sh*t out of those undead suckers."

"Aye, siiiiiiiiiiiiiiir!"

And Dark Magician Girl happily floated off into the battlefield, waving around her magician scepter around to shower a flurry of Black Burning Magic.

"…. Ye'gawds, I'm a f**king genius."

"… Mr. Zombie… that was terrible of you, lying to that sweet girl. She wholeheartedly believed you."

"Better than getting b*tch slapped in the face by walking magic tank."

"... Mmm... Thank you..."

"Hah?"

Jack O'Donnell snapped out of his deluded victory, when he saw how Silent Magician Lv 4 was fidgeting in his arms (Princess Carry). She shyly looked away, her face all red, and she wriggled her long legs with an embarrassed aura.

"E-even when the Zombie hordes surrounded us, you still supported me... Y...you were very gentle... I.. I enjoyed it (the Princess Carry)"

"... Oi."

After a short pause, Magician of Faith came up right next to the boy with a flat expression.

"Be honest. You f****** her off stage didn't you?"

"THE F**K ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SH*T!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING PIECE OF SH*T, YOUR PIECE OF HUMAN SH*T!"

"K-kyaaa! M-Mr. Zombie! You-you're holding onto me too tight! M-my body is going to break!"

"OI! Don't go around throwing dangerous words at a time like—"

"MASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

Before Jack O'Donnell could turn the dangerous situation around, he was hoisted into the air by Dark Magician Girl. Her face was filled with twisted anger, flooded with maidenly tears, and was god-d*mn p*ssed off.

"HOW DARE YOU TRIPLE TIME ON MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!?"

"W-wait! Alice! Let me explain!... SH*T!"

In this moment, Jack O'Donnell realized – he f**ked up big time!

And an exclusive Black Burning attack came crashing into his face.

"MASTER YOU IDIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!"

"BUGIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!?"

… In the mini-chaos within the Zombie Apocolypse, the innocent Silent Magician asked one simple question.

"… Mr. Zombie. What's f*****?"

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING—GUBYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"MASTER IS AN IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!"

"S-stop beating me in the face! My head can't take it anymore and it will explode… W-wait don't tell me this is the Ora-Ora thing!?"

Yes, yes, yes… Oh my goooood.

"PERVERT! LECHER! CASANOVA! NARCISSIST! WAIFU-CHEATER! NETORARE!"

"BUGF!? GEBUFF!? UGYAA! DARN IT ALL — LISTEN TO ME, ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!"

... If a Zombie Apocalypse isn't humanity's worse nightmare - it's definitely a p*ssed off maiden in love.


	31. BIG BANG THOR(y)

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=31=**  
 _ **'BIG BANG THOR!'**_

* * *

"… Oi. Are you all done squabbling yet."

"Y-yes. I'm sorry Master for misunderstanding you. Please punish me."

"Hey, don't look at me, heathen. I wasn't the one who bombed you with Black Magic to kingdom come."

"… Mr. Zombie… do you need help. I know First-Aid."

Jack O'Donnell, his face covered in soot, scars, and minor wounds inflicted by a certain Level 6 Spellcaster's magic attack – before he had a serious look furrowing his brow.

"it's time to make our final move, you guys finally ready?"

"Yes! Master! I'm right behind you!"

"Tch. Don't come crying to me when sh*t hits the fan."

"A-aye sir! Mr. Zombie, sir! I-I'm r-ready.. uwa-uwa-uwa."

The field was set. Jack O'Donnell summoned Dark Magician Girl, Magician of Faith, and Silent Magician Lv 4 onto the battleground. While Castle of Dark Illusion had summoned 100+ Zombies and Fiends such as Dragon Zombie, Clown Zombie, Baron of the Fiend Sword, Dark Sorcerer of Doom, and even That Armored Zombie.

Both parties were ready to rage war – Zombie Apocolypse Deck versus Spellcaster Deck!

Who will win!

"My turn – DRAW!"

Jack O'Donnell made his first move in the final round, pull his hand from his wrist as if drawing a card from an invisible deck holder.

… In his hand, was a real card… a Duel Monster Card… A Spell Card.

"I activate Spell Card – Big Bang Shot!"

Big Bang Shot – an Equip-Class Spell Card that increases the attack of the equipped monster by 400 points AND deals Piercing Damage through the enemy's defense points.

"H-heh? M-Master! When did you collect such a powerful spell?"

"Mmm. Believe or not, it came with one of the Onigiris you bought some time ago. Turns out the food company was a sponsor for Duel Monsters and was dealing a Promotional Package… Clever Girl."

"M-Master. A shop can't be a girl, right?"

If Stores and Shops were real people, they would definitely sue for indiscrimination.

"My target monster is – DARK MAGICIAN GIRL!"

"… Hah?"

Magician of Faith let out a weird gasp sound as she watched magical flames bloom out of the air and surrounded Dark Magician Girl like a living Salamander of flame. With the mystic flames dancing all around the Level 6 Spellcaster her power went up to 2400 ATK.

"I HAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

"Hold up! Heathen, wouldn't it be a no brainer to give that Spell to the White Cow next to me? Isn't she already 3000 ATK Points!"

"You're Next Line is 'Im-impossible! It's over 3000!'"

"THE H*LL KIND OF MESSED UP REFERENCE ARE YOU MAKING!?"

Magician of Faith prepared a small action to smack her crescent moon sceptre across Jack O'Donnell's head… when she saw him draw out another actual card from his sleeve.

"NEXT SPELL – MAGICIAN'S UNITE!"

"HEH? D-DOUBLE SPELL? WHAT DOES THAT MEAAAAAAN!?"

Magician's Unite! – If the player has more than 2 Spellcasters on the field, they can target one Spellcaster and increase their attack to 3000 points within one turn!

"A-again! That makes zero sense! Play normally, heathen!?"

"The power bonus from Big Bang Shot isn't what I want – it's is Piercing Effects I need for what I'm about to do! And the person I target is… Magician of Faith's next door neighbor, DARK MAGICIAN GIRL AGAIN!"

"Kyaaaaaa! I love you Masteeeeeeer!"

"… I'll f**king kill you for dashing my hopes like that."

A shining light pierce through the dark clouds and crashed down to earth, swallowing up Dark Magician Girl in all her beautiful glory. Her Mage's armor evolved and grew, turning into elaborate Crystal Plates and glowing headfeathers – the spitting image of a dancing Valkyrie. Her Sceptre even transformed into a spear of spinning lightning.

"As part of the Spell's requirement, both Dark Magician Girl and Magician of Faith are considered as one unit until the end of the turn!"

"… Heh?"

Before Magician of Faith knew it, Dark Magician Girl (Valkyrie) dropped down to take the Level 3 Spellcaster by the hand – the power from her body transferring over to the Level 3 Spellcaster.

The magical lightning from Dark Magician Girl's armor leapt from her and coiled around Magician of Faith, turning her robes into a Greek War Tunic and shapeshifted her crescent moon staff into the spear of Hermes.

"… Ha… ha…ha…KYAAAA-HAAAA-HAAAA-HAAAA! NOW I AM THE MASTEEEEEER!"

Lightning danced all over the sky as Dark Magician Girl and Magician of Faith gave an evil laughter (as holy heroines)… making the poor Silent Magician Lv 4 who resembled more of a 17 year old teenager shaking on the verge of tears.

"… So scary."

Then, Jack O'Donnell made his critical move that will change everything.

"I SET A FACE-DOWN CARD IN DEFENSE POSITION!"

"KYAAAAA-HAA-HAAA-HAAAAA! PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER—Heh? What?—GUBYAAAAAAAH!"

Jack O'Donnell set Magician of Faith onto the field = slammed the girl into the ground face first.

Dark Magician Girl in her Valkyrie armor hovered down, preparing to throw her Bolt of Lightning at the enemy… completely oblivious to Magician of Faith thrashing about.

"Master, I don't want to make you upset, but the enemy is beyond 4000 attack points right now from the power of the Mystica Plasma Zone Field Spell and the Castle of Dark Illusion's power… What should we do?"

"Simple… use it's toys against them…. I FLIP SUMMON MY CARD, MAGICIAN OF FAITH!"

"Gyuuuuuuuuh."

Magician of Faith made a weird noise when she was pull up from the ground to dangle like a dirty towel. At the same time, a magical catd appeared from beneath her and it floated into Jack O'Donnell's hand.

"… Oi… Laputa in the Sky… Thanks for the Key Card."

The Castle of Dark Illusion couldn't speak. If it did, it would have been something like 'did you hit your head boy?'

"Sword of Sealing Light."

… If the Castle of Dark illusion could speak – it would have swore worse than a drunk cussing Sailor.

"That's right... that's your card flying brick house. It's the same card that you personally discarded when you used the Trap Card Magic Drain... So, let me hear you go 'squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!'"

Sword of Sealing: once activated, turn all of your opponent's monsters into face-down defense positions until the end of the 2nd Standby Phase this card was activated.

… Turn all monsters… into Face-down Defense position…

…Defense Positin…Zombies.

Everyone knows Zombie Monsters have 0 Defense Points.

And so—

"HOLY SH*********************T!"

Magician of Faith watched in sheer horror as all the Zombies and Fiends on the field were suddenly slammed into the ground, as if Gravity decided to pick on them, and even grounded the massive flying Castle of Dark Illusion as if someone turned off it's levitation generator.

Sitting ducks, all of them.

"ALICE! FIFI! SICK'EM!"

"BLACK BURNING!"

"M-MOONLIGHT CUTTER!"

Dark Magician Girl and Magician of Faith were considered as one Spellcasting Unit, both combined to wield the power of 3000 ATK Points – a frightening rival to Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Their merged magical attacks blended in like a force of billowing lightning and it surged across the ground like an orbital laser cannon.

It wiped out all of the Zombies stuck to the floor, completely defenseless with their Zero Defense Points. Dragon Zombie, Clown Zombie, even That Armored Zombie were wiped off from the face of the planet like a brush to a chalk board.

"… What are you waiting for, Sadako?"

"… H-heh? M-me?"

"Finish it."

"…. Y… Yes, Mr. Zombie."

"Good Grief."

With a small smile, Jack O'Donnell watched as the 17 year old looking Silent Magician Lv 4 spun around her magical staff, her eyes gleaming with silent pride and justice, and she casted the finishing blow.

"SILENT PULSE!"

A white bolt of magical energy screamed out with a gale-like force, colliding straight into the grounded Castle of Illusion.

3000 ATK vs 1950 DEF. Even with all the power up bonuses… the match was decided.

And Silent Magician Lv 4 punched a hole directly through the ring that carried the Kanji for 'DARKNESS' as if a bull's eye.

 **Castle of Dark Illusion** — **DEFEATED!**

"... Heh? Eh!? W-wait! Wh-why is my body shrinking! M-my hair is going shorter! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My-my-my chest is flatteniiiiiiiiiiiiiiing! No-no-no-no-no-no-nooooooooo-hooo-hoooooo-hooooooooo! Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"… Sorry Sadako… but once a duel is over, everything is returned back to normal… Meaning your effects are no longer in play… you're back to being 1000 ATK points."

"I refuse to accept this! G-give me back my adult body! I want it! The big round soft globes that I can carry with pride! Long legs and long beautiful hair! I-I don't want to be seen as a child any mooooooooore!"

"… You can't take it with you."

"I'M NOT A GHOST! I'M A SILENT MAGICIAAAAAAAAAAAAAN...UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The sun had broken through the dark clouds. The bitter darkness was melted away, to give rise to dawn. The rays of the heavenly light shone down back on the cemetery, bring back the peace it deserved…

… All the while Silent Magician Lv 4 crying like a 10 year old girl who lost her beautiful dream.

"… Next time, when the enemy draws a card, you'll grow up again."

And that was the end, of Jack's Bizarre Adventures of Duel.

"*Sniff* *Sniff*… Wait. Mr. Zombie. H-how did you get that extra Spell? Magician's Unite?"

"Hm? Oh, that. Well, I kind of found it on your body when when I picked you up to run from the Zombie Horde. It happened to have fell out of your blouse so I took it and, oh sh*t."

"….. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. Mr. Zombie… how could you do that to my body~~~. H-how do you expect me to marry noooooow?"

"Now listen, I didn't—"

"Masteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer, you Two-timing Lecheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!"

"H-hold up, Alice, I can explain – HOLY SH*******************************T!"

And the circle (chaos) was complete. All's well that end's well.

"… M-Miss Fifi, Miss Fifi. Should we stop the other girl from breaking Mr. Zombie?"

"My name is Faith, silent brat. The heathen deserves what he gets for smashing my face into the ground as some kind of messed up running gag. Sow what you reap jack*ss."

"Uwa-uwa-uwa. So scary."

"IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOOOOOOOOOT!"

"NO! WAIT! SWEET ALICE! I-IT'S A COMPLETE MISTAKE! NOOOO—ANYTHING BUT THE ORA-ORA-THIIIIIIIIING! UGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Yes, yes, yes… Oh my god (facepalm)

...

...

 ** _=END TURN=_**


	32. READY STAGE ACTION (S2)

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=32=**  
 _ **'Reset. Stage. ACTION!'**_

* * *

"This is a god-d*mn nightmare…"

Jack O'Donnell was the first to wake up in this new situation. He didn't know how long he was out, but now he could see the burning sun shining down on his face.

By the time he fully woke up, he was caught in a trap that most men would consider the paradise of their dreams.

"Masteeeeer… Don't be so rough with me… be more gentle… Mu-mu-mu-mu…"

"Nnnn… D-don't touch them, they're still growing…"

"…Zzzz… ZZzz… Ha, ha, ha… Bow before your queen… lick my shadow and grovel at my glory… Zzz…zzz…zzz'

"Sh*t."

Jack O'Donnell was hugged closely by Dark Magician Girl Alice who treated him like a hugging pillow. His one arm happened to be sitting on top of a certain flat chest of Silent Magician Lv 4 Sadako. And somehow resting on his legs was none other than Magician of Faith Fifi.

Three powerful Duel Monsters. Three Beautiful Sleeping Girls.

One nightmare about to explode.

"Why god. Of all the times in the world – why am I in the dire need to use the bathroom."

Just like a protagonist who could not bring himself to waking the heroine that was sleeping on his lap – Jack O'Donnell lost this battle the moment it began.

The only thing he could do – was cry.

"Darn it all….. Darn it all…"


	33. MORNING BLESS

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=33=**  
 _ **'Morning Blessings'**_

* * *

"Good morning, Master! Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. It was h*ll."

"Hm? What?"

"... Never mind."

Dark Magician Girl Alice casually tilted her head to Jack O'Donnell's comment. It was well into the morning hour and she followed the boy through the city he lived in.

As much as sleeping out in a nearby park was a bad idea (if not very uncomfortable with all the creepy crawlers) it couldn't be helped.

"Even though we're on our 33rd Chapter, you still haven't told me where you live, Master. Are you trying to hide it from me?"

"Yes. My house is actually a bachelor pad where I keep all my lovely Monster Girls as maids that serve my beck and call night and day."

"...,...,...,...,...,... WHAT WAS THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?"

"OH SH*T! WRONG SARCASM!"

Before anyone knew it, Dark Magician Girl was already conducting her early morning exercises. Swinging her scepter around like a battle mace helped to work out the biceps in her arms, and the repeating stomps onto a certain pitiful meat bag also improved the curved shape her calves.

Such a healthy regime.

"S-STOP! M-MY RIBS ARE COMING APART! I-IF YOU KEEP KICKING ME LIKE THIS, I'LL DIE!"

"I – DON'T – CAAAAAAAAAAAAARE! YOU LECHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

"… Hey, little girl, shouldn't we stop her? Mr. Zombie might actually fall apart if she keeps beating him like this."

"The f**k is wrong with you brat. I may be a Level 3 monster, but I'm clearly taller than you by a head and a half!"

Silent Magician Lv 4 put on a worried face, while Magician of Faith spat to the side. They both watched the onslaught continued in the city streets with caring/uncaring eyes. If they didn't knew any better, they would have thought Dark Magician Girl was mugging Jack O'Donnell (obviously, that was not the case).

Magician of Faith groaned as she tapped her staff with the moon-crescent ornament across her shoulder, while Silent Magician fidgeted on the spot like a trapped bunny.

"When they've exhausted themselves, they'll eventually stop their little lover's spat."

"... I don't know why, but I feel that statement was loaded with a Double Entendre."

"Tch. Not my problem. The sooner the protagonist is out of the picture, the better chance I can become the Master Hero of this story."

"So cruel."


	34. ODD IN EYES

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=34=**  
 _ **'ODD EYES'**_

* * *

"Please help me, I'm lost."

"… Odd-Eyes?"

"THAT'S NOT MY NAME! IT'S FRANCESCO SILVINIA ALUCARD THE 29th! JUST BECAUSE MY EYES ARE A DIFFERENT COLOR – DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN USE IT AS A NICKNAME!"

Jack O'Donnell was lost. He wasn't physically lost, he knew his way around town. He wasn't even mentally lost, all of the necessary faculty were present in his cranium (although his grades….don't ask.)

It was a situational lost.

Because he was talking to Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon…

… Who resembled a young teen-aged girl wearing a Dragon-theme cosplay.

"… I don't get it. How come you don't look like your card art?"

"Are trying to pick a fight with me? Just what is wrong with the way I loo, haaah!?"

Jack O'Donnell gave the girl a look over. No matter how you look like it, this Duel Monster did not look like the peculiar Dragon with golden ornamental wings and possess the signature green and red eyes – hence Odd Eyes.

The Duel Monster really was a girl who looked no older than Sweet 16, wearing clothing that mimicked the art of the Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Art. Cosplay.

"Aren't you supposed to be a dragon?"

"Don't make me eat you, commoner!"

The boy took a moment to look behind him.

Level 6 Spellcaster, Dark Magician Girl Alice. She looked exactly like the figure in the card art, poster board, and Anime.

Level 4 Spellcaster, Silent Magician. She looked exactly like the figure in the card art, manga, and a certain movie.

Level 3 Spellcaster, Magician of Faith. She… kind of looked like the figure in the card art, not exactly popular in Manga and the Anime, and… her personality doesn't match her at all. Still, you get the picture.

"… I hate you people."

"Pipe down Fifi, I'm trying to deduce something here."

Silent Magician and Dark Magician Girl did their best to restraint a scorned Magician of Faith from gnashing a certain head off the shoulders, all the while Jack O'Donnell staring oddly at the Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Girl.

"….. I see. You're one of those FanArt Cards with an sexy-Anime girl style interpretation. Don't worry, it no shame to be alive like this."

"Please drop dead commoner."


	35. KEY DIRECTION

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=35=**  
 _ **'Direction is the Key'**_

* * *

"Odd-Eyes. Let me be straight with you. I'm only familiar with the First Generation Duel Monsters. Don't get me started on the Syncro Summon or the XYZ Powers. No amount of YuTub videos is going to make me understand the basic concept. In conclusion, I'm, not going to add you into my deck."

"Do you have some kind of fetish to be eaten by a real live dragon!? Just keep pushing my buttons and it'll come true buddy!"

"… Good grief."

"DON'T COOLY IGNORE ME!"

Jack O'Donnell rubbed his forehead to put down an annoying headache. As much as he wanted to walk away from his encounter with Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon girl, the latter just kept following him like a lost puppy wanting to find a nice warm home.

It seem she was really desperate for an Earthly Guide around the city. That, or she really, really need to go to the bathroom right now.

"H-how can you leave a beautiful damsel like me in distress. M-my bladder is about to explode so show me where I can… pay the water bill!"

"Hmm. Walk down Albkerki Road, hand a right on the Eleven-Seven. Then take the city escalators through the Ivan Polka Strip Mall, hang a left when you see a man in a Teddy Bear Mascot, then—"

"MASTER! Please have mercy! The girl is begging you on her knees with tears in her eyes by the time you said Albakerki!"

"M-Mr. Zombie. I-I don't mean to be rude b-but, she looks like she's going to have a herniatic rupture if you don't send her to the hospital. Ah… She's going into cardiac shock from the electrolyte imbalance!"

"… B#stard."

"ALRIGHT! I'LL HELP THIS POOR SUCKER! NOW QUIT KICKING ME INTO THE GROUND AND PICK ME UP!"

And so our protagonist steps up to become a hero.

"SHUT UP! OW!"


	36. FRIENDS ARE OOD

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=36=**  
 _ **'Friends are OOD'**_

* * *

"… You need what?"

"L-like I said… I-I'm too scared to go into public bathrooms alone... so... you know."

"Screw you Odd-Eyes. Screw you."

"FRANCESCA…. Please hurry. I-it's going to leak out…"

The protagonist story was utterly defeated. Why?

He had no choice but to bring Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon girl into the boy's bathroom to fix her problem… What? Are you really expecting he was going to go Tactical Insertion into the danger zone of a ladies bathroom.

This isn't just being branded as a pervert for the rest of his life – this is a felony.

"…. Hey Commoner. What's with those strange bowls hanging on the walls… Are those mints?"

"Ask me that question when you're reincarnated as a boy. And good god No, they're not mints. Don't even think about it."

After shoving Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon girl into one of the stalls in the men's washroom, Jack O'Donnell ended up hiding his embarrassed face inside the stall next door.

This… was too much for a highschool boy in his youth.

"Why God. Why are you putting me in this terrible situation? Do you really hate me?"

No, it's just fun to see you suffer.

"Why you—"

What Jack O'Donnell said next was instantly censored out by the sound of a stream falling into a pool.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah… Much better… Hm? Who are you?"

Then it happened.

"GET OUT OF MY STALL YOU GOD-D#MN PERVERT!"

"… Heh?"

Jack O'Donnell lifted up his weary head from his hands… completely alone in his own stall

Repeat: He was 100% Alone. Even the bathroom was empty save him and her.

"Oh sh—"

"ODD SPECTRUM!"

After hearing the sound of a gigaton laser beam firing next door - Old Ye Faithful Geyser cometh.


	37. BOOGIEPOP

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=37=**  
 _ **'THE SHINING'**_

* * *

"Did you p*ss off a ghost or something!?"

"This is the public bathroom! Don't make such crude jokes!"

Odd-Eye Pendulum Dragon Girl and Jack O'Donnell encountered a new enemy. That enemy appeared right in the stall where the Dragon Girl was. It had no sense of privacy, nor understood the bounds of personal space.

It just appeared and blew up the toilet in the public bathroom with a vengeance.

"Please tell me you flushed the toilet before it blew up."

"I'll eat you."

Odd-Eye Pendulum and Jack O'Donnell were forced several paces back. The old ye faithful geyser that was once a regular toilet kept firing water everywhere (don't worry, completely new water, nothing from the sewage, God bless).

An image emerged from the rain, taking shape under the gales of water that flooded the bathroom floors.

A doll. Not the cute type.

"… Oh sh*t. Of all the Duel Monsters possible… why her."

"C-commoner! Wh-what exactly is that thing!?"

"I won't blame you… you weren't conceived when the First Generation Monsters were born."

"Don't make me smack you."

A Level 8 Dark Monster. A Fiend Monster with a Vicsious Effect Power. ATK of 2200 and DEF of 2800.

Dark Necrofear.

"ODD-EYES! SICK HER!"

"THAT'S – NOT – MY – NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!"

Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Girl didn't care. She fired her gigaton Rainbow laser directly at the monster.

Her attack power was 2500. Dark Necrofear was 2200.

The victory was decided.

"BUGYAAAAH!"

"GUFFFFWOOOH!?"

Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon and Jack O'Donnell suddenly made weird noises… n-no, not in an erotic manner you perverts!

It's as if the wind decided to sucker punch them in the gut with the ferocity of Bruce Lee.

"TACOS!"

After making another weird noises… stop it!—The Dragon Girl and Normal Boy slammed through the doors of the public bathroom and into the lobby of a hotel (…not THAT hotel!)

"… What the h8ll happened?"

"You're the one who shot a f**king rainbow laser cannon, Odd-Eyes!"

As the two dragged themselves to their feet, Dark Necrofear quietly waltzed out of the bathroom it obliterated.

"… Wait, Dragon girl. Hold up! STOP!"

"ODD SPECTRUM!"

Once more the laser attack born from the belly of a rainbow lanced out to strike into the walking Fiend Doll. The same phenomenon occurred.

"GUBYAAH!?"

"DOGAAAN!?"

The hero and Duel monster were tossed aside like discarded tissue again.

"GOD-D*MN IT! SHE'S SET HERSELF IN DEFENSE MODE!"

"I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE BLABBERING ABOUT, COMMONER!"

Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon – ATK 2500.

Dark Necrofear – DEF 2800.

The math was simple.

"… We're screwed."

"OI! DON'T TURN TAIL AND RUN YOU F**KING PENDULUM LIZARD! GET BACK—Oh sh*t."

And Jack O'Donnell suddenly found himself fending off the Level 8 Fiend – lone cub.

"I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIIIIIIIIIIIS!"


	38. FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=38=**  
 _ **'Friendship is Magic'**_

* * *

"It's called a Straw, Sadako. Just put it in your mouth and suck up the sweet juices."

"*Sluuuurp*… Oooh! I-it has a minty flavour to it! So refreshing!"

"HEY, LEVEL 6 BLONDIE! Can't you teach a child how to drink Fruit Punch without making it sound like an innuendo!?"

Nearby in a certain mall were three lovely Spellcaster Girls. Level 6 Dark Magician Girl, Level 4 Silent Magician, and Level 3 Magician of Faith. They were relaxing around a lawn table in front of a café that specialized in mixed tropical juices.

Silent Magician Lv 4 happened to order their House Special – Hawaii Mint Plus.

"*Sluuuuurp*. So good. I can drink this sweet juice all day!"

"Keep it up ghost girl and your teeth will rot out."

"H-heh!? I-is this some kind of hidden poison!?"

Dark Magician Girl Alice kindly cleared the misunderstanding by slapping the back of Magician of Faith's head.

"I thought I heard a certain Level 3 Spellcaster about 'teaching children properly'?"

"I'm serious, blondie! This juice is three times too sweet! J-just one sip and it's already making me believe I'm about to become diabetic!"

"My name is Alice, Fifi, so treat this beautiful big sister with respect."

"B*tch."

Once more, Dark Magician Girl kindly corrected Magician of Faith's behaviour with a second slap to the head.

"BUGYAAAH! WH-WHY A THIRD TIME!?"

"… That wasn't me..."

"… Oh. It's that girl with weird eyes that Mr. Zombie ran into earlier. Hello."

Silent Magician Lv 4 was happily sipping on the sweet blended juice through a straw while sitting on a tall chair, letting her legs swing. They stopped swinging like a Pendulum when a certain Pendulum Monster appeared to run Magician of Faith over in a hurry.

"NO JUSTIIIIIIIIIIIICE!"

"… H…ha…ha…ha….haaaaa…Haaaaaaaaa!"

Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon girl wasn't laughing. Her expressions were the opposite of fun and laughter.

Fear, Terror, Horror, Macabre, Cthulhu Mythos. Mix them all up and you get the blank look on her face.

Dark Magician Girl tilted her head.

"Did a Crystal Beast Amethyst Cat slashed your tongue on the way here?"

"HE'S GONNA DIE!"

The moment Odd-Eyes said the word 'die', a pair of beautiful hands grabbed her by the collar. The Level 7 Pendulum Monster was hauled up to see a certain Level 6 Monster, face to face.

A killer gleam was in her eyes.

"… Where did you bury Master's body?"

"NOT ME! NOT ME! NOT ME! NOT ME! NOT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"…Then who?"

Odd-Eyes, a monster with ATK of 2500… lost her voice. She could only point off into one direction.

A large black explosion erupted from the lobby of a nearby hotel.

"….."

Losing her own voice, Dark Magician Girl Alice threw aside Odd-Eyes and ran.

"MASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"


	39. DEAD PARADE

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=39=**  
 _ **'NIGHTMARE PARADE'**_

* * *

"Your soul… offer it to me… please."

"Sh*t h8ll no."

Jack O'Donnell was instantly thrown aside. His body of a regular highschool boy who rarely does P.E. and spend more time studying than playing video games got slammed into a family van. Unfortunately, this was the type of model that passed the crash test with flying colors. The only dent present was the fracture in his spine.

"BBBGFFFF!"

He fell like a tossed cloth and just lied on the ground. He lost his power to move his limbs. And he could hear footsteps coming close.

Rather, they stopped right over him.

"Your soul… offer it to me... please."

"Wh-what are you a broken record?"

The highschool boy tried to wriggle himself away. Normally in this situation, the bad guy would stop him by stepping on his body.

Dark Necrofear didn't seem to be that bad of a person.

"… Hold this… please."

Instead, she dropped the eerily glowing clay dall she normally carries in the card art. She did it like a rebellious teenage tossing her textbooks into the floor so she could fiddle with her smartphone and text her boyfriend(s)... wait, too much?

"UWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

The second the clay doll landed on Jack O'Donnell's back – he could have sworn the Moon landed on his spine.

The object was unbelievably heavy. It carried the same mass of a cargo container you normally find being transported onto the docks by a big*ss crane, yet it freely moved as if it were a regular toy.

It had an uncanny valley effect.

"… My back…"

Being only able to say those sad words, Jack O'Donnell gave up and keeled over.

"… Oops..."

Dark Necrofear wanted souls as an offering. It never thought about killing people… although, it never really thought farther than 'collecting' souls from the body. What happens after that, really wasn't something she paid much attention to.

Hence, why she made a strange and apologetic sound.

"Psyche."

Hence, why Jack O'Donnell passed out to pull off a surprise attack.

"JACK O'DONNELL – AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

"?-?-?"

The moment Dark Necrofear tilted its doll head – a cloud of white erupted everywhere. It billowed out in all directions and it came from a black funnel that spat out a huge concentration of white powder.

The ability to smother a fire.

A fire extinguisher.

"EVER HEARD OF ROCKET MAN, SUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

And the protagonist held onto it like a rocket-propelled floatation device.

 _ ***GONG!***_

"…. Aaaaah."

Jack O'Donnell made two sounds: one sickening and one upsetting. The sickening one was when he intentionally smashed his head into Dark Necrofear (classic headbutt flashbang maneuver). The second noise was when he realized his Attack Points were 0 and Dark Necrofear's Defense Points were 2800.

It's no different than smashing your head into a wall on purpose.

Ouch.

"… Ha… Ha… MY WIN!"

Still, Jack O'Donnell laughed off the pain as a self-defense mechanism, and tackled the Level 8 Monster over a hedge bush.

Dark Necrofear Incapacitated… until she got up to stare at the leaves caught in the valley of her porcelain chest.

"Ha-ha… No one… can beat me…"

Jack O'Donnell said those words… while his head was bleeding harder than a broken water fountain. Red covered his face, his scalp, and soaked his hair. Even so, he was smiling as he casually walked off the battlefield like a foolish idiot.

"Ha-ha… Now I can live another day… go to college… find a job… buy… a… ring… and… propose… to… A….A…Alice…"

The boy fell over like a dead log…

… Right into the warm arms of Dark Magician Girl, Alice.

"… Master."

Tears rained under a clear day… and a storm billowed under the blazing sun.

"I won't forgive you."

Her Attack was only 2000. She would only get hurt.

"I – WON'T – EVER – FORGIVE – YOU!"

Let the roar of a heart-broken maiden shake the heavens.

"BLACK BURNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!"


	40. STALEMATE PLAN

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=40=**  
 _ **'STALEMATE PLAN'**_

* * *

"What are you two standing around for!? Go and get that doll freak!"

"I-I'm sorry Miss Odd-Eyes. I-I only have an attack power of 1000 points. I-I'm completely outclassed!"

"… The h*ll are you looking at me for, screw-eyes? If Ghost girl can't do squat, there's no point in asking me anything."

Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Girl frowned when she looked at Silent Magician Lv 4 and Magician of Faith. It couldn't be helped, the two monsters who followed Jack O'Donnell were a Level 4 and Level 3 monster. Even their combined attack power were no more than 1300.

There was no way they could pierce through the enemy defense power of 2800.

"A-at least do something! As much as I admire that Spellcaster's ferocity, she's taking a huge pummeling herself!"

The second Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Girl said that – a certain Dark Magician Girl went flying behind her.

"GUBYAAAAAAH!"

Alice was thrown into a convenience store, obliterating the entire glass front. The stalls, machine, and the shelves inside were knocked over by her flight until she screeched to a painful stop into a section that solder fish and fish tanks.

It soaked her to the core… but that wasn't what made her angry.

"I'LL TEAR YOU LIMP FOR LIMP FOR EVER BLOOD DROP YOU STOLE FROM MASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

Even when she was significantly damaged, Dark Magician Girl picked herself up and continued her maidenly rage. She didn't care if the enemy defenses were higher, faster, or stronger than her own might.

Rather, this wasn't even a fight for victory anymore. Neither was it for survival.

"I – WILL – AVENGE – MASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

"Uwooooooh! Sh-she got thrown into the fountain monument again! We have to do something… Why are you both staring at me!?"

"We have an idea!"

For once, Silent Magician Lv 4 and Magician of Faith recited that phrase in perfect sync… both possessing dangerous smiles.

"… Wh-why are you two looking at my body like perverts?"

Somehow, Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon.. had a bad feeling about this idea of theirs.


	41. SCREAMING MIMIS

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=40=**  
 _ **'SCREAMING MIMIs'**_

* * *

What was about to happen next would make the Duel Monster version of Animal Protection cringe, scream, and open a field day to smite all heathens.

"Wh-when the h*ll did you procure a human-sized cannon in a time frame of 10 seconds!"

"Stop squirming Pendulum girl! Or you'll mess up my aim!"

"P-please bear with us! We have to save the Magician Lady!"

Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon was found stuffed inside a cannon. Just like a certain Super David inside a circus gun and ready to launch.

Sadly due to production costs of this story, or the fact it was next to impossible to find out, Odd-Eyes was not given a safety helmet.

The Magician of Faith and the Silent Magician Lv 4 were about to fire when ready.

"Ghost girl! Begin firing sequence for the Death Starkiller 2009!"

"T-T minus One, two—

"W-wait! Wait! I have more Star Levels than both of you, so I should get a say in this ridiculous battle plan! This isn't going to work at all! I'll blow up and die!"

"—Ten. FIRE FOR EFFECT!"

"YOU SKIPPED THREE, FOUR, FIVE—UGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

And the sound of a beautiful howitzer echoed all over the city… followed by a scream of an incoming missile ready to explode.

"YOU HEATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENS!"


	42. SUPER DAVE(r)

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=42=**  
 _ **'SUPER DAVER**_

* * *

Dark Necrofear only wanted a soul to be sacrificed in her name. She didn't want a war, she didn't want a Yandere chasing after her, neither does she want to cause trouble.

But that doesn't mean she would like to see herself as a pushover.

"Offer your soul to me… please."

"GUAAAAAH!"

So she had proceeded to thrash around Dark Magician Girl when she unleashed her h*ll hath no fury than a woman scorned. Due to the Fiend's own defensive powers, it was easy to beat around a Level 6 Monster like Alice all day long.

Also, Dark Necrofear was excited to see the upcoming look of fear, terror, horror, all mixed together when she 'plays with' Dark Magician Girl's body some more.

"Your soul… smells delicious."

"… I… I'm sorry… Master."

Dark Necrofear wanted to touch Dark Magician Girl's soft skin. She wanted to trail her doll-fingers all over her shoulder, neck, and heart. She wanted to mark this girl.

Dark Necrofear… wanted Dark Magician Girl's beautiful body.

"I want it."

 _ ***WHAM!***_

"… Hmm?"

"Ah."

Dark Necrofear and Dark Magician Girl made two distinct sounds after they heard a ferocious crash-noise.

It was because a certain Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon girl was shot out of a circus cannon to smash into Dark Necrofear's shield wall.

There was no way such a maneuver could do anything to the Fiend's high defen—

 _ ***Crack* *Crack***_

"…."

Dark Necrofear could see her force-field, a thick layer of energy that was as tough as a diamond shell. It started to crack.

The second the lines grew another centimeter, it shattered completely.

"… How?"

The explanation for this phenomenon was very simple: Never underestimate the Power of Physics and the Three Laws of Newtonian Force.

Velocity + Mass = Artillery Shell.

Thank you Odd-Eyes for your sacrifice.

"… I'm… not dead… you… idiot… commoneeeers…..guh.…"

And our hero Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Girl passed out from her stunt.


	43. JOJO

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=43=**  
 _ **'GOING JOJO'**_

* * *

Now, to begin the counter attack.

"YOU DOLL B************TCH!"

Dark Magician Girl picked up her battered body and flung herself into Dark Necrofear. Now that the Fiend lost her Defense Shield, she was completely open to a nice thrashing.

"ORA!"

Dark Magician Girl swung her fist, making contact into Dark Necrofear's jaw. Her burning rage was so high, she completely forgot she had a sceptre she could have used as a club for extra damage.

However, with the twisted emotion she was feeling – anyone would want to beat the sh*t out of the bad guy with just their fist alone."

"ORA! Ora! oRA! Ra! Guraaah! Ora! OrA! Ora, ora, ORA, orA, Oraa! ORAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Dark Necrofear received the damage points, one fist to the face at a time. Rapid blows, flurry of blows, gatling blows, Judo-twisting blows, Krav Maga snapping blows, everything.

A normal monster would have either killed itself halfway to escape from the pain and terror, or just died after the first through punches. Viscous.

But there was something wrong.

"… Ku-hu."

Even when she was punched-to-death alive by heart-broken girl… she could still smile.

It p*ssed off Dark Magician Girl, so she shattered the Fiend's mouth with a hearty punch.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT YOU B*TCH!?"

The Spellcaster then launched the Fiend Monster into the air with one last uppercut under the chin. Any hard, and the necro-doll's head would have snapped off it's ball and socket joint neck.

… Yet, everyone on the field could hear… laughter…laughter…laughter.

"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!"

Dark Magician Girl ran. She swept up her magic sceptre, spun it around… and prepared to deal the final blow.

"BLACK BURNING!"

"… You're body… is mine… Please… Ku-hu-hu-hu."

"ALICE! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

Even when a certain voice told her to stop, the battle was already decided.

Dark Necrofear… eliminated.

"… I… win… please."


	44. JULIET cut ROMEO

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=45=**  
 _ **'JULIET slash ROMEO'**_

* * *

"…. Sh*t."

Jack O'Donnel was alive. After receiving the viscous blow to the head several chapters ago, he had been knocked out for a good few minutes. His memory was foggy, but his condition wasn't bad enough to be diagnosed with a Concussion… not yet anyways.

Despite living through such a killer ordeal of fighting a Level 8 Fiend Monster… he was not at all happy.

Rather, he was terrified but didn't dare to move from his spot. Even if Silent Magician Lv. 4 and Magician of Faith were pulling at his sleeves, he couldn't react to them. He forced himself to be a statue in this moment.

"M-Mr. Zombie! Y-you're alive! You're aliiiiiiiive!"

"What the h*ll were you doing!? We thought you kicked the can and left us defenseless girls to fight for ourselves. Shame on you!"

"… Sadako…. Fifi… Get back… I mean it."

"Heh?"

"Haaaaah?"

Silent Magician made a small innocent sound, while Magician of Faith gave the boy a sceptical look.

For once, Jack O'Donnell put on a super serious face. It meant, this was more than trouble.

One wrong move… and it would mean death.

"… Alice…"

"… Master… I've avenged you… are you proud of me?"

"Look at me."

Jack O'Donnell ignored everything else in the world. He only set his two eyes on Dark Magician Girl.

There was a change around her… rather, herself seemed to have changed. It's as if she experience a re-design in her Cart art, or a fan-artist giving her alternate colors.

The red neon around her clothing… somehow felt unsettling.

"Alice."

"Please marry me… Master."

Dark Magician Girl turned around – her eyes void of life. Only the color of neon red replaced the soft blue hue of her corneas. Her very pupils mimicking that of a cat… or a demon.

A beautiful smile crossed her lips.

"I want you to hold me… to keep me close to you… like a doll… by a warm fireplace… we'll have lots of kids… about 30 of them. They're all going to be named after you Master... Then... we'll do this and that all night~♥"  
 _(**Cuddling)_

"Alice. Don't move."

"What's wrong master? Don't you think I'm beautiful like this? Do you not love me?"

"Alice. Put down the sceptre."

"I want to give you my body… my heart… my soul… Please."

"Alice!"

Dark Magician Girl smiled… a trickle of red tears dripping from the corner of her eyes.

"… Those two children who won't stop clinging on to you… are such an Eyesore."

"SADAKO! FIFI! RUN!"

Jack O'Donnell just up and hauled Silent Magician Lv. 4 and Magician of Faith from their feet and hucked them like backpacks across the ground.

Just as a ball of flashing red black fire surged over the spots where they were standing not too long ago. Any slower… and they would have been sent to the grave yard.

"Master… please don't run away from me… I'm beautiful, no? Please… I beg of you… marry me."

"… Alice. You know better than anyone that I would have gone down on one knee without a second thought and offer you the biggest diamond anyone has every seen… But… It's pointless if there's someone using your body like some kind of god-d*mn suit!"

Jack O'Donnell turned to Dark Magician Girl… rather, he was looking at a faint image that lingered behind Dark Magician Girl.

A specter of a doll.

"Dark Necrofear… I'll make you pay for hurting Alice."

"… You both say useless things like that… You really are a match meant to be."

Dark Necrofear's special effect had activated the moment she was destroyed:

If the opponent destroys this card by battle or effect and sent into the graveyard, bring back the card and equip it onto your opponent's card. Take control of that target monster.

 **Take control of that target monster.**

"… Offer me your soul… please."

"Don't make Alice say such cr*p, doll b*tch."

And a new conflict of Light and Darkness… was forced to make their move.


	45. OOD COUPLE

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=46=**  
 _ **'OOD COUPLE'**_

* * *

"This is messed up."

Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Girl said those words with mixed emotions. No one can blame her.

Yes, she was a Level 7 Monster with a Special 5th Generation Power. Yes, she had an ATK of 2500 and a DEF of 2100. If she were to go back in time to the First Generation, she would be a rival to the great Dark Magician.

No. This wasn't about special abilities or power.

This was all about a broken heart that cold not be mended…

… Not until something exorcised the Dark Spirit that had taken over Dark Magician Girl.

"H-hey! Commoner! D-don't charge in so recklessly!"

"LEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!"

Odd-Eyes watched as Jack O'Donnell charged into a battle that was beyond his league. He may have been able to jump over the hedges and short walls of the hotel parking lot where the fight awas taking place.

He was still a Normal High School Boy. He had Zero Talents or Zero Power. He wasn't even one of those stereotypical protagonist who had a sleeping Demon sealed inside his body. Nothing that special.

Just a fist, a yell, and his god-d mn feet to run and jump out of magic blast range.

"UWOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

"D-DON'T JUST GIVE UP AND RETREAT IN MY DIRECTION! UGYAAAAAAAAH!"

Odd-Eyes ducked as a bolt of distorted black flames slashed over her head, destroying a family van behind her. Not at all prepared, she received a brunt of an explosion from the vehicle that blew up from the inside out when the magical fire ignited the fuel.

Do not worry, there were not passengers harmed in the making of this story. Only a high school boy and Level 7 Pendulum Monster.

"GUBFFFF!?"

"GEFFKKUU!?"

In this moment, the boy and dragon girl smashed face into each other in mid-air when they tried to jump out of danger.

"THE F**K LOOK WHERE YOU'RE DODGING TO, ODD-EYES!"

"THAT'S NOT MY NAME GOD-D MN IT!"

"Master… Is that girl giving you trouble… Don't worry, let your dear Alice rip her apart."

"DUCK!"

"DON'T TOUCH MY THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!?"

Odd-Eyes screamed at the top of her lungs, not because she nearly avoided another lance of magical fire, but because a certain boy grappled her body and threw her down onto the ground.

If they fell any more, this could get R-Rated.

"DON'T MAKE ME INCINERATE YOU, COMMONER!"

"THE H*LL!? AREN'T YOU A LEVEL 7 DRAGON? DO SOMETHING!"

"Masteeeeer. Don't leave me aloooooone. I hate being lonely."

"UWOOOH! DUCK!"

"STOP TOUCHING ME!"


	46. KING AND QUEEN

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=47=**  
 _ **'KING and QUEEN'**_

* * *

Alice was not happy.

"Master! Come back! Don't run away from little old me. I won't bite you… I'll definitely bite that weird eyed dragon b*tch that's biting your face~"

Alice didn't want this.

"Master! Master! Look at me! This spirit inside of me is making my body so warm and tender, don't you just want to hug me until I break? Don't worry, if it's Master's touch – I don't mind one bit!"

Alice refused this obscenity.

"M…Master don't leave… S…Save… this little Alice… I… want to… Help—Belong…. To….M…Master… Master!"

In a mixture of ecstacy, agony, excitement, and fear, Dark Magician Girl Alice's voice was trembling. It quivered in a way that would make men want to keep her for the rest of their life. The way she fidgeted would definitely make it impossible to keep one's eyes off her.

And that smile which hold so much promise and more…

Alice didn't want to be seen like this… especially in front of a certain Normal High School Boy.

 _(… Master, please… Don't listen to me!)  
*Thoughts*_

So Dark Magician Girl could only cry with a smile, screaming in her heart, unable to do anything to keep her own body from blasting one wave of magical black fire after another.

A killing machine with a locked conscious.

Tears that could never been seen… anguish that could never be heard.

 _(Forgive me, Master… I didn't want it to be like this… I don't want to hurt you… I can't bear this shame anymore…)_

Drip. Drip. Drip. Small tears fell from Dark Magician Girl's bewitched stare. It first appeared as sorrowful diamonds… then the harder she forced herself to stop… the redder the tears became.

 _(Please Master…. Destroy me!)_

That was Alice's one wish to end this situation. That was the conclusion she wanted to see.

"Oi, Alice! What the h*ll are you doing in there!?"

 _(… Heh?)_

In the middle of the battle, the possessed Dark Magician Girl's body suddenly came to a stop. She had just charged up another wave of black magic… but it fizzled out when she suddenly lost all concentration.

It was because a pair of normal eyes were glaring right at here, through her pupils, into her soul.

Words of spite were heard… but it held no malice.

"Alice! You can do better than that!"

 _(H-heh? Master?)_

"Hurry up and kick that Necro-B*tch out of your body!"

 _(I-I can't. Sh-she's too strong. She's corrupting my mind and soul… at this rate… she'll fully take over everything about me!)_

"Seriously! Just slap an eviction notice and fight back! Swing your fists, bite her arm, do whatever you do to wake up!"

 _(Guuuuh. I-I can't. I can't eject this spirit out of my body. Ah! She has full control of my lips… HEH!? I-I'll warm up Master's bed? I-I'll bear his children!? Th-thirty of them!? WHAT THE H*LL IS THIS FIEND MONSTER MAKING ME SAY SUCH OBSCENITY! GAAAAH! MASTER IS GONG TO HATE ME NOW!)_

"Tch. No good! I can't reach her! Oi, Sadako, Fifi! Alice is going to attack again! Prepare Attack Pattern Beta, hurry it up! And you, Odd-Eyes, I don't care if that's not your name – start Magical Bombardment on my call!"

 _(… It's no use…)_

More red tears began to fall from Dark Magician Girl's face.

 _(Master can't hear me… not like this…)_

The red rain fell to the ground, like the bodies of falling soldiers.

 _(… He must thing I'm a shameful wench… he must think I'm dirty…. He… must think I should be destroyed so I'm no longer an eyesore…. It's okay Master… I forgive you… I… I hope… I hope we can meet again in the next lif-)_

"I'm taking you home, Alice."

"…. Ah."

In this moment, Alice regained control of her lips. She had enough power to say the honest sound in her heart.

Jack O'Donnell stared right into Alice's eyes, ignoring the possession or the spirit that resided in her body.

"I said: I'm taking you home… Do you understand?"

"...,…,…,…,…,….,…,…,…,…,…,…,..,…,,… I do."

"THEN DANCE LIKE YOU WANT TO WIN! ALICE!"

"YES! MASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

And so begins a new war that transcends body and soul in one epic turn-table!


	47. LOVE AND WAR

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=47=**  
 _ **'LOVE AND WAR+'**_

* * *

"God-D*mn it, I f**ked up."

"MASTER!"

Jack O'Donnell took advantage of Alice's true consciousness to regain her body, charging forward. He thought a Tackle would help, but failed to calculate that the Dark Necrofear controlling Dark Magician Girl still had enough independence to move her separate limbs.

A drop kick to the stomach and a swing of her scepter was enough to send the normal boy flying to the side.

"M-Mr. Zombie! D-d-don't worry, I'll catch—UGUUUUU!?"

Silent Magician Lv 4 rushed over, tracking onto the trajectory of Jack O'Donnell's fall based on his flying shadow. Once she calculated the right landing spot and stood where X marks the spot, she got pummeled by the boy's flying body.

It was like a hamster trying to catch a football.

"Sh*t! Sadako down! Sadako down!"

"Kyuuuuuuu~"

The Level 4 Spellcaster made a weird noise as spirals filled her eyes, completely out cold. Without bothering to wake her up, Jack O'Donnell hefted Silent Magician Lv 4 onto his shoulder and jump.

Just in time to avoid Alice's Black Burning Attack that ripped open a fountain.

"FIFI! PLAN F!"

"WHERE THE H*LL DID A TO E GO!?"

Magician of Faith sprung out from a bush nearby. She took this change to use the exploding fountain debris as cover, the cloud of dust as a smoke screen, and raced through the gaps to close in on Dark Magician Girl.

The Level 3 Spellcaster lashed out her scepter with the sharp crescent moon ornament like a moonspear, aiming for the neck.

"Aaaanh. Any lower and you might cut off my clothing, naughty girl."

"Sh*t!"

The Possess Dark Magician Girl only had to tiled her head – and her teeth snapped shut onto the moon-shape spearhead as if it were a rose in a Tango. Fifi could only curse as she struggled to pry her scepter free, but it was like pulling a sword out from a stone and not being the chosen one.

"Ptoo~♥"

"GUWOOOOH!?"

All possessed Alice had to do was spit that rose out, and Fifi went flying across the parking lot from the incredible kickback.

A Level 3 could never out-do a Level 6 Monster without proper back up. Fifi had no proper back up.

"Good going, Fifi! You got her distracted! Yoh! Odd-Eyes you're up!"

"PLAN F WAS USING ME AS BAIT! YOU MOTHER-"

"MY EYES AREN'T ODD, THEY'RE DICHROMATIC!"

Where Magician of Faith was taken out, Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon girl stepped in to fill in the broken defenses.

The dragon girl took in a breath, and unleashed a horse of rainbow fire that danced all over the air. Obviously, Dark Magician Girl avoided it with a twirl of her own, and return fire with Black Burning. It missed her target… but it did hit something and it fell like dead pedals.

"… M…my hair… YOU B*********************TCH!"

"Tee-hee. You look better with a Pixie Cut~☆"

The Dragon and Spellcaster instantly clashed, head to head. They kept firing away their Rainbow Lasers and Black Burning magic all over the field. Pillars crumbles, glasses exploded, people running and screaming 'EEEEEEEEEEEEEK' as if they were pulled into a Kaiju battle.

In a matter of 30 seconds, the victor of the gunfight was decided.

"GUH!?"

"I wonder how you taste after I cook you, miss lizard?"

Dark Magician Girl Alice stomped a foot onto Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Girl's stomach, aiming her scepter for the finishing blow. Even with the large difference in Levels and Stats, the Level 7 fell before the Level 6 monster.

The battle… was over.

"If you see a rainbow in heaven, give me a call. Kee-hee."

"B…b*tch."

"It's Dark Magician Girl to you, Miss Newt. Tee-hee-hee."

"Alice."

"….,….,…,….,…,…,…"

Dark Magician Girl… rather, the spirit of Dark Necrofear, realized her fatal mistake. In all the excitement of pummeling Silent Magician Level 4, Magician of Faith, and Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Girl, she got lost in the battle with these 'weaklings' and set her sights high up for the chance to grasp victory.

In other words, they were all a diversion.

A diverions they all mutually agreed to follow out.

Just so Jack O'Donnell could finally get within arm's distance of Dark Magician Girl.

"….,….,….,….,… You B*stard."

"So you finally showed your true colors, Dark Necrofear?"

"Why can't humans like you just be obedient dogs. Hand over your soul, and I will spare you pain. It's no different than trying to cut a fish open while it's still thrashing alive. The struggle will only kill you faster."

"I don't really care about those kind of complicated details."

"I just want souls! Not trouble!"

"Like I said, I don't care about your dissatisfaction with your life."

"Are you mocking me!? - Ah!"

Jack O'Donnell took this opportunity to deliver his ultimate surprise attack… one so devastating it would shut even the most strongest of villains up.

… A hug… from behind… with trembling arms.

"I don't want to lose Alice."

"…"

"I've waited too long to see my dream come true… where I can finally hold her like a real girl…just like this..."

"…."

"She is the only hope I have left in this sick world… Don't be an *sshole and steal that away from me."

"….,….,….,….,….,….,….,…,…,…,…,…,….,…,…,…,…,…,…. I lose."

A change in the battlefield occurred. A fierce pitch black cloud exploded from Dark Magician Girl's body. It forced her entire being to convulse and twist on the spot, forcing every ounce of black soot and cloud from her skin and clothing. The neon red lines turned off. The demon slits in her eyes smoothed out to a round shape.

Her original color and light in her eyes… returned.

Alice… was free.

"….. Master…. Thank you…. For never giving up on me… for these 10 long years… I…I'm so grateful…"

True tears fell from Alice's eyes, warm, soft, and glistening like the tears from heaven. Cherishing the warmth of Jack O'Donnell's embrace, she touched his hands and held them close to her heart.

A bond that could not be seen, nor touched… neither could it be spoke off so easily.

Something that only Jack and Alice could feel.

"… I truly lost."

The black cloud that was expelled took form. It solidified and turned into a curvy silhouette. It transformed into a familiar dark-blue doll… a certain Level 8 Fiend who had the ability to possess whatever card that destroyed its body in the field.

Dark Necrofear.

"… You're honest heart has touched my soul. You have this vic—"

"Sick her."

"… Heh?"

Before Dark Necrofear realized it – Silent Magician Level 4, Magician of Faith, and Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Girl made their one last assault. In other words, they slipped a sack over the Fiend's head and started to beat the sh*t out of her with sticks and kicks

"BAD GIRL – BAD GIRL – BAD GIRL!"

"HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, DOLL FREAK!?"

"THIS IS FOR KILLING MY HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!"

A series of screaming echoed into the sky, no one being able to discern whose belongs to whose. The loudest of them all, was Dark Necrofear.

"I GIVE! I GIVE! I GIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

With one last triple kick, the Dark Necrofear was left alone twitching on the ground. The sack fell off her body in the mayhem and she tried to push herself to her feet.

A certain foot stomped right down onto the ground in front of her. Regretting this very moment, she looked up.

A p*ssed off Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician Girl.

"… Alice is my girl."

"…."

"After all the sh*t that you've put her through…What do you say?"

"…. A…aa….AAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAH! I-I'M SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR TAKING OVER YOUR BODY! I-I'M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU SPEAK OF THINGS THAT ARE AGAINST YOUR WILL! I-I SWEAR I WON'T DO IT TO YOU EVER AGAIN!"

"Haaaanh? There's going to be a second time? Haaaaaanhn!?"

"NOOO! NO! NEVER! NEVER EVER! I-I SWEAR I WON'T POSSESS ANY OTHER MONSTER! I-I SWEAR I WON'T TAKE AWAY PEOPLE'S SOULS WITHOUT PERMISSION! I-I PROMISE I'LL REINCARNATE AS A MOKEY AND NEVER HURT ANOTHER SOUL AGAIN!"

"…."

"….. Aaah…"

"… Tch. Go home."

"THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

And so, as if completing the last of her unfinished business on the Mortal Plane… Dark Necrofear instantly vanished out of sight. Never to be seen again… only as a Mokey… but that would be a tale for another time.

… Now, to wrap things up.

"… Good grief… I'm tired. Let's not waste time and go home, Alice… Hmm? Alice. Wh-why are you all red? D-don't tell me you're burning up from fever because of the exorcism!?"

"….. I….. I…. I'm…I'm Master's… woman?"

"… Oh sh*t. Th-that wasn't what I meant! I-I mean you're my key card! Th-there's no way we could start with a shotgun wedding to establish our true relationship!"

"Kyaaaaaa! M-Master is going to marry me after he takes me home and do this and that first~♥!?"

"Hold up! Don't tell me you're being possessed by the backstabbing Fiend b*tch again!? Y-you wouldn't say things like that, right!?"

"Wh-what should I wear for our special night? A velvet bathrobe? A see through? O-or an Apron?... Kyaaaaaaan! So many decisions to make before we get married~♥!"

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?"

All's well that end's well… sort of…. Until Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon Girl frowned.

"Sh*t. All that fighting made me want to go to the bathroom again."

"We should wait until Mr. Zombie is done getting married first, Miss Rainbow Eyes."

"W-wait. Then I would have to wait for hours!? My bladder would explode by then!"

"Oh pipe down, lizard girl. They say you can hold it in for a good 10 hours before you burst. There's plenty of time to kill before the heathen boy is done flirting with his 'mate'."

"No! I-I need it right now! I-I've already reach the point where the 10 hour limit has expired! I-I need to go, now! Aaaah! M-my legs, they're giving out! H-help me! Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

… And so continues Jack's Bizarre Adventure.

"My Ring Size is a 6, Master! Make sure the diamond is as big as an Apple~♥!"

"GOD-DARN IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!"

...

...

 _ **=END TURN=**_


	48. NEW YEAR RESOLVE

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

 **~~"Happy New Year 2017" ~~ Emerald Sonata**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=48=**  
 _ **'NEW YEAR RESOLVE'**_

* * *

It was the New Year… a brand new time of love, romance, and conflict.

The year of the Rooster. The animal that wakes up earlier than the others and make the proud call… waking you up from your sweet dreams…

… That moment when you really, really need to turn off that alarm with a shot gun.

Anyway, the love story of a new century.

"M-Master… I-I'm very grateful…"

"…"

"I-if you it hand't been for you… I might have lost my mind from that Dark Necro-Wench… I'm so happy that you rescued me with your own fists."

"…"

"M-Master. I've always wanted to tell you this but…. I love you!"

"…"

"I-I know you may not be able to accept these feelings s-so suddenly, I-I didn't give you a chance to pr-prepare your heart. N-neither am I sure if you've already gave your heart to another, or-or that you wish to build a Harem Route!"

"…"

"B-but please know this Master… No matter what… I… Your Dark Magician Girl… Your Alice…. Will…. Will… Will always love—"

"Alice? Why are you talking to that cactus."

"UWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!?"

The Heroine of this story, the Level 6 Dark-Type Spellcaster, Dark Magician Girl (ALICE), jumped on the spot from a familiar and dead-pan snarky voice…

… Belonging to a certain Dead Pan Snarker, Jack O'Donnell (Lv 0 Human).

"… I-I'm… watering the poor thing! Yes!"

"Don't. It's designed by mother nature to survive in the desert for god knows how long it would get it's next rain shower. If you giveit too much, it will blow up and die. Sounds controversy compared to a regular daisy or even a pot of petunias, but that is the circle of life….. "

"… I… is that so… I'm sorry."

"Come on, Alice. We got to get moving. Just let the old man at the flower store thank you, give you a candy, and let's move on."

"… Yes… Master…"

Dark Magician Girl smiled as the high school boy sourly walked off into the opposite direction… carrying a bag of convenience store food he had just purchased 'not too long ago'.

…. That was correct, Dark Magician Girl had been having a Seventh Heaven level confession to a Cactus of a local family run Flower Shop ran by a senior who had trouble looking for his glasses that always sit on his hat.

The girl… was practising to… open her feels more.

"… Why… why can't you be a cactus, Master? (T_T)"

"Haaah? Was that an insult or an innuendo?"

"UWOOOH! I-I DIDN'T THINK IF THAT FAR! D-D-DON'T MAKE SUCH DANGEROUS INSINUATION!"

Dark Magician Girl had no choice but to accept the fact that she could not confess her true feelings to the hero she adored at this time in the story. So, she trotted off to follow after him… all the while tagged along by two other peculiar Monster Cards turned people.

"E-essentially, we should take the left turn at Alberkerki Drive and walk straight down to Timbucktoo Avenue. That way, we would avoid pedestrian traffic to make it to the Café that sells the Maple Syrup crepe."

"If you ask me, brat, I just want a god-d mn shower… My feet hurt, and my hair is starting to smell of iron and I have no f**king clue how that happened… Hey, heathen boy, I'm putting my psychological trauma on your tab."

"Be my guest. I didn't hear a thing you said, short stop."

Following closely to Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician Girl were two peculiar Spellcastes, both of them under the Light Category.

One of them was covered in white robes and a white hat with chroma-colored hair. She carried a small staff in her two shaking hands, and always seemed to shake even though there are no dogs ready to jump on her to give her a good licking.

Her name was Silent Magician Level 4.

"Ugyaaaaah! I-it's a Silver Fang! K-keep that beast away from my haiiiir! It is not a chewing tooooy!"

"Pipe down, Sadako! That's just a St. Bernand cosplaying as Silver Fang! How do you not notice the difference in body mass and anatomical make up compared to an actual Silver Fang beast!"

"I don't care! It's going to lick my body and cover me in slime! Get it away!"

The other girl rolling her eyes at Silent Magician Level 4 was a Level 3 Spellcaster who carried a long sceptre with a crescent moon ornament on top. She wore a full purple robe and she carried herself more like a boy who had the world in her pocket with one hand in her pocket, more than a quiet girl that would look great in a Yamato Nadeshiko style kimono.

Her name was Magician of Faith.

"Tch. Heathen, I'm hungry. After the fiasco with the Dark Necrofear, my gut was scared to the point of being empty. I demand you to fork over all of your food to compensate for my damages."

"I've already submitted your complaint to the Customer Service department in my brain, Fifi. But unfortunately, it has been denied in Red Ink."

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT FOR MORE THAN 5 SECONDS!"

There had been a fifth member, but due to some technical difficulties and scheduling issues, she is unable to appear for this season (read: constantly goes to the bathroom too much).

All Odd-Eye Pendulum Dragon fans, we humbly apologize. Ahem.

This was the main party who were on a quest to discovered the reason as to why all the Duel Monster Cards in the world were appearing as real monsters.

"… Guuuuuuuuuuu! I-I can't stand this tension anymore! I must declare my position in Master's heart!"

… Miss Dark Magician Girl, wai—

"Master! I've always wanted to tell you this! So please accept my feelings!"

M-Miss Dark—

"I LOVE YOU!"

"…"

"Y-you don't have to turn into a C-Cactus to console me, M-Master."

Miss Dark Magician Girl, please open your eyes.

Jack O'Donnell just got snagged by a Cyber Falcon.

"… Heh?.. Eh… HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!?"

And so re-begins Jack's Bizarre Adven—

"THE F**K AM I THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS – DARN IT AAAAAALL!"

"NOOOOO! MASTEEEEEEEER!"

"MR. ZOMBIE! COME BAAAAAAAAACK!"

"…. Yaaaawn."


	49. IRON WOMAN

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=49=**  
 _ **'IRON WOMAN'**_

* * *

Jack O'Donnell just got grabbed by a Cyber Falcon.

What does he do?

-(A) Scream like a girl.

-(B) Scream like a girl and wave for help.

-(C) Scream like a girl and try to MacGuyver himself out of the situation.

-(D) Bad End

"SCREW YOU!"

The normal highschool boy and former Duelist was hanging for life and death by his coat nicked by the claws of the Level 4 Machine Monster, Cyber Falcon.

His situation was no different than a jacket hanging on the handle of a speeding motorcycle handle.

"UWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! A-ALICE! SADAKO! FIFI! GET ME OFF THIS CRAZY THING!"

Even if you scream in space, even if someone does hear, his beloved Heroine will not be able to make it in time to save him if he slipped, fell, and splattered.

"THE F**K!? WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON!?"

Audiences who think you are a lucky b*stard.

"I"LL SUE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

And so, there goes the damsel in distress highschool boy who was being flung around like a towel in the Cyber Falcon's claws.

"I-ISN'T THIS THE PART WHERE YOU PULL A DEUX EX MACHINIMA OR SOMETHING?"

…. Fine.

A comet appears to smash into the Cyber Falcon's head.

"THE F**K! THAT WASN'T ANY INCONSPICUOUS!"

Jack O'Donnell made that comment when he saw something appear out of nowhere to collide with the head of the machine beast. It wasn't large, not like an asteroid, and it resembled more human than machine itself.

… it also had lovely curves, beautiful blond hair, and was well endowed even with the armor on.

"… I.. Iron Man?"

"…. Wo…"

No. Even bettered.

The girl in red and yellow armor that landed on top of Cyber Falcon….

… Was none other than the Level 4 Warrior Monster… Command Knight.

"….Hmph."

"H-heh?"

The boy watched in silence as the Level 4 Warrior girl stood up across the Cyber Falcon's head as if a regular stage. She looked down at the beast, tilted its head…. And slashed her sword through the neck.

For those of you who cannot handle classic execution, please look away.

"…. Oh sh*t."

Jack O'Donnell was saved. Without a head, the Cyber Falcon will have no chance to eat him.

"OH SH**************************************************T!"

Jack O'Donnell was screwed. Without a head, the Cyber Falcon's body began to plummet back to ground zero.

"OI! COMMANDO GIRL, WHATEVER YOUR NAME WAS! DIDN'T YOU FLY UP HERE TO BEAT THE CR*P OUT OF THIS THING!? USE YOUR HAND AND FEET BOOSTERS TO FLY US OUT OF HERE?"

"… Wo?"

"THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR A HEAD TILT YOU LAZY—"

Times up, the Cyber Falcon corpses smashed back down to ground zero at beyond 88 miles per hour.

"I hate my life."

Please deal with it, Mr. Lucky B*stard.


	50. WO-CLASS

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=50=**  
 _ **'WO-CLASS'**_

* * *

"…Wo."

"Oh my god. Please don't tell me you're one of those stereotypical 'no-talk' characters that only make a sound or repeat its name?"

"Woo?"

Jack O'Donnell was in one piece… (some people out there must be going 'tch, lost my chance to netorare Dark Magician Girl from this sucker). Yes, again he was in one piece.

But that doesn't mean he was unscathed.

"… At least help me stop the bleeding from my skull, Woo Fighter."

"Wo!"

"GUBYAAAH! I SAID CONDUCT FIRST AID ON MY SKULL, NOT SPLIT IT OPEN WITH YOUR ARMORED FIST!"

The boy had somehow landed alive in the middle of a public park. It was the weekday, so it was busy with lots of family outings, picnics, and a small county fair on the side. The reason why they didn't panic or flip out from the crashing of a dead Cyber Falcon was the fact there was an Airshow going on nearby. They're used to rookie pilots hitting the wrong accelerator or forgetting to unlock the airbrake, as there's never been a serious injury before.

… Yeah, life can be messed up ladies and gentlemen.

Standing next to him while he grieved across the bench, was the one who saved him from the clutches of the evil Machine Beast, Command Knight.

"Can you say anything else by Wo-Wo?"

"… Wo."

"Can you even speak English?"

"Wo. Wo."

"… Dutch?"

"*Head Shake*"

"… Hand Language… NO! THE HAWAIIAN HANG-TEN SIGN DOES NOT COUNT AS COMMUNICATION!"

"Wooo… *Sniff*."

*Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr*.

"… Oh h*ll no."

A noise came in between Jack O'Donnell and Command Knight… the grumbling of a distant Earthquake.

Insert image of a fuel tank running on 'EMPTY'.

"…."

Jack O'Donnell lifted up the grocery bag he had just bought from the local convenience store. The bottom of the bag was torn open… meaning it was just as empty as a fuel tank.

"… Do I have to?"

"*Nod* *Nod*."

"… Seriously?"

"*Nod* *Nod*"

"Tch."

For once, Jack O'Donnell became a hero that day.

"I'm going home. Good bye…. Hmm? OI! CYBER FALCONS ARE NO EDIBLE! THEY'RE IRON HIDE WILL GIVE YOU MORE THAN INDIGESTION! SO STOP HACKING OFF THE BODY LIKE A KEBAB AND GET OVER HERE!"

He saved Command Knight from potential Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome and took her to the fair.

"Wo~♥!"

"… You don't love me! You only love me for the food!"

"Wo-wo~♥!"

"DON'T AGREE TO THAT STATEMENT!"


	51. SHORT POEM

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=51=**  
 _ **'SHORT POEM'**_

* * *

This will be super short…

…Because somewhere in the city a certain Spellcaster had a bad premonition.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WH-WHY IS MY HOUSEWIFE DANGER SENSES TINGLING! I-IS MASTER HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH ANOTHER MONSTER GIRL! GUUUUUUUUUUUUH! I-I CANNOT ACCEPT THIS! NO JUSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!"

"… M-Miss Fifi, sh-should we calm down Big Sister before she blows a vein and suffers from internal cranial hemorrhaging."

"Sit back and relax, little ghost brat. A mad mob show like this is usually my favorite part of the day. I'll get the tar and feather."

"PLEASE LISTEN TO THE WILL OF REASON!"

"Meh."

And so begins the deadliest housewife hunt for the cheating husband.

"MASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEER!"

….

…

In the park.

"Son of a B*tch. Why do I feel like my life is being targeted for slaughter?"

"Wo *head tilt*?"


	52. HAREM - AUTHORIZED

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=52=**  
 _ **'TWO TIMING, DIFFICULT. HAREM - SAFE'**_

* * *

"Masteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer! Masteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer! Where are youuuuuuuuuu! Please answer meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!... Uguu."

"No matter how much you scream, holler, or blow a dog whistle, that heathen isn't going to answer. Something tells me he ran off with a woman with a udders the size of a god-d8mn cow and eloped to do this and that into the sunset."

"M-Miss Fifi!? I-Isn't that a bit too graphic!? E-even for this Level 4 Spellcaster!"

Dark Magician Girl cried as she staggered around, Magician of Faith Fifi groaned as she waved her moon sceptre to kill her boredom, and Silent Magician Lv 4 Sadako was hugging her magic wand close to her chest as if she heard… a horror story around a campfire.

"A-also. Is it true that you get pregnant when a boy touches your hand… OH MY GOD! MR. ZOMBIE ALWAYS CARRIED ME AROUND LIKE A PURSE DURING THE ZOMBIE ATTACK! W-w-would that be, uuuh… One… two… T-ten times—AM I GOING TO HAVE 10 OF HIS CHILDREN!?"

 ** _*Crack*_**

"… Ghost Girl… not something to say out loud at a time like this… I think you trigger that blondie's Yandere switch."

"Maaaaaaaaassssteeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeerr!"

Sadako stopped in her tracks and slapped her hands to her small mouth. She started to shake all over when she saw a huge cloud of killer intention fuming into the sky like a raging bon fire. Standing next to her was Fifi, who was playing around with a public pay phone to kill her boredom.

Obviously from those innocent words that left Sadako's mouth – a certain Dark Magician Girl Alice… was super p*ssed off.

"GURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MASTER! HOW DARE YOU! WE FINALLY ARE REUNITED AFTER 10 YEARS – 10 WHOLE YEARS – AND NOT ONLY ARE YOU NOT SATISFIED WITH MY BODY – YOU GOT THIS POOR LITTLE GIRL PREGNANT! SHE'S NOT EVEN OF AGE!"

"I-I-I'M LEVEL FOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR!"

Alice grabbed at her blond hair while Sadako was screaming at the top of her lungs to calm the Level 6 Spellcaster down. In the end, her power in Persuasion was very weak due to how red her face was.

"I-I know it was an accident! M-Mr. Zombie only touched me so he could save me from the Zombie Horde… and-and the Necrofear Witch… a-and when I couldn't reach the high chair… a-and when he showed me where the bathroom was when I was lost… and-and.."

"OF ALL THE PLACES IN THE WORLD TO HAVE AN AFFAIR – WHY THE GOD-D8MN BATHROOM!?"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED! HE FIRST TOUCHED ME IN THE GRAVEYARD!"

"THAAAAAAT'S JUST AS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORSE!"

… In the middle of the screaming war waged between two innocent maiden that all sparked from a… misunderstanding… a certain Magician of Faith turned a blind eye to the potential collateral damage and continued to play with the public phone.

"Hmm?... Hello? Who is this? I didn't know this thing held a human voice… What? Operator? Is that your name? Well, your mother should be ashamed of herself – who would name their daughter Operator, no man would bother marrying you… Wh-what do you mean you'll sue me!? Wh-what is that, a Magic Curse!?"

…. That's… all they wrote.

"MASTEEEEEEER! YOU CHEATEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

"UWAAAAH! MR. ZOMBIE! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MAKING ME PREGNANT!"

"I WILL NOT TALK TO YOUR LAWYER WIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!"

Good god.


	53. TENNESSEE WALTZ

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=53=**  
 _ **'TENNESSEE WALTZ'**_

* * *

"Wo! Wo-wo! Wooo! Wo-wo-wo! Wooo! (OvO) Wo-wo!"

"No. No-no. Nooo. No-no-no. Nooo. (-_-) No-no—NO!"

Jack O'Donnell was a young man, but by the way he was yanking at his brown hair – he will soon go bald if he does not find a salutation to his dilemma.

Or rather, find a way to stop a certain Command Knight's rampage through the carnival they were waltzing through.

Don't worry, no carnival goer or annoying carnival stallkeepers were injured in the making of this scene (tch, for the latter). Rather… it was about the pocket money he had left.

He went bankrupt in only five steps.

"For crying out loud! What is wrong with your stomach!? D-d-don't tell me you're the character type who can eat everything in the world and not only never get fat, but are never satisfied and leave the protagonist completely overwhelmed with the food bill!?"

"… Wo?"

"DON'T HEAD TILT ME GOD-D8MN IT!"

Command Knight gave the boy a cute tilt of her head, ignoring the fact he smacked his hand into her head. Despite the attack – her Armor Class was too high for a regular bare-handed slap to have any effect and Jack O'Donnell felt the consequences of the recoil.

"Darn it all… How do you ever expect this normal high school boy to release the frustration in his heart?"

"Wo?"

As if to answer his question (rather she was just too warm under the sun) she flapped her skirt.

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!"

And the young man in his youthful prime did a beautiful spit-take.

"D-don't pull off such a frightening innuendo in a situation like this! Th-the stress that's spiraling out of control in my weak-heart is too much, I might do something that will make both of us regret… Good-god, I can't afford a Shotgun Wedding, not before I can find a decent College!?"

"… Wo."

"DON'T IGNORE ME AND PLAY GAMES! LISTEN TO MY WOES!"

Feel free to kick this protagonist while he is down for those who have far worse stress than him.

"… Despair… the lack of emotional and spiritual support in this rotten society has left me in despair."

Read'em and weep


	54. DUES EX MACHINE

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI**_

 _ **Fanfiction and Characters with * by: Emerald Sonata**_

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, Alice**

 **=54=**  
 _ **'DEUS EX MACHINE'**_

* * *

"…Wo?"

"Oh sh*t."

Jack and Command Knight Girl had continued their little adventure in the carnival they had entered. Though their primary reason for being there was strictly for business (buying food for the every hungry Command Knight Girl), the attractions, games, and local rides were captivating for the Duel Monster girl turned human.

However, they ran into a problem.

"W…wo… *Shudder* *Shudder*…"

"… Command Knight… Just give the guy your Cotton Candy, your Popcorn, and the Corndogs… and walk away."

"W-wo! (X{)"  
 _(Emoji Alert)_

"Th-this isn't the time to throw a tantrum!"

Machine King.

Somehow, in the middle of this regular carnival that had no theme or products revolving around Duel Monsters – there was on figure in the midst of everything that stood out.

The giant statue of a certain King-like figure that rules over the Machine Type monsters in the reality of Duel Monsters.

Level 6 – Machine King.

… That statue was alive… and its large robot arms were pinched tightly onto Command Knight's Cotton Candy, Popcorn Bag… and a Tray of Corndogs.

The girl refused to let go… she didn't want to hand it over to a greasy 10 meter high machine with hands the size of wheels on a large car.

"Sssh! Sssssh! C-Command Knight, d-don't do anything stupid! The important part in any negotiation with a power beyond your capacity is to say I'm sorry, bow your head until it touches the ground, and crawl away… On the count of three, we'll go through those peaceful steps of submission… One… two… three.

"… Wo! (XP)"

… Yes… she blew a Raspberry at the Machine King that ruled over an entire class of metallic creatures. It proceeded to project a red light over its forehead in place of a vein and—

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jack O'Donnell thought quick on his feet – and tackled Command Knight over…

They avoided a truck smashing fist that blew open a Baseball Throwing Stall with one swing. Total Demolition.

"…. Son of a b*tch can't these antagonist ever give this poor boy a break!?"

"Wo! Wo-wo. Wofu!"

"IT'S ATTACK POINTS ARE 2100! SO DON'T GO DRAWING OUT YOUR SWORD AND BITE YOUR THUMB TO GIVE AN ITALIAN F**K YOU, YOU IDIOOOOOOO OOOOO OOOOT!"

Without further ado, Jack O'Donnell used his ultimate attack, one that could only be used in situations like this.

"WO!?"

"RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

"WOOOOOOO! (X[])"

Coward indeed, Miss Command Knight, coward indeed.

"THIS IS CALL A TACTICAL RETREAT TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY!"


	55. RESTART Y-N (r)

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

 ** _-{Thank you for reading (^_^)v}_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=55=**

 _ **'RESTART_YesNo?'**_

* * *

The situation was dire. That was what Jack O'Donnell was thinking right now while he was running for his life. Honestly, he never wanted to have anything to do with this bizarre adventure, where creatures from the Duel Monster world suddenly come showering down onto the Earth. To be honest, he prayed for a normal life and not meet any transfer girl who was secretly a military agent; an alien girl spying on human culture to prep for invasion; a girl with middle-schooler's syndrome (Chuunibyou); or even a magical girl.

Most men would kill to earn the rights to be with a girl of that calibre, but not Jack O'Donnell. No sir. He prefer to run away like a fox pursued by a pack of hounds.

To be frank, he was being pursued by a horde of Giga-Tech Wolves. This really did feel like a big game hunt.

"THIS IS IMPOSSIBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!"

"Wo! Woow! Wo-wo! WOH!"

"For god's sake woman! Quit picking a fight with the dogs in a foreign language! It's only going to p*ss them off now they have Google translate to understand what you're saying."

"WOH-WOH!"

"I SAID STOP IT!"

Jack O'Donnell screamed louder than the barking of the Giga-Tech Wolves and he had to make a huge jump over a fallen cotton candy stand. He made sure to jump high enough so the random edges doesn't clip his feet and send him spiraling through the air. Also, he can't afford the Command Knight her was carrying over his shoulder to get distracted and try and grab a piece of the cotton candy.

"Mugu, mugu... Woh! (^_^)"

"... I hate this boy meets girl situation."

Saying those depressing words, Jack O'Donnell ran harder. Soon, he had to duck.

"GUWOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

A flying iron fist the size of a motorcycel came shooting at him from an angle above the air. He wasn't a military soldier, neither was he an Olympic Gymnast, but he was not only able to dodge the incoming fist-missile from hitting his face, he was able to toss up the Command Knight girl into the air to avoid the collision as well. He felt proud, until she came back down to his arms.

"GOD-D MN IT, GRAVITY!"

Lamenting that he didn't calculate the inertia of the Command Knight girl falling onto his arms, he tumbled. They both flipped like a car blowing a tire and spun out across the ground.

"WOH!"

"GAH!"

The two ended up skidding to a smoking halt across the park concrete, their sses up in the air. If one was daring, they could crouch and see Command Knight's panties.

"... That's it. We're f**ked."

No, this isn't an R-Rated story.

"I-If only Alice, Sadako, and that loud mouthed Fifi were only here!"

...

"... I said - if only Alice, Sadako and that idiot Fifi were here!"

... *Cricket*.

"OI! ISN'T THIS A PERFECT TIME FOR THOSE THREE CHARLIE'S ANGELS TO SHOW UP AND KICK THESE METAL MUTTS' SSES!? WH-WHERE ARE THEY!?"

Enjoying a Pumpkin Spice Latte somewhere far away. A special promo was going on.

"SON OF A B*TCH!"

Bad move. All the Giga-Tech Wolves that surrounded him and the Warrior girl broke a vein in their iron craniums. They were all born from their mothers... like regular dogs.

"Oh sh-"

And thus, there was lots of (hate) biting afterwards.

"GAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAUUGGHHHHHAAAAAA! ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!"


	56. SPICE GAME

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=56=**

 _ **'GAME OF SPICE'**_

* * *

"Achoo! D-did they put too much spice into this thing called a Latte?"

"I-I don't know. I-I've never tried this potion before. I-I wonder what effects will it give us when we drink it?"

"*siiiiip*... Hmm... It's pretty good."

In the city, searching for a certain boy who had been swept away by a Cyber Eagle into the distance, were three beautiful maidens that were that protagonist's Charlies' Angels. One was a Dark Magician Girl named Alice (Lv6), one was a Silent Magician called Sadako (Lv4), and the last one was the Magician of Faith, Fifi (Lv3). They were working together to solve a mystery that was important in their pursuit for the boy who rescued them, and befriending them when they were dragged into this weird world called Earth.

... The Pumpkin Spice Latte, with a side dice of Pumpkin Spice donut bits.

"Th-they say they mixed in Pumpkin with spices and served it in this beverage but... wh-where's the pumpkin seeds?"

"Hmm. I-it smells nice... b-but I'm not sure if my weak stomach has any allergic reactions to the ingredients. I-I can't tolerate things like Ginseng, Mandrakes, or Eye of Newt."

"I really don't see why you're both being wussies about this drink. It taste nice, and it has a flavorful aftertaste. Serious, kids today are so picky with their foods. *siiiiip*."

Dark Magician Girl and Silent Magician Lv 4 flinched upon hearing Magician of Faith's words. The third maiden in the party was really a low level spellcaster who looked like she was 12 years old. A 12 year old pretending to be a know it all.

"Hey don't give me that look! My star count may be three, but that doesn't mean it matches the level of my intelligence! You, blonder with six stars - what's 2 + 2?"

"Gaaaah! N-no! D-don't shove numbers down my brain o-or it'll explode! Aaaah! I-I'm seeing too many Fibonnaci numbers multiplying in my mind! M-make it stop! Make it stoooooooooop!"

"Uwaaaah! M-Miss Alice! Miss Alice! C-calm down or you'll go bald from pulling at your hair."

The Magician of Faith nodded without a care, ignoring the damages she had caused to her allies. She just took another sip of her Pumpkin Spice Latte, pulling up a fashion magazine of the latest trends. As this was her first time drinking a latte, and not wanting to show she didn't have any experience, she totally did not notice the mustache of orange milk foam on her lips.

Dark Magician Girl and Silent Magician stared at her, not bothering to tell their 'friend' about it.

"W-we can't be sitting here anymore!" Alice stopped pulling at her hair to calm down, but her heart was aching for some reason. "I-I can't be away from Master this long! I-I need his presence! I-I want to bask in his warmth and smell his manly scent again."

"Ew."

Said the Magician of Faith with milk foam on her lips, flipping the page of her magazine.

"I-I'm sure we'll find M-Mr. Z-Zombie, sir." Sadako tried to bring the ship of the conversation to the path they charted... no good, it hit another shore line. "If-if the eagle thing didn't d-devour him."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! D-DON'T TELL ME THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

Dark Magician Girl lost it. She pulled at her hair again, more out of fear than confusion of counting numbers in her head. She was not a human girl, she was a card and an icon in the Duel Monster universe. She was one of the most popular figures in all of the Spellcaster collection and a whole series of magic and monster cards were based on her entirely. So she was not able to control these humanly emotions she was feeling for the first time.

It was like how a child learned the taste of peanut butter on brussel sprouts (?,?,?).

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE! I NEED MASTER TO CALM ME DOWN, RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

"EEEP! W-WE UNDERSTAND YOU'RE SCARED AND LONELY, MISS ALICE! S-SO STOP STRANGLING MISS FIFI! SH-SHE'S TURNING ORANGE NOW!"

"G-GGggggGgGgggggGGgguguUUUUuUuugGUGUGiUgiKHJhJhkjlkjyjsiufyjkfppoigsk... (&д&)"

... The game to pursue a certain highschool boy, is afoot.


	57. PARLAY?

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=57=**

 _ **'ACCIDENT PRONED'**_

* * *

First thing's first, Jack O'Donnell was in a tight spot.

"… You guys accept Parlay, right?"

"… Woh! (XP)."

"For crying out loud, don't give them the raspberry at a time like this, god-d mn R2!"

The boy was not caught in a corner of the park. It was also the worst place imaginable and the last place he wanted to be in. The public washroom. What really hurt his pride, was the fact it was the girl's bathroom. He only sought refuge in this place, hoping the Giga-Tech Wolves and the Machine King had some decency to hesitate before diving after him into the woman's washroom.

Not only did they follow him without a care, some young and old ladies slapped the poor boy in defence.

Sigh. The things he has to do to survive in this cruel world.

"L-look. I-h ave no money. I-I don't have any family treasures. Heck, I don't even have any special set of skills to defend myself, s-so d-don't squish me. A-at least don't turn me into a nasty stain in the women's bathroom!"

"….W….wuuoo.."

"Hmm? Wh-what's the matter Pup girl?"

As much as Jack O'Donnell wanted to focus on dealing with the enemies that corned them in this public bathroom, there was a problem. The Command Knight who always showed herself as a brave fighter, willing to throw away her body in order to achieve victory, was hesitating. She was fidgeting as if studdenly struck with stage fright before t he pack of Giga-tech Wolves and the Machine King crowd. She kept looking down at the ground, her finger digging into Jack O'Donnell's shoulder.

It felt like she was trying to tell him something.

"….. Oi…. Don't tell me…. You have to go… right now?"

"… Woooooh o(╥﹏╥)o."

"DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER TELL YOU TO EMPTY YOUR BLADDER BEFORE YOU GO INTO WAR!"

Jack O'Donnell wasn't paying attention, but he would regret yelling at the poor girl. Whether the fight started because of his sudden loud noise, or the machine Duel Monsters suddenly were stricken by a Change of Heart spell and adored the Command Knight like an idol's fanclub.

They lunged at Jack O'Donnell with their chainsaw fangs and heat-blade sword.

"….. I hate myself, very much."

"Wuuh! Wuuuuh (￣■￣;)!"

The boy and duel monster girl tried to run, to find a place of refuge. Or at least somewhere that Command Knight could fix her... lady problem.

... In the end... uh.

"There's nothing I can do right now, Pup girl Just go. I don't care anymore."

"… Wuuh ლ(╥﹏╥ლ)."

The Command Knight was a strong fighter. She had the special ability in her card text where she could raise the ATTACK points of all Warrior monsters by 400 and no one can target this card if you have another monster on the field. It sounded overpoweringly nice, indeed. However, given the situation where Duel Monsters have gained a physical body in the human world, there were other factors they had to take into account.

If it's not fear of starving, it was short bladder control. Like Kryptonite to Super Man, this human problem crippled her and put her out of the fight.

Hence why Jack O'Donnell was carrying her on his back – ducked out the small window meant for peeping toms in the girl's washroom, climb up a branch Assassin's Creed style, and getting caught up in a tree like a cat.

Again, the boy was carrying this girl on his back, in the most dire of situation. And we're not talking about being pursued by a gang of flesh-eating machines.

"… You heard me. I don't care. Just go. The bathroom we just escaped from was demolished by that Machine King's rocket punch. There isn't another outhouse or washroom for miles, this is the only one. Dragging you into the boy's washroom isn't safe… too many hidden cameras… so… jjust let go."

"Wu-wuwa…Who? (On your back?)"

"Just f**king do it."

"W-wuwww… (W-wouldn't that hurt?)"

"My pride died long ago. So quit stalling and humiliate me already."

"… W…wow (I love you)."

"Don't say that in a time like this….. Hmm? Nothing?"

"…. Wuw."

"DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVE STAGE FRIGHT!?"

In the end, his efforts were in vain as the Command Knight was too emberassed to release her bladder in this romantic situation.

"DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH MENTAL WILL POWER I ENDURED JUST TO LET SOMEONE F**KING PEE ON ME! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THIS IS LIKE GETTING HYPED UP FOR A 3D MOVIE WITH LOTS OF CELEBRITY AND EFFECTS BUT GETTING A PUPPET SHOW!"

"Uwuuuuuuh! (I-I just can't do iiiiiit!)"

"YOU LITTLE-GAAAH!"

While they were bickering on whether or not to pee on another person in this dramatic moment, Jack O'Donnell lowered his guard by accident. A flying iron rocket punch soared through the air and sliced through the tree he was hiding upon. It was a clean cut, almost like a hot knife on butter, and it took out a chunk of the old 800 year old tree trunk. Jenga.

"UWOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

The world felt like it tiped for the boy, feeling his entire center of gravity shifting in an uncomfortable direction. The tree he was hiding in was tall, so a fall like this could essentially crush him. Worse, he can't accomodate for his shift in weight with this Command Knight on his back. So he did the one thing his instincts told him to do.

Hug the girl in his arms and act as her meat shield.

"DARN IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

 ** _*Splat*_**

...

...

... "Guh."

The boy opened his eyes. The dizziness in his head made him felt like he had entered another world altogether. Heaven... hopefully not the other direction. It then took him a while to remember the smell of corndogs, street baked pizza, and all sorts of carnival sounds going on in the background. He was still in the park, which was still under attack by a horde of mechanical monsters.

"... Oh dear god, I'm alive."

Not believing it himself, he had no choice but to brace himself for an upcoming attack. He can't be relief for even one second!

"Hey, Pup girl! Are you alive? Good, now get up and let's figure out how to shove something up their *sses and... Ah."

Something felt wet. It soaked right through the boy's clothing. It also felt warm, hot even. Like the warmth of another human body.

"... Oi... don't tell me."

"... Uuh."

Jack O'Donnell looked down to the person he was lying on top of. It was a girl in red and gold armor and long blonde hair. For some reason, she had one arm over her eyes, her lips twisted in a quiver. She was shuddering, and sniffing, as if she had been a victim of a sexual violation attempt. Jack O'Donnell was no sexual offender (his slate was clean!) but...

"..."

He looked down to see his entire front side soaked... with a distinct smell... and the poor girl was crying underneath him.

"W..wuuuaahh...woh..."

"... It's okay. I'm not angry."

The highschool boy who easily snaps at the littlest of things said those words without a care.

"You stay here. I'll take care of this."

Leaving that comment behind, Jack O'Donnell took off his dry jacket and covered it over the Command Knight who continued to weep like a deflowered maiden. The boy stood up, craned his neck to pop some stubborn bones inside. His fingers clenched, ready to claw someone in the face like some kind of wild cat. The boy picked up a stick as thick as a baseball bat - and railed one Giga-Tech Wolf rightin the jaw.

Some chainsaw teeth went flying that day.

"You piece of cr8p mutts... how dare you make a grown woman cry... I'll - SNAP YOUR NECKS AND SHOVE YOUR SNOUTS UP YOUR 8SSES!"

And thus the calamity known as Jack O'Donnell raged across the battlefield, bashing in iron skulls and splitting metal spines with every killer blow his regular arms and leg could dish out. Again, he was just a normal highschool boy, at most he has the strength of an amateur street fighter - only if he was in a good mood.

But he was in a bad mood, a super bad mood. He felt like killing someone. So why not take it out on the metal dogs that have been pestering him. At least him beating the aluminium colon tubes out of those monsters looked bad8ss.

"GET WRECKED YOU F**KING WOMBATS!"


	58. BLIND FURY

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=58=**

 _ **'BLIND WITH FURY(love)'**_

* * *

Dark Magician Girl didn't understand what emotion meant. She had been a human (somewhat) only recently upon her world of Duel Monsters suddenly colliding with the world of her Master. She felt like she had fallen into a well of fluffy pillows upon seeing the boy who she fought along side with during his youth as a Duelist. The sensation of being bathed in soft warm water as if an aromatic bubble bath whenever she jumped over to hug his arms.

Her heart racing, her eyes glowing, her lips turning into a smile.

She never understood how, why, or where this sensation was coming from. Again, she was only a piece of specialized card paper designed into the form of a popular trading card game. Even if she didn't understand, her body knew what to do with those emotions and act properly. So she didn't look at all out of place or awkward like an alien born on another planet.

Right now, she was experiencing a new emotion. Something that was different when she first met Jack O'Donnell in the flesh, whenever she jumped up to hug his arms, or smile to cheer him up.

It felt painful. Almost like thousands of burning daggers shoved into her heart. The first 100 filled all the surface area, yet the other 900 were forcefully jabbed into her just for kicks and giggles. She didn't recognize this emotion, not exactly. There were moments where she would turn beat red when she saw her Master touch another woman or female Duel Monsters.

But again, this very moment what she was going through was different.

Why?

"…. M… Master?"

"…A…aaaa…"

Jack O'Donnell was dead… or… half-dead. His body was smashed, his clothing was torn, and his skin was engulfed in burns, bruises, and slashed open with rough cuts. Even a surgeon would feel his stomach would flip should this boy be towed into the Operating Room onto a stretcher.

The boy look like he had been bitten alive by a pack of iron-teethed wolves, stomped around by a giant robotic foot, and barely endured a round of thrashings from rocket powered punches.

"… Put him down."

The Dark Magician Girl found him hanging, pinched by the head within the fingers of a Level 8 monster in the form of a goliath Robot, Machine King. The robot goliath made no move or gesture to comply with the Duel Monster girl's demands. Her voice was too small, almost cracking like a mouse before a lion.

"Put Master down… now."

She wasn't scared. That wasn't what she was feeling right this moment. The sensation that was bubbling inside of her small body, felt like it was madly forging spears and swords out of her internal furnace, so she could draw them out and use them against the people she hated the most. That moment when you can't think of anything, but to f**k this person up big time.

… When a maiden see the one she loved being trampled like garbage. That is what Dark Magician Girl Alice was feeling. And she planned to share this newfound emotion, full force.

"BLACK – BURNING!"

The Dark Magician Girl swung her magical scepter. She pooled all of her energy in her small body into the tip of her weapon and launched a devastating black orb full of plasma and lightning. It pulsed with a power that could not be stopped even by 10 concrete walls, and it collided into the armor of the Machine King.

"BLACK BURNING!"

Another ball of black plasma and electricity appeared, smashing into the Machine King's left shoulder.

"BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING!"

More volleys flew over the hills, crashing down onto the Machine Kings waist, legs, and even sucker-punched right in the face.

"BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! BLACK BURNING! **_BLACK BURNIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIING!_** "

The rage of a heart-broken maiden could not be stopped. Not even the trees, rocks, concrete floor, or fountainsin the park were spared. They were all collateral damage under the Spellcaster's wrath. She kept swinging her arms, casting the bullets of black pulse, bombarding just that one spot in the middle of no where, filling the air with smoke and fire.

 ** _"LET GO OF MASTER YOU B*STAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAARD!"_**

It already did after the fifth round, but the girl was too blinded with anger to stop. It was only when her body screamed in agony from all of her muscles tightening, did she force herself to a halt. Sweat dripped down her bare skin, her mouth open to suck in air to fill in her collapsing lungs. Still, nothing fell from her face harder than the broken tears of her eyes.

"M…Master… I'm sorry, I couldn protect you… I'm—"

An iron fist slammed into her body without mercy.

"GUBFFFFF!"

The weight that struck er was much like a semi-truck colloding into a telephone booth, at 100 miles per hour. Complete annihilation. The Dark Magician Girl stood no chance.

"… M…master…."

Blood ruptured from her full lips. Her slender arms twisted at an awkward angle. Her beautiful legs cut and dragged across the ground. It was only did she tumble across the ground into a mangled heap… did she realize her wrath failed to kill the Machine King.

 _"… Hmph. Small game like you shouldn't rise up against the hunter, it's simply a waste of time and efficiency. No, you should have lowered your head for me to pull the trigger."_

A deep yet gentle voice echoed in the shattered park. It felt like a man who had the experience of the greatest big game hunters born from the British Isle. The gentlemen sport where you lead your men to hunt down a single hare, along with a fleet of greyhounds. Sitting up straight, fancy suit on, a monocle on one eye, and a beautiful hunting rifle in their other hand.

The Machine King moved its arms, to shrug off the debris and soot that piled up on its armor. Not a single dent.

 _"This is absolutely no fun. You should be running around like good little hares and give us a challenge in the thrill of pursuing you. That is what traditional hunting is all about."_

The robot goliath opened and clenched its fists, crushing the small rocks in its joints, and started to march across the ground to move up to the 'hare' he had stunned not too long ago. She was blonde in color and a delicacy, definitely a fine catch.

 _"Oh what a bother you lot are. Fine, if you wish for death so readily, I shall not delay you from your fate. Fare thee well."_

And the so called traditional hunter raised its giant robotic foot. A hydraulic pressed to crush scrap metal into cubes. The shadow was right over the Dark Magician Girl, who could not move or speak. She only cried, moving her lips to say 'I'm sorry Master'.

 ***Clonk***

 _"… Now what, you mutt?"_

"… P…put the foot down… or y…you will be shot…."

 ***Clonk***

A small rock was tossed, pathertically. The first five tries, none of them came close to hitting the Machine King while he was ready to squish the Dark Magician Girl under his foot. It was the sixth time did the rock strike his armor, to get his attention.

The first body he had messed up was shaking across the ground. His half-broken arm tossing the next stone. There was no strength to lift the head up, yet the arm kept throwing as much rocks as it could.

 ***Clonk***

It found its mark again.

"I… I said… put the foot down… or I'll… f**king shoot you…"

"Poppycock."

Then the Machine King turned its raised foot to crush Jack O'Donnell.

"…Woh."

A silver moonlight shot out into the air. It crashed into the ankle of the Machine King and forced it to aim somewhere else. It barely crushed the broken highschool boy, missing him entirely by three inches. When the Machine King turned, a boring expression on its electronic face, he received another silvery moonlight slash in the face.

"Woh! Wooh-wow! Wooh! [XP]"

Giving the Level 8 Machine Monster a raspberry, Command Knight slashed her sword again. The Machine King took the third hit to the chest, bouncing it off his armor. He didn't bother moving.

"P-please step back o-o-or I'll u-u-use lethal force!"

"Don't bother telling him his rights! Just shoot the f**ker!"

A bolt of shining blue and a spark of mystic green sprung out from a wall of bushes and slammed into the Machine King. Even with their powers combined, their offensive powers were too small, it didn't even make him flinch. Exiting out from their hiding place, was Silent Magician Level 4 and Magician of Faith. The two low leveled monsters with barely 1300 ATK combined knew the odds were against them, but they still decided to go for the impossible and kick this robot's 8ss.

"P-please surrender while-while you have the ch-chance! Y-you are surrounded!"

"On your knees and beg for mercy you robot b8stard."

 _"Little girls' shouldn't lie, or have a potty mouth."_

"Meap! I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to lie!"

"SHUT THE F**K UP YOU GOD-D8MN RUST BUCKET!"

The Machine King sigh, hearing the wild screams of the Silent Magician Lv 4 and Magician of Faith charging at him. All he had to do was go 'boo' and they changed direction almost instantly.

"Run awaaaaaaay!"

"WHY THE H*LL ARE YOU DRAGGING ME OUT OF THE FIGHT, YOU COWAAAAAARD!"

Now, comes the showdown of the century – Sword and Sorcery VS Modern Warfare.


	59. COUNTERMEASURES

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

 ** _*Happy Thanksgiving everyone, especially you_ Thunderwolf7226. T _hank you for your kind words! (^_^)v*  
_ ~~~Emerald Sonata**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=59=**

 _ **'COUNTERMEASURES'**_

* * *

"You're an idiot… Don't worry, Sadako, you're okay."

"Th-thank you, sniff. I-I tried my best."

"… F**k you jack8ss."

Jack O'Donnell was dragged out of the fight. Even if he didn't suffer 8 broken ribs, a half-demolished arm, a twisted leg, or a black eye on his face, he was no good in a fight between super powered heroes. He was a regular highschool boy, who had mediocre experience in RPGs and Duel Monsters. He was nothing but a dead weight that would get in the way.

So the one facing off the Machine King and his Giga-Tech Wolves, were Dark Magician Girl and Command Knight. With their ATTACK powers combined, it was over 3000, so it should be enough to battle the robot goliath and his mechanical hounds, or to hold them off. But the odds were not in their favor for an absolute favor.

"Fifi, never tell me the odds. Now starting thinking and less yapping."

"THE F**K! I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!"

Silent Magician Lv. 4 wantedto close her ear from all the yelling and cussing, but her hands were tied in using makeshift bandages to patch up Jack O'Donnell. The park had a full service carnival that was now all wrecked and buried in tons of cr*p. Sadako was able to procur some t-shirts meant for prizes, tear them up into fine strips, and bandage the boy. She even found a pickled egg to heal his black eye.

"Gaaah! S-Sadako! It's supposed to be a freshly hard-boiled egg! Th-the vinegar is blinding me!"

"EEEEEEEEEEK! I-I'M SO SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Magician of Faith frowned, gritting her teeth while she blocked out Jack O'Donnell's screams from her ears. She was a Level 3 Spellcaster with an ATK of 300 and don't ask about defence. Simply put, she was f**king useless. She did have an ability where if she is flipped summon, the caster could recall a spell card from the graveyard, but Jack O'Donnell hadn't used any spells since the battle began. Neither were there any random spare cards litters around them, so it was just as difficult.

Absolutely useless.

"Human meat shield."

"F**k you jack8ss!"

Jack O'Donnell tried to think, but the concussion he had wasn't helping to make him plan clearly. Everytime he tried to connect strategies together, it would flutter off like an unleashed puppy.

"This isn't good. Machine King has this stupid effect where it gets 100 attack points for every machine played on the field. He's got about like, what, 10 Giga-tech Wolves tailing him around so he'll definitely be up from 2100 to 3100. Even if Command Knight has the power boost of 600 ATK, it only affects Warriors. You're all spellcasters!"

"I'm sorry. I was born like this. Sniff."

"… Rascist."

Jack O'Donnell petted Sadako on the head and slapped Fifi across the back of the head. He peeked out from behind the corn dog stand that toppled over to see what was happening.

Dark Magician Girl came flying into his face, head first.

"GUBYAAAH!"

"GAFUUUU!"

The two crumbled over like a tower made of cheap corn bread.

"UGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! M-MR. ZOMBIE! MISS ALICE!"

"Don't you dare make me do CPR!"

Sadako and Fifi rushed over to check on the two fallen heroes. They both had a nasty bump on their heads, twisting and turning from the pain in their cranium.

"Master… why didn't you catch me."

"I'm sorry for not burying my face in your breasts."

The extra concussion must have hit them hard, they were talking about random sh*t now. Sadako chanced to peek over, hoping no one comes flying towards her.

"EEP!"

"Hmm?"

Fifi was too curious for her own good, peeking over to see what startled Sadako to hide. History repeated itself.

"AAGUUBFFFBYAAAA!"

"WWWGGUBBFFFFFF!"

The Command Knight was sent flying, her head colliding into Fifi's face. The two ended up mimicking Jack O'Donnell and Dark Magician Girl exactly. Sadako was shaking, because the quaking of the earth below her meant the Machine King was marching over now.

"Wh-what do we do? What do we do? What do we dooooooooooo!?"

"I-I'm trying to think but this god-d mn concussion—Guuh!"

Jack O'Donnell tried to answer, but the concussion was so bad, he ran off into a corner to throw up. Dark Magician Girl was smart, she followed suit.

"Huuuuuurl. O-oh god. M-Master, wh-why does my head hurt so badly the w-world is moving under my fee—Huuuuuurl."

This just got from bad to worse. 90% of the heroic party was next to incapacitated, two hurling, two passed out, and one shaking like a guinea pig. None of them were a match for the monstrosity of a machine.

"Cough Cough… Darn it all, I don't want this to be a last episode!"

"N-none of use does, Master, guh—huuuuuuurl!"

The highschool boy couldn't think. His head hurt too much and he was focusing on not to spill out his guts any more. Too bad for Dark Magicial Girl, still nto used to her human body. The natural reflex to vomit when the fluid inside the inner ears are sloshing around was not something she had any resilience to. Everything she went through was a first time and it felt horrible for her.

Jack O'Donnell knew this (not really) and wanted to at least comfort her, even in their final moments.

"AH!"

Until he saw something that made him turn white all over. But it wasn't as if he was seeing a nightmare come true.

"OVER THERE!"

He pointed, hard and fast, and everyone (save Alice who was still throwing up – someone pull her hair out of the way!) turned to where he set his eyes on.

… A slot machine.

"No! That thing lying on the floor!"

… Oh. It was a type of vending machine where you put in a coin and push in a metal bar to insert it. Upon retrating the bar, it comes out with a hockey card, sticker card, collector card or…. Oh-hooo.

It seemed fortune smiled on the heroic party. As much as everyone in reality knew what Duel Mosnter was, their popularity wasn't had broad as it used to be where children could buy a card from even the vending machines that dispenses plastic toy on a roll.

There was a column inside that old fashion coin machine, that sold Duel Monster cards, for one dollar.

"HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I HAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

"You f**king dumbass! You don't even have the card-GUBYAAAAH!"

To prepare for the final assault, Jack O'Donnell kindly (smashed) put Fifi face-down onto the ground (head first).

"Fifi, stay there and don't stand up until I call you! Pup girl, Alice, hold the line! Sadako, give me logistics!"

"HMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!"


	60. PLASTIC SURGERY

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=60=**

 _ **'PLASTIC SURGERY'**_

* * *

"SWORDS OF REVEALING LIGHT!"

Jack O'Donnell (heavy damage) had begun to play his hand. Realizing there was no way his team could win in a fist to fist fight, he had to use a trick he relied on during the opening of his Duel sessions when he was young.

Sword of Revealing Light. A spell card that allows the caster to keep the opponent from attacking for three turns. As his reality was mixed with the power of Duel Monster, using this playing card grant him the power of a Wizard.

Giant arcs of light in the shape of longswords fell from the heavens, stabbing around the ground in a circle, encasing Jack O'Donnell and his team. It erected a magical field that caught the Machine King's fist and the pack of Giga-tech Wolves from hitting everyone inside. A magnetic force of some kind.

And the boy strategically summoned it around that coin machine he had his eyes on.

"Lady Luck, don't fail me now!"

Jack O'Donnell didn't have much money, but luckily he did had a handful of dollar coins in his pocket, mostly prepared to run into a child with a charity box strapped on his stomach. It would look bad if he didn't have even pocket change to offer for the fundraising of a new water fountain (or 10 speed bike, shrug).

The boy inserted the coin into the machine, shoved in them metal slider, and yanked it out. A piece of card board slipped out from the narrow slow, and he grinned.

"Ha-ha! We've finally turned the tables on—Son of a b*tch."

"Hey… *sshole… What did you do to p*ss off Lady Luck?"

The card Jack O'Donnell received from the first coin slot was… uh… a Spell Card.

Ancient Telescope.

"HOW THE H*LL IS LOOKING AT THE TOP THREE CARDS OF MY OPPONENT'S DECK AND SCREW THEM OVER BY RE-ARRANGING THEM GOING OT HELP ME!?"

He tossed that valuable card aside as if a shady businessmen's name card.

"Round two! Let's do this Lady Luck!"

Insert the coin. Push the metal slider. Retract, cardboard cover ejects.

"….. You… B*tch."

"Did you have a one-night stand with this Lady Luck and never called."

"Shut up, Fifi. Not another word from you… And you' should be on the floor face down!"

"GUBYAAAAAH!"

The second card. Fire Grass. Level 2, Attack Point's – don't mention it.

Toss **.**

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOOOOOOD!"

Luckily, Jack O'Donnell had lots of one dollar coins. He kept inserting and pulling out one brand new card after another. None of them worth Mentioning.

Magnet Warrior #1. Magnet Warrior #2. Petite Dragon. Mokey Mokey. Castle Walls. The rest wasn't even worth mentioning.

"…. You got to be kidding me."

"M-M-Master! Th-the Swords of Revealing Light!"

"Guh! Sh*t! How many turns has it been!?"

Jack O'Donnell completely forgot one major weakness of the spell card Sword of Revealing Light. It was an effect that kept the opponent from attacking with their monster or monsters for 3 turns. Once those three turns had ended, they would be able to attack again.

In this reality, the system was similar. The Swords of Revealing Light were strong and proud right after being summoned. No amount of pounding or hammering would force it to break and collapse. However, it started to fade out over time to the point where all the swords of arcing light were disappearing one by one. What used to be 10 major towers of holy lightswords, became three… ah… make that two.

"NOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!"

Jack O'Donnell scrambled. He had no other fallback plan other than finding a good card from the cursed vending machine. He only had a few coins left, three of them. He had to use them and pray very, very hard, before their defenses collapse!

"Fox One!"

Cemetery Bomb (empty enemy graveyard = useless)

"SH*T! FOX TWO!"

Ancient Telescope (again).

"F**K – YOU!"

Jack O'Donnell almost blew a blood vevssel wen he got the repeat of a viciously useless card. He tore it up, to make himself feel better. But it was pointless as there was only one sword left, and tis own light was starting to fade. If that shatters now, then everyone inside was done for.

"MASTER! HURRY!"

"M-MR ZOMBIE! TH-THE DOGGIES ARE GOING TO EAT US!"

"WOH! WOOH!"

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Last coin. All or nothing. No turning back. Hit or miss, the final draw was going to decide the fate of this battle. And Jack O'Donnell pulled a Fox 3.

"….LADY LUCK, YOU GOD-D MN BBIIIIIIIIIIIIii,uuuuu,uuuuuuuu,uueeatiful woman… Hu-hu…"

At first, Jack O'Donnell thought he failed. He believed he had pulled out another bad card. He was going to tear it up, when his instincts stopped him before the sides started to get wrinkled. Not believeing himself, he slowly flipped the card to see what it was.

…DNA Surgery.

"…Wait… how is this going to help me?"

The answer was there, but it didn't click to him. It took him a long and thoughtful while for him to try and decipher this sudden draw of a half-rare card.

DNA Surgery… DNA Surgery… Where had he heard of this card befo…. **Oh**.

It was this point, where the last Sword of Revealing Light Shattered under the Machine King's fist. Its giant blow that could part clouds with a single swing came crashing down onto Jack O'Donnell and his party of Spellcasters and one Warrior.

It was over.

"Checkmate."

And the broken Jack O'Donnell had this ugliest sh*t eating grin ever known to man kind. All because he played his last trump card.

"TRAP ACTIVATE! DNA – SURGERY!"


	61. VALKYRIE RIDE

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=61=**

 _ **'RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES'**_

* * *

DNA Surgery.

It was a unique Trap Card with an effect that could alter the basic information of every monster card played on the field. It also had a Continuous status, so its powers could still be in play until the end of the game or another spell / trap card destroys it.

The description are as followed: _All monsters in play will have their type changed to the designated Monster Type declared by the caster._

…

Repeat: All monsters in play will have their original type **changed** to the designated Monster Type declared by the caster.

==Meaning.

If the caster chose Aqua cards, all monster – regardless of player or enemy's – are considered Aqua monsters. If the caster chose Dinosaur, all monsters were considered Dinosaur types.

This was beneficial for some strategies involving, turning all species into the type that fits with a Field Spell in Play, remove the condition where only monsters of this trait can get benefits or protection from Spells and Traps, or even make the enemy susceptible to destruction by the effect of another monster care or Spell / Trap Card.

==So for example.

If Jack O'Donnell had the balls to select 'Warrior' type, all monsters in battle are turned into a Warrior.

"Oh! M-Master! M-my wizard robes are changing! Uwa-uwa-uwa, th-this armor is so beautiful!"

"Gyaah! Wh-why is my magical stick turning into a dagger? A-am I a Rogue?"

"THE H*LL IS WRONG WITH THIS!? WHO THE F**K DESIGNED THIS BIKINI ARMOR!? I'LL STRANGLE HIM!"

A change had occurred in the battlefield. Every Duel Monsters were magically affected by the special trap card's power, turning their status to another designation. All the magic-slinging Spelclasters transformed into an sword-swinging Warrior, their armor and general appearance themed after medieval knights and paladins.

Even the Machines in combat were turning. The Giga-Tech Wolves were forced to transform into platinum knights with wolf helmets and shield. And the Machine King.

 _"Wh-what is this Sorcery! M-my body is changing!"_

The Machine King turned into a humanized version of his original body. His armor bore strong resemblance to his mechanical body, his face sporting a human look with a full beard. A large gauntlet on his one arm and a tower shield on his other, he was too confused to accept this new form he adopted.

Best part is, he was both squishy AND the same height as Jack O'Donnell.

"… Girls… gut him."

The Ride of the Valkyries could be heard playing on full blast on the stereo.

 _"P-PROTECT THE KING! PROTECT THE KING!"_

Despite being mechanical units previously, the Giga Teach Wolf Knights were able to form up a considerable defense, creating a wall with their tower shields and bracing for an attack with their swords.

They couldn't swing for sh*t.

"GAAAH!"

"GUUHF!"

"GUBYAAAH!"

One by one the Knights who instinctively snapped their human maws were punched in the face by slender fists. They were still animals by instinct, doing what animals do best. Biting.

 _"WHY THE BLAZES ARE MY MEN DROPPING LIKE FLIES!?"_

"Hu-hu-hu…Ever heard of can't teach your old Rottweiler new and fancy tricks! GYAAA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAA!"

A maniacal laughterbefitting of a demon king of the sixth heaven could be heard in the throng of war and battle. The Spellcasters turned Valkyries raged across the park ground, leaping over broken horses from merry-go-rounds, to cast down their thunder, judgement, and swords of justice!

They were strong… stronger than expected.

"Master! Master! Look! I can throw a cart at them with one arm! Tee-hee!"

"Uwa-uwa-uwa. I-I never knew I could cut through their armor as if butter."

"Kyaa-haa-haaaa! Bend over you b*tches, I'm gonna mow you all down!"

Dark Magician Girl, Silent Magician Level 4, and Magician of Faith had received a power boost after their classes changed to Knight Status. It's all thanks to Command Knight, the Warrior girl who had the special ability of increasing 600 ATTACK points for every Warrior Monster on the caster's field.

So now, Alice was battling the Giga-Tech Wolves with two swords instead of one, Sadako wielded a short sword over a dagger, and Fifi was stabbing the wolf-knight with her extended spear right up their 8ssess. A total massacre.

"… Woh (-_-)."

"D-don't look at me, Pup girl. It's not my fault you're already a Warrior type so you don't have much change! N-now stop moping around and get back into the fight!"

"Woooooh…sniff. (T^T)"

With a hack-n-slash there, a 1000 thrust here, and a backstab here… the Machine King's (warrior) had lost his army in a single day.

 _"Th-this is unacceptable! Th-the rules of engagement have been skewed In your favor! I-I demand a reset"_

"Yeah, no."

 ** _*WHAM! CRACK BOOM!*_**

 _"GYABUUUFFGGG!?"_

The Machine King, a humanized warrior king with 3100 ATTACK points was being b8tch slapped around by four warriors girls. Each of them were not a match to the Machine King's augmented attack power, there was no way. Even with the 600 ATTACK power boost, it was not enough to surpass his offensive capabilities with raw physical strength.

Yet, they were kicking his *ss hard as if he was one of those punching bozos. He literally flips back up after being socked in the bearded face.

 _"WAIT! GUGI! S-STOP! AAWUH! TH-THE SCORE DOESN'T ADD UP!"_

"Hmm. You're right, if you were still a robot, there's no way we'd win, Mr. Tin Can. But mind re-telling us your ability!"

 _"Y-you fool! Ow! I-I become stronger from the number of machine serv—Guggff!?—servants I have at my disposal! Even if they are on the floor out cold, I still have their powers!"_

"Are they machine or knights?"

 _"Knights of…Ah—GAAAAH! M-MY FAMILY JEWELS!"_

The enemy in human form had a sudden revelation - and then got kicked in the balls by Knight Fifi with her knew iron boots (note, super pointy).

Machine King gets 100 ATTACK Points for every Machine card placed on the field, both caster and enemies. Like he mentioned, even if the Giga-Tech Wolves turned human wolf-knights were down, he still had their power. So why?

The reason was simple. The status has changed.

That fine reading of **ALL MACHINE** monsters on the field, did not match with **ALL WARRRIOR** monsters on the field.

Therefore.

"You've lost the second you had that plastic surgery."

"FOUL PLAY! FOUL PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Jack O'Donnell grinned, watching Dark Magician Girl, Silent Magician Level 4, Magician of Faith, and Command Knight just beat the sh*t out of the old man Machine King warrior. The poor sod was buried alive by their Valkyrie punches and kicks, to the point where anyone could hear his bone breaking from the punishment.

 _"AAAAAH! A HORSE! A HORSE! MY KINGDOM FOR A - guweeeeeeh (x_X)"_

One kick to the face put him out of his misery. Note, it was a high-heeled armored boot.

...

The fight was over. The park was no longer a battlefield of life and death, but a regular park that had been mercilessly crushed and covered in the corpses of carnival games and stalls. A complete mess.

But Jack O'Donnell didn't care. He wasn't the one pulling some secret strings to bring ruin and world domination from a secluded room filled with computer monitors. He wasn't the mastermind who staged a grand play of heroes and villains fighting in this location. No, he was just another casualty of war and had nothing to do with the damages - or, that is what he keeps telling himself right now.

So, even if he started to hear sirens in the background, he need not flee the scene of the crime as if the culprit on the run... but, it wouldn't hurt to casually run-walk his way off the scene. No need to be caught in a needless misunderstanding, no?

"I need a shower."

"Guh!? N-now that you mention it, y-yeah you do, jack8ss! Wh-why do you smell like the men's bathroom!?"

"Oh. Fifi. I didn't know you're the type of person who sneaks into the boy's room to install secret cameras."

"Take that back, or I'll neuter you."

Fifi held aloft her Moon-shaped magical scepter, her body returning to her original form after the effects of DNA Surgery wore off. She set her eyes on Jack O'Donnell, who gave her the same look a fish placed on a market tray would to people planning to buy it and cut it up for fish soup. Also, she kept her distance of about 10 meters, as if afraid the smell coming off him will infect her youth.

"Do you need to touch me with a f**king 39.5 foot pole?"

"M-Mister Zombie (breath-pinch nose). H-how come you sm-smell like this (breath-pinch nose). I-it hurts my stomach (cough cough)."

"...About that: a f**king puppy peed on me."

Jack O'Donnell let out a sigh... before shooting a cold-hearted glanced directly at Command Knight. Unknown by the others, the Warrior Duel Monster girl turned redder than her armor and looked away. My, the sky is so blue today, is what she was whistling about.

"... D-don't worry, M-Master. I-I still love you no matter h-how messy y-you are!"

"Then come hither and give your dear Master a hug... Oh Alice, why do you avoid me so? Did you not just confess your undying love? Why doth thou avert thy gaze on my figure!?"

And that was that.

...

...

 ** _=END TURN=_**


	62. MIDSUMMER KISS

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=62=**

 _ **'MIDSUMMER NIGHT DREAM'**_

* * *

"… Alice. I must have you."

"M-master!? W-wait, I-I'm c-completely d-defenseless in the bath!"

Everything started with a lovely bath scene. After our certain party of certain heroes had survived another war against renegade machine beasts, they miraculously were able to return to Jack O'Donnell's house to save their progress and conduct a short/long rest to recharge their magic, spell points, and health. In other words, it was a coffee break in the epic plot where Duel Monsters have become real and are wreaking havoc in the world as we speak (did you look outside your window?).

The house was a simple and very regular looking resident with two floors and a nicely pointed roof. As it rained all the time, the gutters were constantly kept clean by the local gutter-cleaner (shrug) and were covered in water-proof tiling. The front porch was made out of regular concrete with a nice oyster-shell white color and the door was snow white. There was a living room, a dining room, and three rooms and several storage closets and pantry.

The reason to provide these useless details in an important time like this was simple. The situation in the regular bathroom was not regular at all.

"Alice. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment to throw myself onto you."

"M-Master. Y-you're eyes are so scary, b-but I can't look away f-from them. M-my heart is beating too fast for my chest to keep inside. I-I feel so swoony. Uwa-uwa-uwa."

There was a beautiful girl sitting in the regular bathtub. It was filled to the brim with hot water and mixed with fine scented bath oils as well as a flurry of nice bubbles. The girl was not human, but a Spellcaster from a series of Duel Monsters who possessed humanoid features (breast, hips, and waist). As she wasn't a normal human, she had never tried a hot bubble bath before. The second she dipped herself in this watery fantasy, she swore she will never leave. Until her skin becomes wrinkly, but she isn't aware of the physiology of the human body (yet).

Though she was not a human girl, she acted like one by sagging inside the hot tub, letting the warm water and oils soak into her soar muscles and arms. It felt like she was being massaged, but nothing was touching her. Wonderful. She thanked whatever cataclysmic catastrophe that was responsible in turning all the Duel Monsters into real creatures invading out world.

However, even though she wasn't exactly a 100% normal girl – she was still female. Having a boy barge into her bath time wasn't exactly a nice moment. And that was the issue right now when the boy she once looked up to as a Duelist (during her card days), kicked open the bathroom door with the power of a military breach charge.

The door was dead on the ground, the poor hinges twisted. Like a victim on the battlefield. Standing over the corpse, was Jack O'Donnell (?)

"… You look beautiful."

"W-wait. D-don't look at my body when you say that! I-it'll give me the wrong idea, Ma-Master."

"I mean it. I've always wanted to **** you."

"THAT'S TOO DIRECT!"

The Duel Monster girl, a Dark Magician Girl by the name of Alice, wanted to leap out of the bath, somersault over the boy, snag a towel to cover her dripping body (soap and water), and run away with tears. But a rough hand shot out and pinched her wrist, anchoring her down. It somehow negated her acrobatics skills right off the bat.

"M-Master. No. W-we can't do this. I-it's only for married people to, to do. Y-you know…"

"Like I said. I don't care. I want you and I want you now. I'll make you my girl."

"…,...,...,...,...,...,...,...,... ** _*Heavy Breathing* (O.O)_** "

Dark Magician Girl didn't understand. Was this the same Jack O'Donnell who she served as his Trump Monster Card during his younger days as a Duelist. True, he gave up on it all when he left his home in the country side to grow up in the city. The pressure of society's expectation and the belittling of people with pure hearts and vivid fantasy was too much for him. He truly gave up on the happiness of dueling he once had, his happiness in keeping Dark Magician Girl as his number one card in his deck. He was sour because of the world. He no longer felt love.

But, all that changed when he stormed into Dark Magician Girl's bath, take her arm forcefully, and lean close to her bare body when she was at her most vulnerable. If it weren't for Mr. Soap, the censorship ratings and legalities would be off the chart.

 **"Alice. I love you."**

"Uwaaaah! M-master finally said it! H-he finally said the killer hearts that will automatically sweep my heart away!"

"I've always wanted to date you, but you were just a plastic trading card then. But now, you have a body! A hot one! It can trump any model in the world and I'm happy!"

"Gyaah! Gyaah! M-my perfect body is being pr-praised like a goddess!"

"You are beauty! You are perfection… Let me have you, ALICE!"

"YES! PLEASE TAKE ME, DARLING! LET ME BEAR YOUR CHILDREN! LET'S HAVE 30—Heh? WHOOP!?"

 _ ***THUNK!***_

The sound of a body rolling off a couch and smacking into the hard floor could be heard in the living room. A pair of long and beautiful legs that had kicked off their blue boots could be seen, one flopping to the ground and the other hanging over the couch's arm. A beautiful face was flattened into the carpet and it hurt. The sweet, sweet dream of mid-summer night love was broken into a million pieces. Even the fragments could be salvaged, it would be nothing but a stained glass window with pieces missing to tell the true story of what happened in her mind. She only knew one thing.

"WHO THE H*LL KICKED ME OFF AND RUIN MY BEAUTY SLEEP! I WAS GETTING TO THE GOOD PART WHERE MASTER RAVAGES ME WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!"

"Seriously blonde, either you're a masochist or you're a god-d&mn pervert…. Let's call you a perverted masochist for simplicity."

Dark Magician Girl was, obviously (sadly), clothed in her distinct blue and pink framed spellcaster robe. Her sea-shell like wizard hat was skewed on her head and she had a nasty bruise on her nose from the fall. Unfortunately, she woke up to find herself not floating in a tub full of hot water and aromatic bubbles. Neither was there any boy in the vinicity to jump and ravage her as she wanted.

It was just a Level 3 Spellcaster with a dark-navy robe, crescent-moon staff, and a trademark snarl on her small face. If she wasn't sneering, she would have been mistaken as cute.

"Times up, Goldiwhore. It's my turn to take a nap on the couch. Now go and play with that mutt in red armor that barks a nonsensical phrase."

The girl who kicked Dark Magician Girl Alice off, was none other than Magician of Faith, also forcefully known as Fifi. The girl grimaced as she walked around the couch she just cleared open, to flop across it like a bed.

"… If you'll excuse me. I'm tired. I need my beauty rest. And no, I'm not going to dream of some &sshole punk walking in on my bath and me playing the docile girl who wants a good fuc—"

"D-DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD! IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE A GIRL WITH NO MORALS!?"

"Then what the h*ll is your role in this story if that isn't in your typecasting?"

"…. You don't mind if I strangle you in your sleep, right? This pillow looks so nice and fluffy, I guess it's filled with thick goose down."

"Make my day, blonde b*tch. I'll gut you with my sceptre until your entrails are up between your legs and out—GUWHMMMMFFFF!"

"Oh? You think I was just bluffing? Fu-fu-fu (haughty laugh). Obviously, you forgot that I have a Dark Alignment… And isn't it ironic a Wind-type Spellcaster like you is suffocating like this. Fu-fu-fu."

"MMMMM! MMMMMMMMFFF! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMFFF!"

And they had lots of pillow fighting afterwards.


	63. WHEN RINGS CRY

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=63=**

 _ **'WHEN THEY CRY RING(wolf)'**_

* * *

"UGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! S-SOMETHING'S CRAWLING OUT OF THE TV BOOOOOOX!"

"… Oh. Miss Alice. Pfuu. It's you. Pffuuu. I'm sorry, I was curious in how this box that could project animated images onto the glass screen works. Pfuu. U-um, could you help me pull back the hair from my face, pffuu."

 ** _Rings_**. If you haven't watched the movie – DON'T. Just know the most iconic moment in the film was this beautifully stark-white and pale-looking girl with uber-long black hair all over her face crawling out of a small television box and hobbling towards the viewer. It was a Japanese horror classic that paved its way into the entertainment and Hollywood districts and even sired over millions of memes and parodies / replication as children of the corn… **_god_**.

Hence, why a certain Silent Magician Lv 4 spooked a certain Dark Magician Girl when she crawled on her hands and knees out of the screen of a TV in Jack O'Donnell's house. She was beautifully stark-white and pale-looking, that or maybe it was the black lubricant and some wired smoke that stained her face to give it a bit of a sooty look like a chimney sweeper. She usually kept her hair neat and tidy under her hair, but working inside a cramp space knocked it off and pulled out her hairpins that kept it all together.

So, all of it was flailing around her face like some kind of wandering spirit. Would it be crude irony if her name was Sadako?

"D-don't scare me li-like that! I-I'm hu-human now, I-I have something c-called a critical organ that pumps real blood inside my body! Th-the last thing I want to experience as a living being is cardiac arrest! I-I haven't even been physically born for more than two days!"

"I-I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to scare you. Pffuuu. I-I was really interested in the workings of this glass box when it was able to project moving images so easily. Pffuu. I wanted to see what kind of spell or enchantment is making it run like this. Pffuuu. Achhooo! M-Miss Alice, c-could you please pull my hair out of my face. I-it's making my nose, pfuuu, itch!"

"… Woh. Mugu. Mugu."

Sitting next to a dismantled television box, was a peculiar sight. It was one that would make many men around the world, married / engaged / girlfriend or not, to go gaga. A mature looking Command Knight woman wearing nothing but a large male-T-Shirt. And since it was made out of very thin material, the fine silhouette of her curves (all of it) could be seen if she stood in front of a light source.

"Woh… Woh… Tasty. Woh (^v^)"

The Command Knight was this Level 4 Warrior type Duel Monster who would normally be seen in a stunning red and gold-framed armor and shield. Wielding a silver sword and feathers on her helmet, she would be close in resemblance to a Norse Valkyrie (she was not, unfortunately). The reason why she was just wearing a large male t-shirt on her chaste body was very simple. Several chapters ago, she had an accident. It involved the smell of ammonia (look it up). It was the type of accident children would often have when they don't go to the bathroom before going on a long trip or before they slip into bed. Obviously, she had a thorough bath before she came back outside into the living room. As if to add defensive measures, she smelled of laundry-detergent class lilac and vermilion.

And since she fell on top of Jack O'Donnell, when the accident occurred, it was obvious that he was the next to shower right after her. Therefore, she was wearing a t-shirt for more than fanservice purposes…. Now, why she was licking a screwdriver like a candied stick, god knows.

"Hey! Wait! Red girl! Stop! Y-you don't eat a screwdriver! You don't know wh-where's that been given the importance of its design to fix anything with screws in every corner of the house! It could have been used in the bathroom to fix a light bulb mount! A-also, the way you're licking it i-is kind of giving me very bad ideas and I can't corrupt Master with those images! I SAID DON'T STUFF THE HANDLE DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

For the record, this screwdriver was brand new. It was still in a packaged seal and left in the tool box until a certain Silent Magician Level 4 opened it for the first time today. Rest assured World Health Organization.

"Woh! Nnno! Mine food! Fight me! Woh! (-x-)"

"C-can someone please help me, pfuuu, p-pull back my hair, pfuuu! I-I'm going to, a…aaah…aaaaa-chii! Guuuuh. Pfuu!"


	64. RASHAMON 2017

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=64=**

 _ **'RASHAMON 2017'**_

* * *

A boy in only a towel walks into the living room.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SADAKO! THE F**K!? WHY DID YOU MURDER MY TV!? WHAT THE H*LL DID IT EVER DO TO YOU!? TWO-TIMING ON YOU WITH A FICTIONAL MISTRESS!?"

"Pfuuu! I-I can't see you, pfuu! Please someone help me tie up my, pfuuu! Hair—Achii!"

"M-Master! Y-you're re-response to-to this little girl c-crawling out of the tv box like a ghost i-isn't th-the reaction of what I was expecting! D-don't you h-have some inkling of fear when you-KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MASTER! Y-YOU CAN'T SHOW UP IN ONLY A T-TOWEL IN FRONT OF A M-MAIDEN! Y-YOU HAVE TO GIVE HER TIME TO P-PREPARE HER HEART FIRST BEFORE WE ACHIEVE SUCH A C-CRITICAL STAGE IN OUR MASTER AND SERVANT RELATIONSHIP!"

"Don't get any wrong ideas! I cut my shower time short when I heard screaming. The next time someone sounds like a victim in a murder mystery, call 911 before you drag me out of a bath! I'm not this uber-detective protagonist who comes to the scene and knows what's what by looking at the environment evidence! Screw that, I'm still struggling with my grades in Social Studies!"

"A-at least cover yourself up, Master! Y-you're giving m-my chaste heart too many i-ideas! Uwaah! I-I feel blood coming out of my nose!"

"Then how about stop staring below my waist and up here above my neck! No! That's my chest, and no, as a guy I don't have to cover them up!"

"… Woh, mugu, mugu."

"And you, Pup! The h*ll are you biting on my wrench like that! Stop manhandling it and give it back to me!"

"Keh!? M-Master! M-my eyes may be c-covered from y-your shameless confidence in-in your body, b-but do you really have to have an audial affair right in front of me like that!?"

"Alice. You've been watching too much dirty stuff. From now on, it's only children TV shows to purify your mind… And someone help Sadako! The poor girl is going to pop her tiny lungs if she keeps trying to puff her hair out of her face!"

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! WILL EVERY ONE OF YOU MORONS JUST SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE! I DON'T CARE IF YOUR ALL LEVEL 4 AND HIGHER, CAN'T A SPELLCASTER GET ANY DECENT REST WITHOUT YOU MONKEYS THROWING YOUR SH*T ALL OVER THE PLACE!"

"… Fifi…is that my ice cream in your hand."

"Tch. It's rather bland, really. I personally would prefer Hazel Nut and Cookie Crumbles. This Mint junk is just sh—GYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETKKKKKK! Wh-what a…are you doing…kuuffhhh…"

"…Strangling you. Why do you ask?"

"I-I'll… come back… f….from the… graaaaave yyyyyyrddddddkkkkk."

"You do realize neither of us has Monster Reborn, yes?"

"M-Master! S-stop! Stop! Y-you're going to p-pop that girl's poor head off if you keep holding her carotid artery like that! Uwaaah. I-I could hear the popping of her cerebral spinal column. W-we should call someone for CPR-R."

"S-stay out of this…. Magic…. Cow… whore."

"Master. Please continue. I shall not interrupt you."

"Guuukkkkk…. M…mercy… help….kkkk…"

"Don't worry Fifi. If manslaughter were to occur, I'll be reviving you would be the first thing I do when I finally find Monster Reborn. Please rest assured."

"Pfuuu… Wh-what's going on? Pfuu. Wh-why do I hear a balloon deflately. Pfuu… Achii!"

"…Woh…. Lick. Lick… Chuuu."

And that was the end of the fanservice chapter.


	65. GAME OF FOOD

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=65=**

 _ **'GAME OF MEALS'**_

* * *

"Hey… B*stard... What is this?"

"Five star microwave dinner. Problem?"

Jack O'Donnell had found his equilibrium. After he cleansed off the ammonia of a hot warrior girl from his body, exchanged his towel for a shirt and pants, he finally felt the hunger settling on his weary stomach. He didn't know how long he had a decent meal. The last few days felt like he was a fugitive on the run, surviving on only scraps of food he acquired on the go or cheap half-priced ready-to-eat meals from convenience stores.

He was attacked by Red Eyes Black Dragon, Insect Queen, hordes of Zombie Monsters, Dark Necrofear, Cyber Falcon, Machine King, and other cr*p he didn't want to think about. He even slept in a graveyard overnight and the tombstones were not the best of pillows.

Now, he was home. The anchor that was connected to his normal life was still here. Nothing had changed. No monster swooped down from the sky to crush it under its talons. No demon monster girls were knocking on his door to forcefully mount him and sap out his precious spiritual energy. And even the house to house salesmen who pitched a random item every week was no where to be seen or heard (hopefully, a Berformet Fusion Monster would seek them out as sustenance).

So, the normal highschool boy with struggling grades was home now safe and sound… albeit with four girls sitting at the same table he usually shared meals with his family.

A Level 6 Dark Magician Girl (Alice), Level 3 Magician of Faith (Fifi), Level 4 Silent Magician (Sadako), and Level 4 Command Knight (NAME PENDING) were sitting around the dinner table. They look like they just came out of a small brawl that turned up in a local bar. Some of them have bruises on their eyes and some cut on their cheeks. Sadako's hair was, at least, tied back properly and with some uneven bobby hairpins Jack O'Donnell swiped from his sister's drawer. He was no hair-stylist, so her _'just got out of bed, but too lazy to comb her hair'_ look was sufficient. Too bad it didn't make her smile in appreciation.

"Alright everyone, eat up."

"Hey Jack*ss. What was my black box called again? It's all yellow and sticky… and what the h*ll is this white stuff in the corner?"

"General Tao Chicken with rice. No need to add any innuendos. Right now, I'm tired. I don't want to stomach them."

Jack O'Donnell can cook. He was a decent cook, as most of the time he would prepare his own lunches as well as his sister's lunch (coerced to). His mother was just as great a cook, but she was busy at work (it seems as the house was empty when he came back), so it was just him.

As much as he was a decent cook who was well versed in both Western and Asian flair, he was tired. And like any professional chef coming home after a long day of work, a cup of instant noodle warming the belly was the most satisfying. No Salisbury steak with mushroom sauce, apple roulade with dried figs, or a chicken cordon with blue cheese. Non. Nein. Nyet.

Mircowave food will suffice.

"Oh! M-Master! Th-these yellow rubber bands are delicious… but… these orange plastic stripes… aren't that appetizing."

"It's Chow Mein, Alice. And eat your carrots."

"M-Mr. Zombie, sir. C-could you tell me what dish am I having? Th-there's something very red in the corner of this box. Is it… blood?"

"Hungry Manners Classic. Roast Pork with Mash Potatoes, Sweet Corn, and Cranberry Sauce… Now, don't be picky and try it out. It never hurts to explore new flavors on a day like this."

"…Woh (T_T)."

"Frankly, I would just give you a bone and kick you outside for what you did to me this afternoon. But since I'm merciful, you have left overs from dinner – five days ago. I don't remember what it is, but if a puppy could swallow it down without choking, you should be fine."

"…Woh! (^_^)…Munch, munch—Hurk! (OxO)."

"God-D*mn it puppy girl!"

After three minutes worth of Heimlich maneuvers, Jack O'Donnell had no choice but to forfeit his dish of roasted lamb and grilled zucchini (left overs from the previous night) to the weakest of them all.

"...WUV YOU! Mugu, mugu. Fu-fu-fu. (^v^)"

"SO THIS WAS YOUR INTENT ALL ALONG! YOU TAIL-WAGGING TRAITOR! I WAS TRICKED BY YOUR PUPPY EYES AND GAVE UP MY ONE CHANCE TO FILL MY EMPTY STOMACH WITH RICH PROTEIN AND MINERALS! VER-DAMMIT!"

Somehow, in the exchange of food, plates, and violent words, the atmosphere felt heavy from a maidenly killing intent.

"… Master… How come she gets the roasted lamb and I have these evil carrots?"

"M-Miss Alice, do you want some of my mashed potatoes… Y-you can't have any of the cranberry sauce, i-it's mine!"

"… I still can't see how this sticky glob is chicken and this white stuff is rice… It looks like sper—"

"Eat. Or no dinner, ever."

That night, only the sound of spoons rapidly scraping up whatever was left on the plate could be heard before an unknown secret police comes to confiscate what remained. Nothing was left on their plastic trays to spare.

"No. You all may not look at me to microwaves seconds. We're done."

"... Wuuuh."

"... Sniff."

"... Uuuuh."

"... Jack ss."

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU ALL DRIVE ME INSANE!"

Also, Jack O'Donnell's food reserves took a major crash that same night.


	66. LADY'S HOMECOMING

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=66=**

 _ **'A LADY'S HOMECOMING'**_

* * *

"Oh me oh my. It's such a lovely night."

Out in the city, where the story takes place. It was currently being overrunned by the appearances of Duel Monsters, creatures born from the art on a popular dueling trading card game. They were well known around the globe, and now that they are invading in all corners of that same globe, the people in the city had mixed feelings. Some were of astonishment and the glow of their dreams come true.

Some thought Judgement Day came early and wasn't happy in how the markets and stocks were falling so steeply.

Either way, the world was not destroyed. Not yet. There were, fortunately, a majority of Duel Monsters who could co-exist with the human race. For example, the Happy Lover. A little creature best described as a puff ball with angel wings and a halo above its… body, granting its blessing for young couples on the street. (Side note: Two years later, they will have this memorable proposal on a Ferris Wheel, and conceive their first child on the same day and place.)

There was an occurrence of a Warrior from Lanstar springing into action to stop a shady thug from molesting an innocent school girl. Marshmallon rolling into a bankrobbing and reflecting bullets away from SWAT troopers and back at the armed bandits. Seiyaryu holy dragon flying in to traffic anyone wounded from encounters with a renegade Saber Beetle or Trap Master to the nearest hospital. To even a Beautiful Head Huntress and Kanan being scouted out to become the next pop idol (Beautiful Kanan).

It was kind of a 50/50 opportunity for Duel Monsters to live amongst those who once used them in their battles during their youth, or a chance to unleash their full powers to conquer the pitiful world before them.

There was, one particular Duel Monster who was neither the 50% who want peace, or the 50% who want world domination. Rather, she was right in between the two, the microscopic and next to non-existent middle / grey area. **Yes** , a she. It wasn't exactly a humanoid Duel Monster, neither was she looking like her original art, but there is one major detail clear.

She had this big*ss spider body (no puns intended or targeted) for her lower half, and a beautiful as f**k upper half of a woman in a kimono (no fanservice intended or targeted). Doing things a bit differently, she had her robes falling off her small and slender shoulder, as if the coefficient of friction on her smooth skin was next to zero. There were some highly refined tattoos of a dragon curled around a lovely cherry blossom tree. It kind of remind a wary man to **_back the f**k up_** from Yaku*a territory. Gulp.

"It truly is a splendid night. To hear the cries of anguish and the moaning of dwindling hope. Ooooh. How I can't wait to indulge myself tonight!"

The spider woman… ahem. The spider woman was standing upon a tall building upon a tall hill. It was high enough to peer above the high trees, to see the landscape of the city under the deep night in a full 180 panorama. The sound of a tongue licking lips while the eyes twinkled from the sight of millions of electrical lights glittering in the dark oasis could be heard. Like fireflies drifting on a pond, ready to be snatched up by frogs. The air was cold, but the winds non-existent. It was a good night for someone to leap from one roof top over another to cover enough ground from Point A to Point B in a matter of seconds or minutes. However, the gaps between these structural platforms were too great. Not even a Parkour Master could accomplish this feat with shifting weight and mass alone, or without cheating.

The spider woman, on the other hand, had no issue. Her 8 arachnic legs had enough jumping power to outmatch a combat robot with reverse leg systems. Traveling the distance twice as far and twice is fast was something she could do. But then someone in the back of the row would stand up and go 'wait, doesn't she have webs. She can sling around like Tom H*lland in that movie, right?'. Yes, that was right. No, she didn't use it for those purposes... Hmm. Let's just simplify it as this.

The woman's webs were reserved for a high level degree of... _artistic kinky play_... Yes.

"Fu-fu-fu (haughty laugh). I wonder what type of victims should I try out tonight? I wonder. An Office Lady? A School Girl? Or maybe a Celebrity? Ooooh. How I would love to seem the lines of their deep mascara melting as they plea to me to let them go, I have a family to feed, and other nonsensical garbage like that… Hu-hu-hu. I would be most pleased if I can break them down so finely, that they'll feel nothing but pleasure as they hold up Victory signs with their hands."

To simply put, this sadistic spider woman was a perverted idiot.

"…And everything has to go with warm sake… Hmm. How should I heat it up? On their bottoms or their thighs?"

Scientifically, it would take forever for body heat to increase the temperature of a liquid without mechanical or microwaving aid. Cuddling was one thing, but nuking food fresh from the freezer, na-ah honey no.

"… So bored."

Maybe planning wasn't the spider woman's strong suit. Already 10 minutes of fantasizing, and she felt her body going numb and heavy. It's like she was like a student about to fall asleep in history class.

"No! I must stay vigilante! I want to hear the purity of girly screams at its finest hour! Yes! Ooooh, how my body is tingling from devouring their minds in my beautiful webs in all delicious angles!"

Feel free to slap her if you meet her. She's the size of a Volkswagan Beetle, but she was the type of person you could easily beat up with a Webster Dictionary or Encyclopedia of Britannica. Baseball bats would be overkill, but if she swept away your sweatheart - then by all means have at her.

"….Uuuh…..S…So sleepy…Nyaah! Wake up! Slap slap! I need my mind cleared for the up coming punishment!"

Without further ado, the Spider Woman was about to take off into the night… to deliver her own fashion of 50% wanting to live with humans and 50% wanting to dominate humans.

"Wait for me my little pretties. Mama Web is coming to pick you up to play!"

And with a elegant spider leap—

 ** _*GOOOOONG!*_**

"GUYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

—The church bell she was standing next to on the roof screwed up her timing. The big ss Spider woman fell off the five story structure with beautiful scream.

Her name? Would you believe this narrator if her card title read: JIRAI GUMO (ATK: 2200, DEF: 1000).


	67. PERCHANCE DREAM

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=67=**

 _ **'PERCHANCE TO DREAM'**_

* * *

"M-Master. I-I'm scared of the dark. C-could I sleep with you?"

"I know there's only one bed in my room suite, but do all three of you need to register your name on it? Is this some tactic to reduce the price of the rental costs!?"

Jack O'Donnell was not happy. Rather, he was in a tight pinch. After his party of Duel Monster Spellcaster girls finished their dinner, finished their antics, and finished some side-arguments of who will watch the last episode of whatever TV show they were watching, there was the issue of arranging beddings. Now, of course, rogue or not, Jack O'Donnell wasn't a bad person. Neither was he a gentlemen, but he had some decency in offering to sleep in the living room on the couch. However, he only had this one single person bed in his room to available (tourist seasons).

There were three girls. Dark Magician Girl, Silent Magician Lv 4, Magician of Faith, and Command Knight. They were of differing size, but no matter how many times he does the math, the number still adds up to 4. A single bed could not support four grown people, let alone four grown women. As much as it is a beautiful sight for the lonely eyes, it's really the issue of physics and mass distribution than defying the natural laws for the sake of fanservice.

"… Are you calling me Fat, Master?"

"I didn't say anything, Alice. You must be imagining things."

"But the way you're glancing at my belly and then at the bed suggest otherwise. Were you trying to guess my weight ratio?"

"Alice. I'm tired, I want to solve this crisis and go to bed. Do you think I'm in the mood to calculate one's weight by a single eye glance. I'm not some sailor with 10 years experience on a warship, where I can calculate the physical drop, wind resistance, or Coriolis Effect to fire a direct hit of a cannon shell. My math grades do not reflect that level of genius."

"Master. You're just avoiding the obvious questions which I have given to you. You think I'm fat, don't you? How hard is it to give me an honest answer? And with that messed up analogy you just threw out, I felt like my mass was being compared to the tonnage of a German Battleship. Is that true?"

"Judging by the killer yandere like glint in your eye, telling you the truth would be sufficient to getting me gutted, stuffed, then killed. I don't want that."

"… So… you were planning on lying to me from the start?"

"Goodnight Alice."

In this critical situation, where the hero was cornered by a beautiful woman with an intense killing aura, Jack O'Donnell did the impossible. **_Ran 26 miles in 5 seconds._**

"GET BACK HERE AND ANSWER ME PROPERLY, MASTEEEEEEEEER!"

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! CAN'T HEAR YOU, ALIIIIICE! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!"

Running and making snoring sounds on the fly, is counter intuitive.


	68. CHICKEN SOUP

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=68=**

 _ **'CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SILENT'**_

* * *

"M-Miss F-Fifi, M-may I ask you a question?"

"No. I'm fast asleep. Respect that."

While there was some faint noises of a beautiful(angry) girl chasing after an irresponsible (not-wanting-to-die) boy outside of the room, there were three out of the four heroines who were already curled up in Jack O'Donnell's bed. As much as there were two other rooms in the house, both with their own considerable size bed, they were not available.

Yes. They were empty. One belonged to Jack O'Donnell's sister (who was working late as a part-time actress/model). Then the other is for his mother (who was working a late shift at a local store). As much as sharing these unoccupied spaces would be more efficient, and beneficial, having the owners walk in to see a random beautiful girl curled up under their blankets would draw questions.

Especially subjects of 'did you knock her up', 'how long have you known each other under my nose', or 'did you pick a date for the marriage yet'. Yeah, Jack O'Donnell had too much on his plate in handling four girls who were not human to begin with, but were living versions of Card Art from the world of Duel Monsters. So, he stuffed them all in his room to solve his world problems.

Right now, the Silent Magician Lv 4 and Magician of Faith were having a small conversation while they curled up under one cover. It looked like a sleep over party. The conversation was considered one-sided, as the Magician of Faith borrowed an Eye-cover from a nearby drawer. She was very enthusiastic in holding this heart-to-heart girl talk.

"Are you awake, Miss Fifi? I-I'm really confused and I need your help."

"Solve it on your own time. Don't steal it from my precious sleeping hours."

The Magician of Faith frowned, proving she was awake under the eye covers. She mumbled to herself before she lifted up one corner to show one weary eye. It was glaring right into Silent Magician Lv 4's eyes which were wide and awake, if not filled with an eager curiosity.

"What should we name the lady in red armor?"

"The h*ll!? That's your dear diary moment!?"

"I-I'm very serious. W-we can't call her doggy or puppy girl, even if she does bark and not say anything else. W-we need to respect her!"

Magician of Faith gripped the blankets. Not out of anger or spite, rather, she felt it being pulled away from her body. She peered over Silent Magician Lv 4, right over the side of the bed. Command Knight was half on the bed and half on the floor. How that science works, this narrator doesn't have time or knowledge to get into that complex area. Let's just say, she was hogging up the blankets, like that little sister selfishly sharing the bed. Also, she was nibbling on the blanket corners as if she was dreaming about devouring mountains of marshmallows.

"… Woh…. Mugu, mugu … Zzzzzzz"

"Fat *ss sounds like a good choice."

"I-I can't say the second half of the name."

"That's the only part that's bothering you?"

"Sh-she deserves something strong. Maybe unique!"

"Waltrute."

"Who's that, M-Miss Fifi?"

"F**k all."

"(OxO)!"

Silent Magician Lv 4's lips puckered up like a little x-shaped when she heard that crude and abbreviated explanation. Honestly, she felt uncomfortable using Waltrute now… one of the nine chief Valkyries in Norse Mythology. Not f**k all.

"Wh-what about Moana? Th-that's sounds like a pretty name. It makes her sound like she enjoys adventures on the sea!"

"Copyright."

"Geh! U-uuuh. How about Britannia!?"

"People will be singing the British National Anthem every time they meet her. They'll even ask, how is the Queen doing?"

"S-Sophe?"

"Have you seen Sophie's Choice?"

"?,?,?"

Seeming to know a lot more about human (pop) culture than she looks, Magician of Faith volunteered to kindly explained the premise of Sophie's choice. Feel free to Wiki it to verify the authenticity... maybe.

"HEH!? HEH!? HEH!? CH-CHOOSE EITHER HER SON OR DAUGHTER TO BE MURDERED BY BADMEN!?"

"That's the gist of it."

"No Sophie! No Sophie! No Sophie!"

...Maybe, the Silent Magician Lv 4 was referring to a certain program that connects to millions of people using the internet as a crime-solving platform. Too bad, that program must be sulking in the corner right now. Sigh, the Wisdom of the Crowd could be so cruel.

"Well, I'm out of ideas. Good luck, bean sprout."

"… Bean Sprout?...Hmm."

"You're seriously not considering calling the little mutt Bean Sprout?"

"N-no, no. That's not it… She totally picked out the Brussels Spouts during our dinner today."

"And?"

"Let's call her Darjeeling."

"WHERE THE H*LL DID YOU CONNECT ONE TO INFINITY LIKE THAT!? IT'S LIKE CALCULATING A 100 OVER ZERO AND ACCEPTING THE ANSWER AS MONA LISA!"

From that moment on, the Brussel Sprouts hating Command Knight was christened Darjeeling.

"… F*ck this, I'm out. Good night."

"W-wait! W-we haven't talked about what type of collar we should give to her! W-we should also put in our contact information so people can bring her back when she get's lost."

"….Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… Not listening!"

"Uuuuh. Miss Fifi, you're so mean!"

"…Woh…. Mugu-mugu."

"Gyaaah! Darjeeling, wait, my hair isn't spaghetti! Gyaaaaah! Bad puppy! Bad!"


	69. ALL NAUGHTY

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

 **"Nyaa-haa-haa! Merry Christmas and co.!" ~~Emerald Sonata**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=69=**

 _ **'ALL NAUGHTY, NO NICE'**_

* * *

"Eeeeek! P-Please don't violate me with your webs!"

"Oh me oh myl. If you keep making cute squeals like that, I might just do that - with special treatment ♥."

The city under the night was in total chaos. An entire street was covered in thick and sticky webbing of a big *ss spider and everything was thrown out of their routine. Traffic jams, pedestrians hanging from street lights, even a news helicopter flying around in circles like one of those battery-powered toy planes that fly in senseless circles from the ceiling.

It was that bad.

And the latest victim was an office lady. She was just minding her business, on her way to pick up her employer's dry clean and late night dinner for him and his mistress. Until this big *ss spider appeared to swallow her in thick webs. Dangling from a series of street light, in various embarrassing postures, was the last thing she wanted to experience in her possibly short life. Obviously, the word's 'exhibitionist' would look bad on her potential obituary.

"P-please, I-I can give you all the money in my purse. J-just put me down and let me go! I-I can even give you the address of where my boss is meeting with his secret lover #8 i-if you're from the paparazzi!"

"Money and love affairs are no interest to me. I'm more attracted to the prospect of playing around with a human body… fu-fu-fu. A young girl's body. You look like a ripe age."

"No! I'm not. I-I look 19, but I'm way over 30! I-I'm wearing a type of bra that would be on the borderline of seniors!"

"I want to see it."

"Guh!? I-I'm wrinkly under these expensive clothing! I-I have a muffin top a-and my legs aren't that full! I-I'm nothing like that high school girl whose taking pictures of you with her cellphone… sh-she should match your criteria, right?"

"Nope. I just want you."

"W-why? Why are you so obsessed about a plain woman like me?"

Before the victim knew it, the spider held her face right in front of her. In the victim's eyes, everything was upside down. It's because she was dangling upside down, with her arms tied and her legs chained. She squeezed her thighs together, pinching her skirt to keep the world from seeing the color of her plain panties, but the webs kept trying to pull them apart.

The victim swallowed whatever saliva she could get 'up' her esophagus, staring into the beautiful face of the spider's upper half in the form of a woman with a loose-fitting kimono. The spider woman licked her lips, eyes blinking with a dangerous color.

"Tee-hee. Little human, you look frustrated. Let me help you relief yourself♥."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The webbing clenched, tightening around the poor victim in the middle of broad nightlight. The sound of squeezing and screeching could be heard. The more the pain and agony filled the air, the more the spider woman smiled.

… Who ever thought Jirai Gumo was this Sadistic.

"How do you feel, my pretty?"

"N…no…s-stop…please… I-I'm…I'm going to….aaahn."

"You say no, but the look on your face is hiding a valley of pleasure. Don't repress your feelings, let them loose like a river!"

"N-no. I-it's not that...I...I need to pee."

"Don't you dare do it on my webs."

 ** _*BANG!*_**

A gun shot rang out. The victim woke up from passing out and the Jirai Gumo turned around, with a twist on her lip. Just when they were getting to the climax! Or so she thought. The big *ss spider chattered her legs around, almost like a tank on caterpillar tracks, and settled her gaze onto the one who made the noise of a gunshot.

A small pistol was held in a pair of small hands. It was a classic short-snub Baby Browning revolver. A weapon with only 6 bullets and designed with various safety mechanisms to force it to shoot one bullet at a time, to release the trigger entirely and no half-pull it rapidly. Also, it was a well favored weapon among the local law enforcement.

You're right, it was a police officer. A brave woman to be exact. The origin and culture of this country was unknown, but her uniform resembled the same type normally seen in the Japnese Police Force.

Pencil Skirt, high heels, bowler cap, an anti-lecher/pervert whistle around their neck.

"S-Stop! In the name of the law, put d-down that poor woman and s-surrender peacefully!"

"...,...,...,..."

"Y-you have the right to remain silent, b-but anything you say… o-or do wi-will be used ag-against you in-in a court of law!"

"...,...,...,..."

"… S-say something f-for god's sakes, you criminal."

"You look frustrated. Let me relief you~♥"

"WAIT! D-DON'T TOUCH ME! I-I'M MARRIED, NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

… Yeah, the police woman was screwed. She was soon found dangling in the same embarrassing position as the office lady.

"You have a f**king gun, yet you're so useless!?"

"Excuse me for not being a United States Marine, you pencil pushing wench!"

"I'm not the mistress, I'm covering for the expenses of my boss's shenanigans with 10+ women!"

"Doesn't that make you a third...10+third mistress!? You must enjoy spreading you legs for—"

"Don't cross that territory you gun-toting b*tch!"

"Oh my! I never knew humans like you have such repressed fires! I love it!"

The Jirai Gumo was… enjoying herself, watching the office lady and police woman bicker and bite at each other, even though they were tied in webs and hung upside down. The more they threw acid like words, the more the spider woman clapped her hands. She kind of looked like a child in a puppet show.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

"Guwoooh!"

"Nuwaaaah!"

Not knowing the mechanisms of controlling magical webs, the two victims found themselves being forced to squeeze their cheeks together. They struggled to pull free from this lethal situation, but more webs shot out to grab their heads… and started to turn them towards each other.

… Almost like how a girl giant would rub her dolls together and make kissing noises.

"I-I don't swing that w-way you pepper-spraying woman!"

"I do, and my wife is going to slaughter me if she sees me kissing another girl, you pencil-pusher!"

"That's it, just a little closer! Let your bodies go and explore the wonderful field of love and pleasure! Release yourself of society's burden and run stark naked wild!"

"SHUT UP YOU SPIDER WHORE!"

"SHUT UP YOU SPIDER WHORE!"

"… _*Wince-wince*_ Hee-hee… And there has to be lots of tongue~♥."

"DON'T YANK OUR TONGUES OUT!"

"DON'T YANK OUR TONGUES OUT!"

Oh the humanity. To see how the evil Jirai Gumo spider woman was manipulating their bodies as if her own marionettes to kill boredom. Not only did she force two women into her own fashion of web/rope play, she even had finer webbing tugging on their tongues out. Slowly, all the webbings were forcing them to make contact… by their tongues. Oh who will save them from this beautiful—Cough, a-atrocious sight.

"… Big Sister. What are you playing?"

"Hmm? A child?"

"Guh!?"

"Guh!?"

Oh good god. In this critical situation where two random strangers were about to forcefully kiss each other with their tongues, the spider woman heard a small voice. She turned to look behind her, but found the street behind her empty save her precious webs.

She then felt a small hand rubbing her legs, and it creeped her out.

"Little girl. Didn't your mother tell you to not touch another woman's leg. Sh-she would get the wrong idea and slap an innocent young man by accident."

"Oooh. You're legs are so fuzzy, big sister. Is this what mommy calls not shaving properly?"

"Don't say that, pipsqueak!"

The Jirai Gumo didn't like children. They cause indigestion in her intestines and she would be constipated for a few weeks. So she turned her diet to feasting on bunnies and raccoons, at least their meat was tender. So the second she spotted this little girl rubbing her small hands into her spider legs, she recoiled like a elephant to a mouse.

"Wh-what do you want? You're too young to fit the requirement of my personal preferences. Not to mention, you're sourly underdeveloped. Sh-shoo, shoo!"

"Big Sister, what game are you playing? Why is everyone hanging up side down? Oh! Is this a new type of Twister!?"

"N-no. I don't think even humans would want to play with a tornado, little girl. How should I put it... You know how you play with dolls, with the boy and the girl?"

"Oh, where you put them together and go 'chu-chu-chu'?"

"That's what I'm doing. Now shoo."

"… But they're both girls."

"Exactly. I'm experimenting."

The victims, the office lady and police woman were shaking their heads and moaning. Not moaning in unnecessary pleasure, but in _warning as their mouths were gagged_ … or… had their tongues being stretched out. They had this look of fear in their eyes, as if reflecting what they were thinking in their heart

Oh dear god, not her too.

Even if the adults gave all the necessary warnings and danger glances… the little girl tilted her head. She was small, small enough to have cute pigtails and not be laughed at. Yes, she was that young to not pick up on the social cues in this adult situation. Poor girl.

"… Can I play too?"

"No. You're not even higher than my 8 knees. Let alone, I don't want to be flagged as a pedophile. No, I preferred older women."

"… They look like my mommy's age."

"If your mother is around, please introduce me to her. I have a feeling she's frustrated too."

"Hmm. She is angry with daddy lately."

"Wonderful !"

The victims sagged in their webbings. The situation was hopeless. Not only were they unable to get help from this little girl (hopefully the army), but they couldn't want this girl enough to get her to run away from this 50 shades of gray situation. No child deserves to see the plot this early in age.

"… Big Sister. Why are they crying?"

"They had onions. Why?"

"Are you a bad person?"

"… Well, if you want. I can be very very bad. It depends on how fast you grow up to be their age. Nyaa-haa-haa."

"….. Big Sister is scary."

"Oh, why thank you, darling. I do work out a lot, and this human shampoo I've starting using has worked wonders on my hair. It's even banana scented, ho-ho-ho."

The big *ss spider woman pulled on an unnecessary pose, as if facing an invisible mirror. In this moment in time, the little girl who looked no more than innocent five peeked over the woman's spider legs. She could see two grown woman, tied up in vicious spider webs, hung upside down with their skirts on the verge of falling open, and their tongue being pulled as if force to kiss each other like dolls (almost).

To summarize the damages, they were a mess.

"… Big Sister is a bad girl."

"Fu-fu-fu. I know I'm beautiful, you don't need to—Heh? Heh? B-bad?"

Not paying attention to what the girl was saying until now, the Jirai Gumo blinked out of her self-imposed delusion to look at the girl properly. The child was rummaging into her bag, which looked like the head of a teddy bear. She zipped open its brain, plunged an ungloved hand through the empty skull, and shuffled through its contents. It was empty, thankfully, save for one item she pulled out.

"…Little girl, what is that in your hand."

Pepper Spray... Psssssssssssst.

"NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! M-MY EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYES!"

A giant spider reeled over when a tiny hand-sized can kept spraying something into the woman's face. It wasn't exactly the same aerosol used to eliminate newspaper size spiders, maybe some rodents, no. It was the same pepper spray used by local law enforcement and security firms. It seems the little girl was packing serious heat in case she was in trouble like this. Maybe it was cheaper than buying those remote trackers designed to look like an Owl or Turtle necklace (shrug).

"WHYYYYYY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"You tie people up and make people cry. Mommy is upset with daddy because he keeps tying her up and making her cry every night. Even if he said it was for the sake of giving me a baby brother, he is a bad man. You're a bad person."

"THE F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU LITTLE GIRL!"

Said the big *ss sadist bondage play-loving big *ss Jirai Gumo spider woman. Now that she was incapacitated like a robber on the street, what does she do?

"FLEE! FLEEEEEEEEEEE! FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Jirai Gumo quickly made her retreat, as swift as a masked hero leaving the crime scene at the sound of police sirens. The moment she spun he way out of the street, all the webs she had control in the are fell limp. Since she was no longer present, she lost her magical control over them and they dissolved like sand. As for the victims.

"… I feel so violated."

"… I feel so violated."

In the end, the two adult woman, one office Lady and one police woman fell to the ground in a heap. Their skirts flipped open for the world to see, but they were too physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted to flip them back down.

Maybe the little girl with the pepper spray was well behaved, she helped to pull it down for them.

"…Pencil pusher. Don't say anything about what happened tonight to my wife. I don't want her to divorce me again."

"I would also appreciate if a gun-toting wench like you deleted any secret photos you had of my underwear."

"… For a stiff woman like you, they're pretty sexy."

"And you look cool when you swing that police baton…"

"..."

"..."

Somehow, in that very night, numbers were exchanged between two victims of an forced (fantasy) bondage play. As for the rest of this scene, the details were not important as it wasn't the main plot. Let's just say an office worker and keeper of the law had an affair to remember later.


	70. HOUSE GUIDE

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=70=**

 _ **'HOUSEHOLD TOUR GUIDE'**_

* * *

"Wowowowoooh...sniff..."

"See! I told you to go to the bathroom before you go to sleep. Be thankful you haven't wet the bed, or I would have personal kicked you out onto the front porch!"

The peace in the Jack O'Donnell residence will be shifting soon. It first started the first phase of changing chaos, by having the main protagonist help a certain Command Knight to the bathroom. The poor girl seem to have a bladder issue, always needing to use the lady's room at the most inconvenient time.

For example 2 o'clock in the morning.

When she stumbled out of the bedroom, staggering in pain towards the hero of this story, she looked like she was going to give up and let it go right in front of him in the living room. Luckily, Jack O'Donnell had the mind of an elephant (sleep on their feet). Bolting up and dragging her to the bathroom took exactly 3 seconds.

"In all seriousness, you look like you could walk into university and no one would question you if you sit in a Psychology class. Why exactly is your bladder no better than a five year old?"

"Wuuu-wuu-wuuuooooh (T_T)."

"And why the h*ll do you sound like some character from a ship-themed gal game!?"

"...Wooh (-_-)."

Poor girl. She really needed to empty her… pain. The girl was dressed in only a large t-shirt, her clothing / armor still drying from being thoroughly washed in strong detergent after her _'recent accident in a certain park'_. She felt vulnerable, flimsy even, knowing her body was light without her armor keeping her gravity in check. Sometimes, she thinks that one wrong skip or step would send her floating to the moon.

"Wuuuh!"

"GUWOOH! D-DON'T JUST STOP AND YANK MY ARM ALL OF A SUDDEN! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF OPPOSING FORCES!? PHYSICS WILL POP MY ARM OFF!"

"Wuooouuuuwwuuuuuwuwuwuwuwu!"

The Warrior girl was now shifting her bare legs back and forth, clenching them together. It was as if she suddenly pregnant and was clamping her thighs together to keep a baby inside of her… that or—

"No! Don't you dare repeat history on my god-d*mn floor! In here, now!"

"Woop (O.o)!?"

The hero of the story then 'ceremoniously' Judo-threw the Warrior girl into the bathroom. He made sure she knew where the targeted seat was and forced her down onto it. With a crossed arm and tapping foot, he scowled.

"Don't waste my time. Finish up, and let me sleep."

"...,..."

"… Oye? Are you listening Puppy girl? You're not going to ask me to hold your hand right?"

"...,...,...Uuh"

Command Knight, without her red and gold armor and dress, clothed in only a T-Shirt too big for her body and too short to cover her bare thighs and legs… looked away. Her face was red for some reason.

"….. F**k."

Jack O'Donnell slammed the door behind him and waited outside… like a true gentlemen.

"That… was the most awkward moment in my life."

That's just the tip of the iceberg of Jack O'Donnell's Bizarre Adventure.

"ACHOOO!... GOD-D*MN COLD!"


	71. BLAZING LOVE

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=71=**

 _ **'BURNING LOVE'**_

* * *

"…Honey... please keep e warm at night...Zzzzzz"

"Hey, Fifi, why the h*ll are you crawling under my covers like some random girl in a bad R-Rated Scene in a Visual Novel!?"

The second phase of the upcoming chaos had begun. As much as this narrator want to go into elaborate detail to set up the right mood, tension, and conflicting atmosphere to best describe the seriousness of this new turn of even, it was beyond the level of the writer.

So simply put, Magician of Faith was crawling all over Jack O'Donnell. Yes, he was stunned to experience this sudden change of events. No, he wasn't in the mood to take advantage of this situation and turn this plot into a Mature rated story.

"…Fifi, don't tell me… that you're a sleep walker."

"Uuuh. Don't be so stingy-Zzzz... Keep me company, Honey!-Zzzzz...You should look me in eye more-Zzzzz"

"… I never knew she could be this meek when sleep talking too."

"Jack *ss, stop staring at my breasts-Zzzzz. I promise they'll grow up to be soft and fluffy just for you-zzzzz. So don't try and grope them like some kind of old perv... they're just for your when they're ripe-Zzzz."

"Sigh. Spoke too soon... And for the audial record - My hands are above my head in absolute surrender, so stop taking advantage of my defenselessness and reverse grope me!"

Magician of Faith was a short girl who was barely 2/3 of Jack O'Donnell's height. She could easily be mistaken for a new student in middle school, or someone who had a growth spurt at the near end of elementary school. Either way she was a girl, looking young and plump, and vulnerable in her sleep. This was a super dangerous encounter for a young man in his prime like Jack O'Donnell.

"… Yeah. H*ll no . Last thing I want written in my obituary would be _'this man was treacherous a pedophile'_!"

"Zzzz…Come no, sweety, make me warmer in your arms...I can open up my body too-Zzzzzz."

"S-stop ranting romantic cr*p! Go back to talking sh*t like you always do!"

"That's rude… zzzz… a girl's heart is delicate. You need to hold it gently in your hands…zzzz"

"Guwoooh! I-I can't feel them! I can feel them rubbing into my chest even if it's nothing but the pavement of an airport!"

Jack O'Donnell was in a pinch. The usually crude and foul-mouthed Magician of Faith was making a direct pass at the hero. In her slumbering state, she kept hugging and gluing her petite body over the boy and refused to let go. If she curled up to him any more, she could easily be mistaken for a spider monkey.

"Fifi! G-get off! I-I don't need this unnecessary sexual tension! I may be a man in my youth, but that doesn't mean I have zero morals! No, stop tempting me and go to your room! Bad woman!"

"Papa. I want you so badly-Zzzzz."

"Oh dear god."

The boy tried to slap a hand to his face to forget about the potential sin in his mind, but it was useless. Magician of Faith was hugging his arms in her own embrace. And she kept squeezing him like a hugging pillow, a faint squishy noise of a woman's...padding could be heard (even if it was 180 parallel to the ground). It was a dangerous human knot that could never be undone.

Was this paradise or h*ll?"

"This is messed up….. Ah?"

Something happened. As much as this narrator would like to say it was a good thing, where a lonely boy is glomped by a sleep-talking and vulnerable girl, but it really isn't the case. Besides, no one would bother to read this far if the hero had an easy-going life without any change or conflict. No, a writer like that would get yelled at big time.

To summarize, the one who stumbled upon this lovely scene wasn't a Perverted Masochistic Yandere Spellcaster. No, if that was the case, then Jack O'Donnell would have been obliterated like a pile of meat to a .50 Cal Sniper Rifle (no mercy).

In order to keep the suspense going, we will conclude this chapter with the appearance of a big*ss spider.

"...Sh*t."

"Mmm...Honey, don't squeeze me there-zzzz. It's for our baby-zzzz."

"ANESTHETIST! ANESTHETIST! WHERE IS THE KNOCK OUT GAS!"


	72. HART OF ALICE

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=72=**

 _ **'Hart of Alice'**_

* * *

"I find Mr. Zombie to be a nice person. I trust him."

"…Little girl. Are you sure you're not hiding a secret message about confessing your undying love to Master? If that is the case, would you like to have this regular cotton cushion or goose down pillow to cover your face?"

"Hmm. I would like to avoid goose feathers, it gives me rashes."

"Goose pillow it is."

The Jack O'Donnell residence should all be asleep. But since it was their first time to be in a real house and actually physically sleep for the first time, some of the Duel Monster girls who took refuge there felt they couldn't sleep. Not yet anyways. There were four girls hiding a boy's bedroom. No, this wasn't an R-Rated harem. And no, this isn't some new rendition of Romeo and Juliet(s). These fours girls were once plastic trading cards and part of the Duel Monster collection, but suddenly the world was invaded by such collection to the point where it's a modern fantasy world.

To sum up where this was going, these four former cards turned human based on their card art. Dark Magician Girl, Silent Magician Lv 4, Magician of Faith, and Command Knight. The latter two were outside, one the bathroom and one molesting the boy host in her sleep (leave details for later). So it was just the Dark Magician Girl and Silent Magician Level 4. Although it is not mentioned in their text boxes, their name is Alice and Sadako respectively. Please note, they are wearing nothing but large T-Shirts so their beautiful legs were bare from toes to thighs. FYI.

"Achoo! I-it's so breezy without my robes. I never knew humans could survive with just one piece of short clothing."

"...If it's for Master, I wouldn't mind wearing absolutely no—GACHUU!...NO REGRETS!"

After a random sneeze, Dark Magician Girl Alice had this quiet look on her face, as if she was contemplating. She was wondering if she should take this chance to remove the competition, while it was still dark out... No, burying three bodies alive at a time like this would be bad for her sleep, she'll get wrinkles. Maybe in the morning (touch wood). Or maybe, she could roll around 'violently' in her sleep, enough so she might accidentally break a neck or something by chance.

Then if in a court of law, she could claim innocence on all accounts as it would be deemed as 'tragic accident'...As if the Judge will buy cr*p like that, but that was her personal delusion. So in the end, she decided to just sleep off her Masochistic Yandere jealousy and maybe deal with the three potential love interest later, before any more 'Special Flags' were triggered (read: no harem route). Of course, little Silent Magician Level 4 was oblivious to the Level 6 Spellcaster's plotting, while she snuffled onto a plushy that looked like a certain Kuriboh Lv 9.

"M-Mr. Zombie is very kind. He took us into his own house and gave us food and shelter. I really appreciate him."

"I'm glad you think so, little child. But I hope you don't plan on slipping under his covers in the dead of the night, telling him how grateful you are in caring for you, and wanting to repay his kindness with your body…. If it really comes down to it, child or not— I **will** fight you."

"… M-Miss Alice. I-I don't understand what you're saying."

Silent Magician Level 4 tilted her hair, her silver hair following suit. She was a young and petite girl, who looked like would be the perfect undercover for an elementary school. Maybe with the right costume and make up, she could wear a red backpack with a record and yellow hat and still fit in marching behind a line of Japanese preschool children. Of course she wouldn't go that far for anyone's sake. That would be silly to dress up as a child.

"At first, because Mr. Zombie looks so grumpy and scary all the time, I-I didn't know if I could trust him. But after he saved me from the zombie monsters, I-I really felt that he is a good man trying to do his best to be friends with others. See, he even lend me his sister's favorite plushy."

"… Where the h*ll is my plushy?"

The Level 4 Spellcaster was curled up on the bed, her arms full with the large Kuriboh Lv 9 stuffed doll. The Level 6 Spellcaster was on the same bed, her arms empty. There definitely was a difference in terms of how much attention was given in this situation. Deep down, that Level 6 girl felt neglected.

"C-cough. Hmph. I shouldn't be jealous over something as stupid as a stuffed animal. I have Master to cuddle with when everyone is fast asleep. Yes, yes. I can sneak out of bed in the dead of the night, slip under his covers, and wrap his cold body in my warm bosoms…. Yep, my bosoms are still the right size. Yes!"

"… M-Miss Alice. I can't keep up with you."

And that was the end of the Seventh Heaven like girl-to-girl bed talk in this makeshift sleepover.


	73. BAD ROMANCE

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=73=**

 _ **'Bad Romance...H*ll No'**_

* * *

"…Oi. Fifi. Wake up, we're being watched."

"Mmnnn… Kiss me… zzzzzzzzzzz…"

"Th-the h*ll is wrong with you young couples? C-can't you unleashed the desires of your raging hormones somewhere else? I-I'm eating here!"

Something went wrong. It wasn't because of Magician of Faith randomly sleepwalking and sleeptalking around the house. Neither was it because she turned from 'I'll gut you boy' to 'Love-Dovey Clingy Girl' to the one person she hated the most. And it definitely was Jack O'Donnell fending himself from such sleep-induced zombie grappling onto him like a Spider Monkey.

It was the fact he had this big*ss spider hiding in his pantry. And it was eating his emergency rations of dry cereal, instant ramen, and day-old bread. In other words, he had this unlikely intruder in his house. Unfortunately, he didn't have a vacuum clean big enough to suck up a Volkswagon Beetle.

"Who the H*ll are you and what did you do to my house? It looks like Halloween showed up early and uninvited to pull some kind of sick*ss prank! Pull these webs down or I'll kick you fat *ss!"

"Hmm… Darling… you can't… I can't take it in the *ss…Zzzzzzz."

"Fifi. Shut up and sleep like a normal person!"

"H-how d-dare you insult a lady like that! M-my *ss isn't that fat! It-it's just ana-anatomically disproportionate by birth.. HEY! LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING AND NOT THAT GIRL GRABBING YOUR BELT!"

"DO YOU HAVE TO BE THAT GOD-D*MN DESCRIPTIVE!?"

Whoever the intruder was, jack O'Donnell surely wasn't in any mood to welcome them with an open heart. Neither was he resourceful enough to follow out the Second Amendment of the United States of America. He didn't have a hunting rifle, so that was problem number one. However, since he is a responsible and hard working teenager who usually runs the house on his own, he had his way of getting rid of spiders.

"Where the h*ll did my lazy *ss sister put that spider repellent!? Gaaaaah! I'll just have to use rat poison!"

"Guh!? K-keep that horrid cr*p away from me! I-I'm allergic to its chemical products!"

"Mmm… D-don't open my legs like that, darliinnng...Zzz, I-I'm not ready…Zzzzzzz."

"For crying out loud woman, listen to the man you're groping and sleep like a regular person! You're a disgrace to all of us maidens!"

Said the Spider Woman who enjoyed forcing girls to kiss like dolls not too long ago.

"...Th-that's different! I-it's a hobby!"

Sure.


	74. WAR, HUU

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=74=**

 _ **'War, What is it Good For?'**_

* * *

Jack O'Donnell seemed to have an intruder. An enemy on his residential property. He didn't have a weapon, nothing useful on hand. Contrary to what you believe, he wasn't some ex-special forces operative or not even a professional spy from another nation with years of experience under his belt. No, he was just a regular teenage boy with an average grade. He can't even chop wood for the life of him. Still, he was a very practical individual when it comes to facing adversity. Once he found the solution, he will charge in with all his might and make things up as he goes… blindly.

"Ah-ha! Here's the spider repellent!"

"Nooooo! Nooooooooooo! Nooooooooooooooooo!"

Throughout the house, a large spider was running around in sheer panic. This arachnid wasn't the size of a Dollar Coin, or the palm of your hand (shudder). Neither was it the size of a baby carriage that you normally see walking across the crosswalk in Australia. NO, this spider with the top half of a woman in a kimono that fell off her smooth shoulders was the size of a Smart Car. With six sharp legs attached to her spider like lower half and two regular arms on her top half, she was swinging them wildly around as if to defend herself from an unseen attacker. Or, she was desperately trying to waft away the cloud of anti-spider particles being sprayed at her.

"Gyaaaaah! I-it burns! It burns my skiiiiiiin! Mercy! Mercy!"

"Yes. That's the intent of this $10 can of bug spray. Now get out of my house and don't come back to start a plot long conflict! I've had it up to hear with you anomalies - even if you're all girls!"

"Guh! Stupid human, I declare war on you! War on—GYAAAAAH! MY EEEYYYYYYYEEEES!"

"I told you not to start a plot long conflict, didn't I!? Were you even listening to my above lines! Read the manuscript properly before you even think about messing with a regular highschool boy in a messed up fantasy story! Protagonist or not, I'm tired. I want sleep – and someone get this piece of cr*p sleep walker off my back!"

"Th-that's no way to treat your potential love interest! Y-you have to take advantage of this opportunity to increase your relationship points! Only that way, can you open her animated cutscenes where she lets down her defenses towards you and—ACHOO! ACHOO! Oh lord, I can't even feel my sinuses!"

"Tch. So are you saying you want to fill in for little miss cussing sailor turned snoring housewife then!? Is that what you want miss antagonist spider, an exchange in roles!?"

"… I…if it's you as the protagonist, th-then I wouldn't mind being your beau—GYAAAAAAAAAAAAH! M-MY EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYES AGAIIIIIIIIIN!"

"For the last time, **get the f**k out**."

And that was how the war between a big*ss Spider Woman and a Hero with four Duel Monster girls begun. The igniter in this conflict was nothing more than a $10 can of spider repellent purchased from a local dollar store.

"I-I'll be back!—COUGH! COUGH! O-OH GOD, I INHALED IT! HURK! B-BLEEEEEEEGH! BLEEEEEEEGH! UUUUUUURK!"

"...,..,...,...THE H*LL! THROW UP _**OUTSIDE**_ OF MY HOUSE YOU IDIOT!"

Beautiful (chaos).


	75. ISSUE ISSUE

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=75=**

 _ **'Known Issues of Late'**_

* * *

"Woh! Pfuuu! Pfuuuu!"

Command Knight (named Darjeeling) had finished her nightly bathroom break. The girl who seem to have a penchant for going to the bathroom at the most inconvenient time let out a small sigh of relief while patting her stomach. It looked like she was cheering on her uterus, but it was her bladder she was comforting. FYI, she was only wearing a t-shirt that covered her body (chest area looks tight and her legs are showing more than Alice's...don't tell her).

The girl who would say nothing but 'Woh' for no reason had walked out of that bathroom. She was brought over by Jack O'Donnell,so she had been expecting he would be somewhere in the hall, waiting forher to escort her back to her room so she could sleep. Instead, she had cob webs hit her face. It got into her mouth when she was yawning.

"Ptoo! Ptooo!...Wuohgfuuuu!"

As the girl spat out the webs from her mouth, she stumbled into the living room. It was a large space, large enough to clear out everything to hold a pool table tournament with 10 people. It was diving into the kitchen and the dining room which doubled as the living room. And the space that could hold a pool table tournament of 10 was filled with spider webs. Each stranded as thick as towels hanging out to dry. By accident, Command Knight walked into one, face first.

"Ptoo… Bleekk… Wohgfffchuuu!...Ah."

"… D-don't stare a…at me as if I'm… modern art…. D..dooo somethiiiing—cough, cough."

Hanging from the cloud of webs in that living room were two bodies. One belonged to a boy straight from highschool. The other was a certain Level 3 Spellcaster. One was tied up at the arms and legs, and neck, the other was balled up in a cocoon. Maybe it was the fact she was asleep that whoever put her in such a state sought mercy for her and made a sleeping bag out of spider webbing. That and they didn't like Jack O'Donnell that's why he was being drawn and quartered + hanged.

"…Do… something… cough."

"Wogu, wugu, wugu (O.o)"

"M-making r-random noises… i-isn't going to help… cough."

The Command Knight was in a bit of a dilemma. One, she wasn't in her red and gold armor. She was armed in only a t-shirt that doesn't bother to cover her long bare legs. Two, she did have her iconic silver sword and oval shield. Second… or thirdly for those keeping track—The enemy wasn't an idiot.

"I activate my trap! You stepped on a web mat! Congratulations my little pretty!"

Half naked Command Knight didn't realized she walked into the living room to step on a white mat made out of sticky webs. All the enemy had to do, was twitch the wire tied to her pinky.

"Nyaa-haa-haa! I have you-GBUFFFFFFFFFFFF!"

"...Wo—hmph."

Something changed. The idea for the Spider Woman was to capture the new entrant. She even set up a trap to catch her new prey and maybe have some fun playing make believe with her new dolls. Now she had both a boy and girl type, she can do more than girl and girl play. However, her expectations were broken, when she received a bare foot kicking in her face. Courtesy of a certain Command Knight who flipped in the air.

"WHY THE H*LL ARE YOU HITTING MY FAAAAAAAACE!?"

"Woh! Kyuu!"

The Command Knight was a Warrior. Even though a Level 4, she still had much experience in the battlefield. By using the flipping mat the Spider Woman had manipulated with her webs, she had enough momentum and inertia to throw a flying kick into Jirai Gumo's beautiful face. A nasty squishing sound could be heard.

"... YOU'RE FINALLY USEFUL, PUPPY GIRL!"

"Wooh. (-_-)"

"... M...my nose... it's broken...,...,...,...I'LL GUT YOU, BARKING WHORE!"

Obviously this counterattack would p*ss of Jirai Gumo, indefinitely. She would easily retaliate with her webs, slashing them like swords tied to rope. It carved up the plaster in the wall, chopped up the counters and kitchen island, and even severed enough glass to turn them into stained-windows for a church. Even so, the Warrior girl evaded the flurry of attacks, as if it were a regular Tuesday in the Cirque du Soleil.

"HA-HA! BEAT THAT SPIDER B*TCH! MY STRONGEST SERVANT HAS TRUMPED YOU! PUP GIRL, GRAB A KNIFE FROM THE KITCHEN AND CUT ME DOWN! DON'T WORRY, BAD GUY EXPENDABLE!"

"...U...uuwoh..."

"...Oi. P-pup girl. Why are you slowing down?"

Something was wrong. As much as Command Knight wanted to save the day, she came across an issue. It could be the fact that her attack power was 1200. Even with her special effect of increasing the ATK of all Warrior Monsters on the field by 400, she would be at most 1600 without extra Equip Spells. There was the fine print where she cannot be used as a target in an attack, so long as another Warrior Monster was on the field, however presently it was just Spellcaster Magician of Faith (tied up in a cocoon, snoring). Regardless, the real problem wasn't her card detail.

"...Uuuuh."

"...No... Don't say it."

"*Nod* *Nod*."

Um... Canonically speaking, this shouldn't be an issue but... this Command Knight Darjeeling... as bladder issues.

"You seriously need to pee at a time like this...Even when you just walked out of a bathroom, 10 seconds ago."

"Uuuwoh."

"I hate you so much."

And everyone knows what happens when your bladder is so full, there's no way anyone could work at 100% proficiency. Hence why she lost her timing in her flips and dodges, did the webs grab her arms, ankles, and neck.

"...Hu-hu...hu-hu-hu. Not so tough now, eh, girly. Ptoo."

A certain Jirai Gumo appeared before the captured Command Knight. Ignoring how she had two black eyes and a nasty foot print on her cheek, she spat out a mouth of blood with a victiorious smile.

"I wonder what I shall do to you in repayment for your 'kind gestures' to my lovely face eh?"

"Uwuwuwuwuwuwuuu."

"Should I pull off your arms first and then your legs. Or maybe I'll dislocate you one finger at a time, then one toe at a time."

"Uwgeeeeh."

"...Or."

The Spider Woman was going to enjoy herself. She started to pull up her beautiful webs to poke at the Command Knight's body. Particularly her womb... or... where a certain organ was in front of her uterus.

"KYAA!"

"Why don't I help relief you of your... stress."

"Nnnng! Aaahhguuu! W-woooooooh!"

The webs began to crawl up and down the Level 4 Warrior's bare thighs and under her arm. More kept stroking her stomach as if caressing an invisible baby inside of her. When really, Jirai Gumo was seeing how many flicks does it take before Command Knight's bladder burst. Tickle, tickle, tickle.

"Uweeeeeeh!"

"Oooh. I love this sound you making!"

... Jack O'Donnell. Anything you wish to add?

"... I told you to cut me down first."

"Wooooooooooh (T_T)!"


	76. HORSE! HORSE!

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=76=**

 _ **'Horse! Horse! My Kingdom for a Horse!'**_

* * *

Here was the main problem.

Jack O'Donnell was attacked by a certain Level 4 Jirai Gumo. It was one of the many cards that had appeared in the first generation deployment of the Duel Monster's Series. It had an attack power of 2200 and a defense of 1000 points. Yes, it was a Level 4. No, it was not a typo. In a regular game, Level 4 monsters could be played on the field without tribute. The range of attack powers range from 1000 to at most 1900. If you were able to play a monster with a ridiculously high attack power, it needs a major requirement to fulfill that summoning condition (or it's a Normal Monster and you're darn lucky).

Normally, they are the types that either return to the hand at the end phase, require to tribute monsters on the field to just attack, turn to defense until the end of your next turn, or offer loads of life points to summon. Jirai Gumo was one of those beasts that had a ridiculous attack power and a restrict condition. It definitely wasn't a cheat card.

"So, which one of you little piglets shall I play with first. Fu-fu-fu."

"Sorry to disappoint you but, I'm not a girl."

"Men who sacrifice women as shields are the worst."

"The h*ll, I'm stating a fact! Where in my 9 word sentence did I say 'take the girls and spare me'. You fat*ss."

"….. What did you call my, my pretty?"

"Oh cr*p."

At first, Jack O'Donnell would have been on the bottom of the 'attack order list'. Mostly because Jirai Gumo (half kimono girl with open shoulders, half spider) was interested in playing (read: torture) girls. But due to his rebellious comment, he was shift from number three to number one. So, he was the first one to be put through her 'funhouse' torture.

"…H-hey. I-I don't know if I should be dreading or excited, b-but what are you doing?"

"The better to strip you my dear. Tee-hee. I've develop this new whipping technique and I would love to see how much blemishes I could made in a duration of 10 seconds. Please endure for me."

"Stop! You have absolutely no idea what your doing!? STOP!"

"Try as you might little fly there is no escape. Fu-fu-fu. I can't wait to hear your squeal."

"Squeal! I'm squealing! I don't care about pride and cr*p! J-just stop pulling down my paaaants! I'm a young man in my youuuuuuuuth!"

"… Nope… Nyaa-haa-haa!"

And the Jirai Gumo, a giant spider with the upper body of a woman with a kimono that slipped off her smooth shoulders, happily whipped off the boy's pants and-.

"-GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

 ** _Regret._**

"THE F**K IS THERE A SNAKE BETWEEN YOUR LEGS!?"

"YOU IDIOT! I TOLD YOU DON'T PULL THEM DOWN! PUT THEM BACK ON!"

The big*ss spider woman fumbled to cover up something a woman should never see until they were ready to bear children. Due to suddenly having a human body for the first time, Jirai Gumo did what all clumsy girls would do. She dropped the pants to shield her eyes.

"WHERE IS IT!? WHERE IS THE ONLY PIECE OF CLOTH TO CENSOR THE FORBIDDEN!? WHERE THE H*LL DID I DROP IT!"

Under the coffee table.

"GUBYAAH! M-MY BUTT IS STUCK!"

Note, her lower half is a big*ss spider. Think of it as putting a penny and a 1970s Walkman next to each other. The top penny portion of her body was that of a girl, the remainder was just too big to be seen on a girl. No, that was not a sexist comment.

"Quit following up with a comical act and put – my – pants – oooooooooooooooooon!"

…Who should we pity? The Boy? The Spider girl? Or the Fool?


	77. WAR LOVE TRIANGLE

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=77=**

 _ **'WAR = LOVE = TRIANGLE'**_

* * *

Someone was going to die.

No matter how you do the math, there was going to be a definitely incident where a life will be lost. The question is who will be the first casualty of this small war inside a high school boy's house Jack O'Donnell? Very likely. His base personality in itself is a magnet for trouble and his penchant for p*ssing off beautiful woman without even trying is an achievement in its own right. For sure, he could be the first fatality.

"… Oye."

Magician of Faith. Out of the four Duel Monsters in the house, she was the weakest of them all. A Level 3 Spell Caster with an Attack of 300 and a defence of 200. Even if she had aflip effect, it was only useful in retrieving cards discarded to the graveyard. She was meant to be blown up. Furthermore, she was helplessly tied up in a cocoon of sticky fibers and dangling off a spider's web. An easy emal.

"Hmmm…. I'll kick your *ss…Zzzzzzz…."

Command Knight. A Level 4 Warrior Monster with an Attack of 1200 and a Defense of 1800. She had a special effect where all Warrior monsters on the field receive 400 ectra attack points. This includes increasing herself. However, she didn't have her armor, she didn't have her sword and shield, and her entire body was stuck to the web like a victim in a horror movie. Not to mention, she had a succulent body (in the eyes of a certain spider).

"Woooh! Wooooh (O~~O"

To be honest, the correct answer was 'none of the above'

"…Wh…what is this intense killing aura I feel tickling my s-spider legs."

"….Spider whore… get off your knees and step away from Master's crotch."

The room that was large enough to hold a pool tournament for 10 people was flooded. Not by water or out of control laundry soap, but pure killing intent. The atmosphere was so think the air turned deep purple and it was next to difficult to breath. As if a submarine lots its power and the men relied on whatever oxygen was left inside the closed spaces.

That or the Norse versioin of judgement Day came early. And it walked into the scen in the form of of a certain girl. Beautiful blonde hair waving around like the strands of Medusa. Neon eye piercing the darkness with a flash of scarlet. Delicate hands opening and closing to mimic the fist ofa demon.

A beast called jealousy.

"You."

"S-such demonic au-aura! W-wait! D-don't misunderstand the situation right now! I-I've no interest in-in playing around with the body of a young man! I-I was merely torturing - no! I mean! Uh-uh! This isn't what it looks like!"

"... Give me those pants."

"What?"

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

"Guffuuuu..."

Jirai Gumo (ATK 2100 / DEF 1000) made a weird sound. It sounded like the meek friend at a party who had one too many cans of beer, and her stomach can't handle the ethanol contact anymore. The sound of a small and cute girl about to throw up. No, for this scene no one was ingesting alcohol. That would be bad for the health.

But that doesn't ignore the fact, that a small and cute fist slammed into Jirai Gumo's flat stomach. As this is all just words and theater of the mind, the best way to really measure the power of the fist colliding into her womb area could be referenced to this.

God Hand Crusher (OBELISK).

"G-gyaguubffuu!?"

"Thank you."

The Level 4 Spider Woman fell into a slump. Not just a sack of spuds, but an entire tower of laundry that splattered onto the dirty floor. There was nothing anyone could do to save it. There were cautious footsteps that walks around the body, as if walking away from a fresh murder scene. Who was the culprit? What was the motive? Only God knows.

But. By the time Dark Magician Girl stepped up to Jack O'Donnell, the answer was clear. Besides, the boy was a horrified witness to the entire crime scene. He should be able to pinpoint who the culprit was!

"...Master... Let this little maid put your pants back on... hu-hu-hu♥."

"A-ALICE! WH-WHY ARE YOU DROOLING WITH THAT DANGEROUS GLINT IN YOUR EYES! CANCEL ATTACK! CANCEL ATTACK! UWOOOOOOOOH!"

And someone was thoroughly molested that night.

"Oooh! Don't worry, I'll be very gentle to you... hu-hu."

"NO! STAY BACK YOU PERVERTED MASOCHISTIC YANDERE!"

"Kyaaaaaa! Master praised me for my loyalty!"

"NEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!"

In the end, nothing happened that would make children start to ask about the Birds and the Bees story. Rest Assured.


	78. PRAYER PRAYER

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **=78=**

 _ **'HEART SUTRA'**_

* * *

"Master! Explain yourself! You already have three girls serving you, so how are you still not satisfied!"

"… Alice. This isn't the time to contemplate whether or not I should enjoy a harem ending or devote all my flags to one heroine… We're being strangle alive here—cough."

The situation had turned, again. At first, the appearance of a certain Level 6 Dark Magician Girl should have been enough to flip the tables onto the enemy, a Level 4 Jirai Gumo. However, after that free shot to the spider woman's gut, that was when the fantasy of victory was cut short.

Jack O'Donnell, Dark Magician Girl, Magician of Faith (sleeping), and Command Knight were all dangling from the series of haunting webs that filled up the highschool boy's house. It was an invasion of a single monster who had full disregard to human life (if not privacy). And this culprit against Humanity that has broken every law and regulation in the Geneva Prisoner of War Convention was laughing like a diabolical queen… She never stopped clutching the damages to her stomach and kept holding back her urge to vomit like a pregnant woman.

"Ha-ha—huuurk. Y-you are all going to be my playthings for—hurk, the duration of this evening—huuurk! Gulp. D-do you have any objections to the arrangement of what tortue I shall put you through? Guurkk! Gaaah! Wh-where is the Lemon Tea!?"

"I do."

"Boys are not included in this—hurk, survey."

"SEXIST!"

Jack O'Donnell gritted his teeth together as he barked that one word between his fangs. This was no good. At this rate, this Jirai Gumo in the form of a half woman half spider demon was going to devour them, or worse, BDSM. Shiver. If he can't think of a way to turn this situation around, he was screwed, literally.

"If only my Trump Card wasn't into bondage."

"M-master. D-don't misunderstand, sh-she distracted me with the prospect of being tied next to you. I-I couldn't defend against her psychic attack quick enough. A-and why is the loud-mouth cussing brat in between me and Master! You promised we would be tied together like desperate lovers! Live up to your end of the bargain you spider whore—Kyaaa! Th-the threads are cutting into my thiiiiighs!"

"Alice, you're not helping!"

"Hmmm….Please be gentle…zzzzzz."

"Shut up sleep talking Fifi! You're worse!"

"Woooooooh! Woooooooooooooooh!"

"AND YOU! PUP! YOU'RE A WARRIOR TYPE DUEL MONSTER, SO WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS EAGER TO RUN TO THE BATHROOM! THE F**K IS WRONG WITH YOUR BLADDER!"

"Wooowuuuuuuuuu (T_T)!"

The situation was most dire. Most of Jack O'Donnell's monsters were removed from play. They each ranged from an ATK 300 to 1600 to 2000, and it wasn't enough to take on the Jirai Gumo woman who had an Attack of 2200.

"Tell me little mayfly, how do you think you'll defeat me when you're all tied up like this. Ku-ku-ku. I really want to know what miracle you'll pull out of your *ss to save yourself!"

"Cough Cough. I-I don't need to do something as crude as that… I'll pull it out of **_your_** *ss."

"Oh-ho-ho. I see, you must be…. HEH!? I-I'M, I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL (O=O)!"

"SADAKO! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE! WAKE UP AND ATTACK HER NOW!"

"...Who's Sadako?...Huwaah! Wh-what is this chilly sensation in this atmosphere!?"

There was a vicious stillness in the air. The moment when things were about to change for one way or another, the deciding factor that would determine the outcome of a duel, had occurred. And it happened the moment the spider woman turned to the regular look TV set.

 ** _"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA! WHY IS THAT GIRL FROM RINGS HEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEE EEEERE!?"_**

"Uwa-uwa-uwa! Wh-what's happening. Pfuu! I-I only wanted to get a class of water."

Silent Magician Level 4 had stirred awake. She never realized Dark Magician Girl or Command Knight had left the bedroom and she casually walked out, half asleep in look for something to quench her nightly parched throat... Or maybe a glass of milk to help sleep better. She was half dreaming while she walked her way to the kitchen in the living room. Somehow, in her slumbering stride, she ended up curling herself inside the empty TV box she took apart for study not too long ago. Like a puppy to its dog house.

Hearing all the noises woke her, so she did what any puppy would do. _Crawl out of the empty TV_. Note: Bed Hair.

"Who who are you? D-Did Mister Zombie save you and brought you home too?"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THE RING GIRL IS TALKING TO ME! I'M CURSED! GOD SAVE ME! GOD SAVE ME!~ _A-je a-je ba-ra-a-je ba-ra-sung-a-je mo-ji sa-ba-ha! A-je a-je ba-ra-a-je ba-ra-sung-a-je mo-ji sa-ba-ha! A-je a-je ba-ra-a-je ba-ra-sung-a-je mo-ji sa-ba-ha!_ "

"...Isn't that prayer the Korean Heart Sutra?"

"SADAKO! DON'T JUST STAND THERE, GRAB A KNIFE AND BACK STAB THIS WOMAN OR SHE'LL KILL US ALL! I APPROVE YOU SHEDDING BLOOD RIGHT NOW!"

"MASTER! WHAT DID LITTLE SADAKO MEAN THAT YOU BROUGHT HOME **ANOTHER GIRL** YOU SAVED!? ARE YOU THE TYPE OF PROTAGONIST WHO RACES OUT AT THE CRY OF A MAIDEN, _SWING YOUR RIGHT FIST AROUND TO DISSOLVE ALL PROBLEMS AND CONFLICTS!_ THEN YOU CARRY THEM BACK HOME LIKE A TSUNDERE JUVENILE DELINQUENT!?"

"ALICE! NOT NOW!"

"ANSWER MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"UNYAAAAH! WOULD YOU PLEASE ALL STOP SHOUTING AT ME! AT LEAST LET ME FIX MY HAIR! pfuu, pfuuuuu!"

 **= Duel Start =**


	79. --VOL2 - COLLECT CALL

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata  
_**

 ** _...,...,..._**

 **=,=,= *STARTING VOLUME 2 NOW!* =,=,=**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **VOL.2  
=01=**

 _ **'COIN COLLECTION'**_

* * *

 **{Command Knight's Diary}**

 ** _Everyone thinks I'm stupid. I think it's because of the fact every word I say comes out as 'Wo wo'. I'm not a f**king dog! But ever since I've been given a human form, none of my biological and psychological responses are put in the right place. Even my organs aren't working in symphony with me, I don't know why I have these urges to wander into a wash closet! I-it's embarrassing having to burst out in the middle of the open! Gaaah! N-no! Not again! I—I have to go now! B-but, but… why the h*ll am I stuck in a terrible bondage scene!..._**

* * *

"..Woooh…Woooohhh…Wuh!"

"D-don't you dare pee on me again, you little puppy!"

"WOOH! WOOOH!"  
 _(Don't call me that!)_

It was the city. The battlefield from the previous chapter had suddenly shifted. It was unclear as to how the leap was made, neither were there any available details as to what started this necessary change in environment. Simply put, the previous setting had a Barrel Dragon ran through it in a scared frenzy. Being brought over from the Duel Monster reality to our reality had spooked it, like a horse hearing a gun shot for the first time. So it could only run away… however, running away meant running into buildings, convenience stores, and even the protagonist's house.

Racing from the wreckage, there was this long series of webbing in the form of nets hanging off its iron shoulders. The Barrel Dragon didn't notice it, that or it was too scared to look back. All it could do was charge in a straight line, cannon muzzles flapping up and down like the jaws of a scared man. It hoped that by running in one single file direction – it would eventually run back to the Duel Monster world. A Barrel Dragon's ATK and DEF was 2600 and 2200 respectively. That doesn't mean it's IQ was anywhere close to that range.

"Nuwooooh! Seriously, Puppy girl. You're the Warrior in this situation! Where is your sword and your shield! Without them, you can't activate your effect as a Duel Monster if you don't even look anything like your card art. Wearing a man's t-shirt will get you no where… Wait, that's my T-Shirt! Wh-what,do you have some kind of fetish or something!?"

"WOOOH! WOOOOH! WOOOOH! WO!"  
 _(Stop throwing around these misunderstandings on me! I'm not that kind of girl!)_

"Yeah. A likely story."

"WOOOGGUUU!"  
 _(You're the worst!)_

The Duel Monster who barked like a puppy dog was called Command Knight. She had the ability to raise the attack power of all Warrior Monsters by 400. So even if she had an ATK of 1200, she could immediately improve her stats to 1600 in battle. Her DEF was 1900, so she was balanced in both angles of attack.

However, she wore a large shirt, something a stereo-typical girl in an Anime would wear once the protagonist picked her up from a plot-twisting event to let her freeload at his home. Not to mention, she got them 'dirtied' in a previous battle. So they were supposed to be in the washing machine. Now that she lacked the necessary equipment to regain her full status, she could only hang from the webbing that tied her up, and cry. Everyone was bullying her.

"Th-this is messed up. First some crazed spider woman with a big*ss tries to rape me, freaks out when she realized what rape meant, and now this screwed up situation with a Barrel Dragon! Honestly, what the h*ll is wrong with Chaos Theory and the Butterfly Effect to just give up and let two different world smash into each other!? This is too much for a highschool boy to deal with. Tch. If only things were crazy enough to give me a Swiss Army knife, a paper clip, some bubble gum wrap to make a Heat-seeking rocket out of complete junk!"

Jack O'Donnell didn't like _Cliffhanger_. Not the trope, but the movie itself. It was because he watched the opening when he was only a 5 year old lad who had high hopes for the world. The moment the safety buckle between the professional rock climber and the customer snapped, he couldn't shake off that nasty memory of that slow motion 200 km drop.

…Which thinking about it wasn't helping. The more the Barrel Dragon shook around as it ran, the more likely the spider webs bounded to him against its metal hide would snap. Then he would have to experience that slow motion drop from the side of a tanker running at 120 km/hr. With a full on traffic behind him, his fate would be worse than the customer in the _Cliffhanger_ movie.

"A-Alice! Do something! You're literally the strongest monster I have on deck! Y-you have to get us out of this mess, or we'll be suffering a Bad End where we can't return the our last save point to change our decision!"

"…Nngggnaaaahn~"

"OH FOR F**K SAKES! HOW COME MY DARK MAGICIAN GIRL IS A MASOCHIST!?"

"Mmmggfff…Aaaaaahnngg~! M-Mafuuuuu~~! "

"D-don't moan out my name while you're caught in those webbings! W-we're out in the middle of the city! Th-the last thing I want the world to think of me in my final moments if that I'm a perverted harem-sick jack*ss. Even if I survive, I don't want desperate men and woman forming a mob to chase after me! M-my legs could only carry me so far as three states, four if I'm not caught in border security!"

The young man turn to his partner, a certain Level 6 Spellcaster with 2000 ATK. The lovely blonde headed Dark Magician Girl could be found bound in the same webbing as him as the entire thing flapped in the wind at high speed. It was unclear as to what happened, but the 'ropes' of the spider threads somehow crisscrossed themselves all over Duel Monster girl's body.

Strands were strapped around her soft chest, entwined around each full thigh, squeezing into her calves, one thick one wrapped around her lips, and one more somehow riding up between her legs. Every time her body bounced up and down on the spider net, she made these strange noises that would make women cover their eyes, ears, and mouths for some reason. She looked awfully red as well, as if suffering from a fever.

Normally, such trap would be useless to an experienced Dark Magician Girl like herself. However, being tied next to her beloved master with these tight bondage—er, webs around the sensitive parts of her body, she could only mutter in absolute defeat.

"Nnnggffff! M-mafuuuu~! M-moooorefff. Moorrrrgg~! MMnn! Nnnn~! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGG~~~~~!...K…kyuu~."

"…, Yeah, she's gone. Sadako, any opinions. You're the smart one among the group."

"Aaaah! M-my hair is being pulled! I-it hurts, d-don't pull on my head like that. I-it's too rough!"

"N-NOT YOU TOO! YOU'RE LUCKY IT'S JUST YOUR HAIR CAUGHT IN THE WEBS, AND YOUR HANDS AND FEET ARE FREE! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF SAVING US, SO DO SOMETHING!"

"Pant Pant. M-my mind is going blank. I-I've never had this feeling before. Th-the blood is disappearing f-from my braaaain!"

Jack O'Donnell scowled. It wasn't he was trying to be a bully to a certain small Level 4 Spellcaster with silver white hair, it was mostly the fact she was starting to follow the footstep of her Level 6 sister. The Silent Magician Level 4 could only grab onto the sillk ropes while some of it caught her long hair in the process. She could freely climb up and around the netting like a professional rock-climber, but the problem was the anchor point of her hair. She could only move about two steps in any direction, before she would squeal from the tugging of her hair line.

"Listen Sadako. You're the only person who could reverse the possible tragedy of this situation. If this dumb*ss Barrel Dragon is to fail to make a left or right turn and plow into a building, we'll be crushed. Even if we do survive, with this city with cr*p ton of concrete, iron beams, and glass, our bodies won't longer than 3 minutes from blunt force trauma and bleeding from shrapnel. You're the wise one, think of something and fast!"

"C-can't think… m…my hair. Aaah~."

"F**k."

The boy muttered a loud curse under his breath, but it was censored out when the Barrel Dragon smashed through a cargo truck, which was holding furniture. Limbs from a sofa chair and guts from leather couches exploded into the air and slapped into the side of the walls. The carnage was so great, the corpse of a bed frame, wardrobe, and dinner table tumbled over to kick open fire hydrants and rip through the flesh of a fast food stores. There was no sign of the Machine Muster slowing down. The mess it made and the sound of random people screaming all over, scared it even more.

"…Hnnzzz…D-don't prod me w-with your staff…nn…I-I'm not that kind of girl…Zzzzzz."

"….. Fifi. I choose you."

"Zzz—BUGYAAAH! WH-WHO THE F**K KICKED ME IN THE FACE! JUST WHO!?"

Level 3 Magician of Faith had finally woken up from her deep slumber. No doctor in our world could comprehend how this small girl could sleep through a one-sided massacre, an epic battle, and the crushing of one's house under the footsteps of a Kaiju—Er, Barrel Dragon.

Her tenacity to just ignore everything and sleep until she felt content was on par with a reinforced Nuclear bunker. It was too strange. Now, a single drop kick to her face was enough to wake her up. No one knew who was the culprit behind it.

"F**K YOU B*STARD! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA OF DISTORTING MY FACE! I-IF MY NOSE OR ANYTHING ELSE IS OUT OF ALIGNMENT TO THE POINT WHERE ONLY COSMETIC SURGERY COULD SAVE ME, I'LL STRANGLE YOU!"

"Go ahead. I insist you try and grab my throat."

"You don't have to tell me to do something as easy as….as….Wait, why am I tied up…WHAT THE H*LL DID YOU DO TO MY BODY YOU PERVERT!?"

"DO YOU NOT SEE THAT FACT I'M TIED UP AS HARD AS YOU!? AT LEAST CLEAR YOUR MIND OF THE COBWEBS AND THINK STRAIGHT! I'M NOT INTO THAT KIND OF PLAY!"

The Magician of Faith finally got her bearings after all that happened and seemed to come to a conclusion of the events that had happened so far. She scowled at the boy.

"I'll cut it off. Take responsibility of my maidenly loses and let me gut your jewels out!"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING OF THE SORT—NUWOOOOH!"

"GUWOOOOOOh!"

The two yellers felt this strange sensation riding up their stomach. It was the feeling you get whenever the car you are in makes a hard turn to either direction. By the law of physics, everything inside of the moving object would be affected by the energy enforced on that object. All the contents inside a box, would feel the weight of the turn forcing them to roll in the opposite direction of where the turn was heading. If the car went right, bodies would swing left. If the car swerved left, the bodies flip right. So now imagine a pair of coconuts tied to the horn of a raging rhino. What happens.

"GYAAAAAG! GYAAAAAG! GYAAAAG! TH-THE WORLD IS SPINNING TOO FAST FOR ME!"

"D-DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT ABOUT RIGHT NOW, WE GOT MORE PRESSING MATTERS TO DEAL WITH!"

Jack O'Donnell did his best to keep his breakfast, lunch, and dinner inside of his gut. However, it was next to impossible when he was subjected to the ghetto version of NASA"s specialized centrifugal force training program. If professional Astronauts had trouble adapting, how would this highschool student fare any better. The only way he could try to keep himself from flipping around unnecessarily, was to use his free legs to grab onto some ledges in the Barrel Dragon's armor.

"Look Fifi, I hate to say this but I'm counting on you. Puppy girl looks like she's about to blow another gasket _(WOH!);_ Sadako is having a hair problem _(O-oh my god, th-the roots are tearing!)_ ; and Alice… I can't reach her _(Nnngg! Nnnnnngghmmm~~~!)_. So…I need you, like right now."

"…,…,…,…No. I'm not going to bear your children even if it's your last moment right now."

"NOT **THAT** 'NEED YOU', STUPID BRAT!"

The petite Magician of Faith cursed under her breath, with a word that no girl would ever say even in her rebellious phase. Having her body tied up in a makeshift cocoon, there was nothing she could do. Except—

"…Tch. Wh-where did I put that item!?"

"…Fifi. Wh-why are you reaching down to the center of your hips all of a sudden?"

"That's my pocket I'm reaching for you *sshole!"

"...,..."

"A **REAL** POCKET WHERE PEOPLE LOSE THEIR KEYS IN, YOU PERVERTED JACK*SS!"

Fifi hand crawled its way into the tight narrow space between the cocoon and her body. As this wasn't a regular binding and more like a shell, she could suck in her stomach or exhale deeply to shrink her body mass inside the tight space. With the extra breathing room behind the shell, she could move her arms and feet to try and grab something out of of her pockets.

"There. Extend!"

The side of Fifi's cocoon bulged, before it ripped open like a—

"HOLY SH*T! THERE'S NO WHERE IN YOUR CARD TEXT THAT SAY YOU CAN SUMMON AN ALIEN FROM YOUR *SS!"

"THAT'S MY MOON SCEPTER YOU GOD-D*MN IDIOT!"

Fifi snapped her teeth in annoyance as she looked down to the side of her cocoon. Torn through it was her magical staff with a crescent moon on the end. It was sharp, and curved, so it made for a makeshift moon-spear or even a scimitar that could cut through the unnatural webbing. However, given the lack of space with her arms, and peeking out from a narrow opening, she couldn't use it to cut herself open.

The staff was still a staff. The entire body wasn't a double edges blade like a longsword. So even if she could turn around inside the cocoon with some fidgeting, the pole-arm of her weapon was too dull to cut through. Thus only her staff poked out like a sore thumb to the side.

"..Wait. I have an idea Fifi. I just need you to swing at me."

"What? Wait, I-I can't do that, I-I'll cut you in two!"

"…You seem to have no problem in wanting to strangle me a few minutes ago?"

"S-strangling you is different! I-I can essentially beat the cr*p out of you until you're near dead! But if I use my scepter to cut you, I'll be committing manslaughter! I don't want that! I don't want to go to prison because you asked me to help you in a messed up suicide!"

"You're pathetic. Do you know how useless you are. You may be the weakest monster I have at hand right now, but I've never gave up on you from my deck. Now, everyone else is stuck and can't help us and I'm literally pseudo-grovelling for you to get us out. Yet look at you, you sicken me, Fifi!"

"….Nice try. But Psychological Prompting like that is beyond me. In fact, your lousy attempt just p*sses me off."

"Sh*t."

Jack O'Donnell clicked his tongue. The Magician of faith saw through his ruse and rough words with a deadpan stare. And he worked very hard to find the right key phrases to provoke the foul-mouthed Magician of Faith to try and swing her scepter at him, to cut through his bindings. Looks like he'll just have to resort to Plan B. To be honest, he didn't want to use this trump card, ever.

"…Fifi. I'm sorry. I took your first."

"I'LL F**KING GUT YOU, YOU MAN WHOOOO OOOOOO OOOOOO OOOO OORE!"

"NUWOOOH! TH-THAT REACTION IS MORE DANGEROUS THAN I EXPECTED!"

The Magician of Faith was enraged. Hearing those simple words was enough to put her into a state of mind that would scare lions, tigers, and rhinos from her path. In a pure tempered fit, she thrashed inside of her cocoon, arms and legs punching the insides. It failed to burst open, but it was enough to make her start to swing back and forth. The with one blood-curdling scream, she swung herself up hard enough to try and ram her spear directly into the young man. Particularly, the weakest points in his body.

"S-SON OF A B******** ******** ********* ******TCH!"

… ** _*Snap*_**

The sound of something soft could be heard being cut open, like scissors to a flap of fresh meat.

"HOLY SH*T, IT WORKED!"

Jack O'Donnell was free. He was able to duck his body deep enough so only the sharp edge of the moon-scepter sliced up through his web bindings. It left a deep enough cut to snap through everything, releasing him.

"UWOOOH!"

Only he failed to have a back up plan the second gravity grabbed him by the waist and threw his body down to the racing streets below him. Falling off of a raging truck without even a safety harness was a bad idea.

"Fifi, hang on!"

"NO! NO! I-I'M SORRY FOR TRYING TO RUN YOU WITH MY STAFF! P-PLEASE DON'T MOLEST MEEEE!"

Fifi clenched her eyes. All the fire in her disappeared when she missed the killing blow. Now that Jack O'Donnell flung himself at her and hugged onto her cocoon, she prepared her body for the worse punishment possible.

… Only for them to suddenly flip backwards and over the rear flank of the Barrel Dragon.

"Give me that!"

"Aaah! M-my hands are burning!"

Fifi let out an unnecessary yelp when she felt her staff get ripped out of her palms (#IndianRopeBurnHurts). Jack O'Donnell grasped onto the only weapon he had, and used the crescent moon to cut the wire that anchored the Magician of Faith's Cocoon.

 **Snap**. The wire was cut, and they were left to tumble across the broad deck that was the Barrel Dragon's spine. With a bounce, clutter, and painful noises, they finally rolled over with a _'squeee'_ sound.

"…F**k."

"F**k."

The two foul mouthed hero and heroine shared their sympathy with each other for once. By the time Jack O'Donnell was able to recover, he picked himself up and dragged the moon scepter behind him. His target was on the person who tried to stab him with the same weapon. Fifi looked up at the shadow of her new attacker, his sharp weapon in his grasp. Somehow, she felt super vulnerable.

"… E…even if you took my first… p-please be gentle with me again."

"I lied."

"…Heh?"

Then Fifi was stabbed. The hook of her crescent moon plunged into her chest, making a squelching sound. With a drag, it cut her open from the collar bone and down to her pelvic area… And the cocoon slumped to crack open to free her petite body, undamaged.

"…What?"

"Sorry. Regular Psychological tactics had no effect on you. To make this plan of my successful, I had to lie in order to get your attention."

"…So… m…my chastity."

"I didn't take it."

"…,…,…,…,…,…,…"

"…Fifi. I thought you would be happy to now I didn't do anything… So why do you have this look of disappointment."

"I don't know. My feelings are really conflicted right now. Could you give me a minute before I figure out my answer and punch you later?"

"…Sure. Take your time."

While letting Fifi prepare her body and mind to provide a better answer, Jack O'Donnell took this moment to quickly haul up the net that had the Command Knight, Silent Magician Lv. 4, and Dark Magician Girl onto the deck of the Barrel Dragon. Like with Fifi, he used her staff's ornamental headpiece to cut through their bindings.

"Woooh! Woo-wooo! Woffuu!"  
 _(Took you long enough, human! You're too slow!)_

"Uuuuh. Uuuh. M-my hair still hurts. I-I don't want any bald patches! Uuuuh!"

"Pant Pant Pant…M-Master… M-my body feels so hot~… p-please, d-do bad things to me so-so I can calm down. I-I don't mind if you—"

"Nein."

"Wh-why is Master so cold all of a sudden!? Y-you were making me so happy in my dreams, so how come the real you is this cruel!"

"Because dreams disappoint! Now everyone get your act together! We have to stop this monstrosity from trashing my city any further! Not to mention, it wrecked my house. I want full compensation for my loses, and I don't care if this thing is a Duel Monster. I'll sell it's metal skin for scrap if I have to!"

Jack O'Donnell let out a sigh, seeing all of the Card Girls he had coming back to their senses. He didn't know what to do with Command Knight who looked like she needed to use the bathroom – again. Silent Magician was sniffing back her tears and pulled up her scepter, hoping to be useful this time.

All the while, he was fighting off the rampage in heat that was Dark Magician Girl.

"Please, maybe a tight hug! S hard that it would make me feel like my body is breaking~. M-maybe even a small peck on the cheek! I-I can't calm down. M-my body is on full overload an-and there is no way for me to cool off!"

"Alice! No! This is a crisis, not a love scene in a messed up action movie! W-we don't have the luxury to do obscene things on the back of a moving mecha monster! I seriously don't see how towers collapsing and people screaming for their lives wouldn't affect the mood! Snap out of it! And where the h*ll is the b*tch who started this mess!?"

… Oh right. This sudden plot twist was all started when a certain sadistic spider woman interrupted Jack O'Donnell slice-of- life. She was the one responsible for entrapping everyone in her webbings so she could use them as dolls to play house and… well… B*rbie and K*n dolls (even if the subjects were both girls).

Where did she go? Did she seriously ran away from her responsibilities to leave an open ending? The answer — was hanging from the horn of the Barrel Dragon.

"….H…help me..cough"

"You got to be kidding me."

Jirai Gumo, the monster with 2200 ATK and 100 DEF currently portrayed as a half woman half spider with a loose fitted kimono, could be seen hanging from her own spider web from the head of the mecha Duel Monster that was running across the city. It seemed when Barrel Dragon crashed into Jack O'Donnell's house, her own webbing got wrapped around her neck and pulled.

So she was left dangling, her half-lifeless body making strange rasping sounds. No, she didn't see the error of her ways and tried to take her own life.

"…Guweeeeeh."

"Oh for f**k sakes."

And so the adventure of Duel Monsters in our reality, continues.

...,...,...

 _ **[=,= DUEL START! =,=]**_


	80. --VOL2 - FANFARES

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata  
_**

 ** _...,...,..._**

 **=,=,= *STARTING VOLUME 2 NOW!* =,=,=**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **VOL.2  
=02=**

 _ **'FORCE OR FANFARE'**_

* * *

 **{Dark Magician Girl's Diary}**

 _ **I love Master. People would think I'm crazy, a slut, or even an insane masochistic yandere. I don't really care what people call me. I know my heart's answer when I hear it. Ever since Master first collected me from a dark and lonely pack, the moment when I felt his warm thumb press into my face, I couldn't resist the urge but to thank him. Anyone could have brought me out of that small and cramped foil package, any child would do. But to truly make me feel I was not alone, and to give me courage to face all kind of terrible monsters on the battlefield, only my Master could give me that sweet warmth I longed for. So I swore to myself, I will serve him in battle, in life, and in marriage... Alas, I'm just a card. I can't fulfill wish number three...**_

* * *

"Master, stop sucking on her face and let her meet her maker!"

"Alice, this isn't the time to be arguing. Keep her eight feet up to let the blood circulate back to her brain. She may be our enemy, but we need her in order to stop the Barrel Dragon from trashing my city!"

The said monster continued to charge through the streets. It was getting tired, but due to the over-stimulation of city lights, car sounds, and people yelling 'monster this' and 'monster that', it's mechanical adrenaline was working overtime. There was no way for anyone to ask it to just up and stop. Jack O'Donnell was trying to come up with a plan. But in order for that plan to be successful, there was a vital piece in the structure that he had to recover.

Jirai Gumo, the spider woman how nearly strangled herself with her own webbing. She had passed out, her eyes rolled up, and her tongue hanging out _(no, she wasn't pleased about it)_. Her breathing was shallow and her lungs were barely moving to try and get proper oxygen flow. So the young man had no choice, but to use the skills he learned in First Aid Class. The good old mouth to mouth.

"Master. Let's switch. I'll take over and save this spider-whore in your stead."

"No. Your method is too violent. Jumping up and down on her lungs isn't going to revive her. It will kill her."

"At least my technique is more hygienic than sucking her face off. She could just be faking unconsciousness so she could rape your tongue!"

"A-Alice, d-don't just up and say weird things... H-Holy sh*t! I-I think her tongue actually moved to invite me! I-I can't work under these conditions!"

"...I'll gut her. Move aside so I can gut her with Black Burning!"

"Nuwoooh! P-Puppy! Fifi, lock her down!"

Jack O'Donnell tried to keep his head clear as he continued his attempt with CPR on the spider woman. The last thing he wanted was someone to interrupt this delicate procedure, so he had no choice but to have the Command Knight and Magician of Faith to tackle the Dark Magician Girl into the ground to subdue her.

Technically, the Command Knight was strong enough to muscle down someone who had 2000 ATK points, as she was a Warrior Class. The Magician of Faith happened to have been in the way, so she ended up being buried under the two girls. Like a crab pinned under a boulder.

"...God-d*mn it Alice. Now I can't look at this girl without my juvenile fantasies spiraling... Sadako, what do you have?"

"Her pulse is getting steady now, dropping from 100 beats per minute, back to the normal 13 beats per minute. Her blood pressure is around 120 / 90, so I think she is stabilizing but her breathing is still shallow, best not to move her until she wakes up. Also, I took a look and I see no evidence indicating of extreme blunt force trauma to the head. She wouldn't have a concussion, but her brain cells could suffer from the lack of oxygen she endured. Other than that, I don't think she'll have any long-term brain damage."

"Well you look at that. My son, the doctor."

"I-it's thanks to Mr. Zombie offering me his medical textbooks. The human anatomy and physiology is very interesting. I-I think I'll start on the nursing and medical care chapters... Wait, I-I'm a girl! I-I'm not even your son!"

"It's just a praise for good work, Sadako, so no need to blush over it."

"Th-that's not even my name!"

The Silent Magician Lv. 4 pouted. She had indeed been reading some 'light material' while she stayed with Jack O'Donnell at his house. It seemed he was planning for various careers for his future, but wasn't sure which he felt most suitable until he graduated highschool and attempted his way to enter college. His grades were on a wide scale fluctuation, so whether he had to settle for either Civil Engineering, Bakery, or even Medicine could be affected drastically.

...Since they were collecting dust on the shelf, he thought it would keep Silent Magician out of trouble for a while. Turned out she cleared out the three shelves out of the six in a matter of two hours. At this point, Jack O'Donnell was wondering if his wallet would be in trouble as he had to buy more 'ammunition' from the local bookstore. And they're so ridiculously expensive!

"Oh, Mr. Zombie. She's coming to! She's coming to!"

"Very good. Now, strap her down."

"Heh!? B-but, but, I-I'm not into that kind of shady play. A-also, the Mental Health Act s-states we need two authorized doctors to approve a physical restraints on an aggressive patient. I-I'm not even a doctor to begin with!"

"Just pin her arms and some of her legs down so she doesn't pull a fast one on me."

"Uwa-uwa-uwa. A-am I going to see something forbidden!? Uwa-uwa."

"...Just grab her if she tries to stab me."

Jack O'Donnell swallowed his saliva. Now that he remembered, he had some of the spider woman's saliva on his lips... f**k. With a racing heart that wasn't bounding with fear, he watched as Jirai Gumo opened her two human eyes.

"...Wh...why do my lips taste so sweet?"

"You. Spider. I need your help. This Barrel Dragon isn't going to stop stepping my city. I need your help to calm it down, especially with your we-"

"Did you... rescue me?"

"Yes. Now listen and—GUWOOOH!"

"MEAP!"

Silent Magician Lv. 4 did her best to use her entire body mass to grab the Jirai Gumo who lunged at Jack O'Donnell. It was useless. It was like tossing a Canadian penny at a Ram pick-up truck that ran at 120 km/hr, just to stop it. Of course her tiny body would bounce, leaving the said pick-up truck to charge right at the young man. This was going to be messy.

"...M-miss. H-hu-hu. I-I know I-I said some things th-that no-no lady sh-should hear, b-but y-you don't have to go all B-black Widow and try to eat me r-right? I-I'm not a man spider to-to begin with. H-hu-hu. S-surely th-there is room for ne-negotiations. Y-Yes!?"

"...Pant Pant~."

"M-Miss Spider. Why-why are you breathing so heavily?"

"I-I've never felt anything like this before. Th-the sweetness of honey and saffron... Pant... Wh-why does the taste you left on my lips, feel more intoxicating than red wine~."

"...Oh sh*t."

A certain young man tried to run away, even pull a maneuver that only U.S. Marines would use to subdue the enemy. However, with eight different legs wrapped around his body and a pair of hungry arms over his shoulder, this body lock from a half-woman was next to impossible to break out of.

"Tell me, little boy, wh-what is you name?"

"J-John Smith! John Smith!"

"John... Do it again. Do what you did to my lips. I-I want to taste you again~~."

"Nuwooooh! W-wait. I lied! I-it's Johann Schmidt! Johann Schmidt!"

"And after we taste each other... can you... show me... your... snake again?"

"OOOOOOOOOOH! NO! S-STOP RIPPING AT MY SHIRT! I-I'M NOT AN ACTOR, I-I CAN'T KISS RANDOM GIRLS I MEET ON SET AND WALK AWAY UNSCATHED! I-I'M NOT THAT PROFESSIONAL! HELP! SADAKO! SADAKOOOO!"

"...Guweeeeh."

"Don't just roll over like a unconscious hamster! Help meeeee!"

Jack O'Donnell was finished. With Jirai Gumo swarming all over his body, pinning him down with her anthropomorphic body there was no here to run or to hide. Essentially, the Spider woman was using her large part to sit on him, to make sure he couldn't escape for what was about to happen. She trailed a finger over his lips, before stroking it over hers. It was like she wanted to paint them in his color. She was definitely going to thoroughly devour the young man.

"...Darling... Do me. Very hard~~."

 _ ***SMACK***_

Until a certain Dark Magician Girl delivered a beautiful drop kick to the spider woman's face.

"DON'T CALL MASTER _'DARLING'_ YOU EIGHT-LEGGED B*TCH! THAT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY!"

10 points.


	81. --VOL2 - RUSH AND GAMBLE

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata  
_**

 ** _...,...,..._**

 **=,=,= *STARTING VOLUME 2 NOW!* =,=,=**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **VOL.2  
=03=**

 _ **'RUSH AND GAMBLE'**_

* * *

 **{Jirai Gumo's Diary}**

 _ **The human world is scary. No one looks normal, not from my perspective. Men and woman have these long arms and long legs that were covered in neither fur nor iron carapace. None of them even dressed like the denizens of my world. I can't even recognize what monster type they are. There was just no way those thin suits and dresses could defend against an attack by even a Hinotama or Baby Dragon. They're just too weird. But what really makes them scary... is how close they could be to each other. The way they hold one another's hands, how they could walk side by side in such intimate proximity, without starting a conflict. And the odd ritual of touching each other with their lips... It's just too much for me... I wonder if it feels nice, with what they're doing with those lips of theirs... How would it feel, if I tried it?**_

* * *

"So let me see if I heard you properly... You want to f**k a dragon?"

"NO! I SAID, WE NEED YOU TO USE YOUR WEBS TO _**TIE UP**_ THE BARREL DRAGON!?"

"...Donate a Fairy Organ? I confess that I'm sadistic, but that kind of thing is beyond my standards!"

"NO! I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE A CONCUSSION, LISTEN TO ME PROPERLY!"

Jirai Gumo tilted her head. She had long black hair which was wildly frayed from the previous battle. Her body ached all over as the oxygen she once lost was finally recirculating back into her blood stream. She wasn't at all used to having this human upper torso, it was so clumsy. Not to mention the pair of large bulbs on her chest were pure deadweight, she constantly had to adjust her mass just to swing around properly.

She also wasn't used to feeling her face throbbing with a dull pain from the kick she received to her head. If she had a mirror, she would ask who the was ugly woman in the reflection with a swelling head and foot-print on over her one eye. So best not to show her anything as of yet. Also, her ears were ringing, so whatever Jack O'Donnell was shouting at her, she can't seem to understand him properly.

"... Sorry. I really don't care about doing it with other monsters, but honestly I'm not into a group session."

"Hey Sadako. I can hit her right? I can hit this spider even when she genuinely can't understand a word I'm saying. I'm in the right, yes? Yes!?"

Jack O'Donnel buried his face into his hands, drawing confusion from the Spider woman. The idea he had was to use her webs to create a long enough capture net to stop this machine monster from running amock. If this continues, the Barrel Dragon would soon reach the city limits and barrel out of town. At this rate, the party would end up entering into another state or province of the nation they were in, or worse, step over a nuclear power plant.

As much as the world was pursuing a greener reality, it was still a long and drawn out process to truly shut down every nuclear powerplant in the world. There were six more left, but it wasn't getting any faster. This was worst case scenario.

"U-um. Mr. Zombie, try this."

"Sorry, I'm not in the mood to play tic-tac-toe right now."

"N-no. I mean, use this as a communication board. I-I learned in your medical text book some patients with hearing loss could use this to communicate with their care providers."

"...Sadako. I love you."

"Meap! M-my body is feeling weird all of a sudden!"

The Silent Magician girl turned red all over when Jack O'Donnell gave her a great Japanese bow and took the sketchpad from her hands. She had it in her pocket, along with a pen. From learning of the different books, both engineering and medical, she had these strange ideas of making mechanical devices that focus on battling parts of a disease or virus.

But she would have to read into the concept of nanotechnology, so she jotted down her ideas onto a pad first and kept it by herself, even when she slept. She heard that many inventor's greatest creation come from their dreams, so she decided to keep it as a dream journal so to speak.

While she tried to hide how red her face was from th sudden insincere confession, a certain Dark Magician Girl was biting her blond hair.

"...I-I don't understand. Wh-why won't Master say those words to me? I-I'm his loyal Monster card, so-so why doesn't he confess his love and throw me onto his bed!?"

"I think its because you become this slobbering mess if he did try and tell you just the words themselves. You're mind is so messed up, you become too volatile for the wrong reason. A girl relishing in her own deluded pleasure is useless in the middle of a boss battle."

"Says the Level Three who can't do anything but retrieve magic cards from the graveyard! All it takes is one monster to punch you in the face just to flip summon you, so why are you sticking around Master?"

"D-don't hiss at me, you dumb*ss woman! I-it's not like I'm here to be part of some harem ending or something!"

Dark Magician Girl and Magician of Faith bared their fangs. They were allies, yet they already held each other at their mercy with whatever rifle they had. The tension between them was so thick, neither of them paid attention to the Command Knight who was tugging at both of their sleeves. It seems she was trying to tell them something.

"Woh! Woh-Wooooh!"  
 _(L-listen to me! I-I think you need to see this!)_

"Not know, Puppy. This Big Sister has a bone to pick with her junior."

"Just because you're three levels above me, doesn't mean we go to the same high school or cr*p like that. In face, I'm part of the first generation of Duel Monsters that appeared in our original world before you showed up decades later (#BattleCityArc). You should be addressing me as your senior, upperclassmen, or _Senpai_ if you're into that kind of fetish!"

"Woh! Woooh!"  
 _(Please stop fighting you to and pay attention to what I'm trying to say!)_

"Oh, is that so, Miss Level 3. Alright, then look at this, your power level is exactly 1700 lower than my maximum status. Given this fact, wouldn't it be obvious as to who is the Alpha in this Harem!?"

"Ew. I don't want to be anyone's concubine or whatever you're thinking in that messed up mind of yours! It's because I'm thrown into this ridiculous new world that make zero sense where I have no choice but to stick with the larger group just to survive. As you've never been anything lower than Level 5, you have absolute no idea how do Level 1 to 4's feel whenever they're placed first on the front line!"

"Wooooooh! Woooooooooh!"  
 _(God-d*mn it, you two idiots stop bickering over useless things like who has bigger breasts! Th-this is a serious matter you have to pay attention to!)_

"Haaaah! Are you telling me that I don't throw my weigh enough in a duel! I am Master's Key card. No matter what type of deck he makes or what kind of monsters he switches in and out, he would always put my body in his box first! As his valuable Servant, it makes me proud to be of service to him!"

"Are you sure? Maybe the strongest monster he ever had was a 2000 point bimbo like you. He's so down on his luck to draw monster higher than Level 6 that he's stuck with a perverted masochistic yandere like you every time!"

"Why does every call me a Masochistic Yandere!? I'll admit to being Master's one and only servant who gives him full privileged to what he can do with my body in a duel, but I don't understand why people flag me as a Yandere. I don't even have pink hair!"

"Who said you need a hair job, face job, and a brain job to act like a Yandere, when you fulfill all those requirements the moment you were born!"

"Don't make me punch you, you little brat! I'll blow you away!"

"Go blow on something else you Magical Cow!"

"WOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO OOOOOH!"  
 _(You stupid as rock B*tches, stop fighting and listen to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)_

"NYAAAAAAH!"

"GYUGYAAAAH!"

The Command Knight gave a beautiful shriek that would make a wolf break down into shameful tears and cry. It was loud enough to shattered whatever potential World War was about to ignite between the two Spellcasters that were arguing on the level of a global conflict. With their brains rattled from the scream in their ears, the Warrior got their undivided attention.

"Wooh! Woh-wooo-woooooooh! Wofa!"

"...Again. I don't speak dog."

"If a Level 6 cow can't understand you, there is no way I can even imagine what you're trying to say!"

"Wooh! Wofufuu! WOFU!"

"Nyaaah! D-don't pull on my hair!"

"I-it's tearing from my scalp! L-let go! Let go!"

Feeling underappreciated, the Command Knight woman grabbed two lock of hairs in both fists and yanked on Dark Magician Girl and Magician of Faith's heads. It was enough to make them give out a cute squeal and make them look at whatever the Warrior was staring at with a stark expression. The moment the image clicked in their brains, they turned whiter than the clothing on Tethys, the Goddess of Light.

... Meanwhile.

"Spider! Why the h*ll are you responding to my request with Tic-tac-toes. I'm not in the mood to play right now!"

"What the h*ll type of game is that!? It sounds stupid. I'm trying to write to you my formula in support of your plan!"

"No matter what angle I look at, your writing still tells me you're cheating by drawing three Xs in a row! And you haven't even given me a turn to retaliate with a single O!"

Jack O'Donnell was trying to communicate with Jirai Gumo who suffered a concussion for 'some reason'. With Silent Magician's help, the boy was able to write what needs to be expressed and this allowed the confused Spider woman to comprehend what he was saying without misinterpretation due to mental trauma.

"The plan is to use your webs to lock down these critical joints all over the Barrel Dragon. Duel monster or not, it's still a machine, so we can jam it's internal gears and make it stop. We'll hit these targets, the knees, the arm, and the neck, so we can—STOP SCRIBBLING EROTIC IMAGES AND PAY ATTENTION!"

"I-I'm taking down notes! Th-this is important...r-right?"

"Drawing highly detailed stick people in a censored formation is not taking notes in class! Give me that sketchpad!"

"W-wait. I-I haven't draw in the male parts yet! I-it would look strange without a connecting feature for the Gestalt portion of this art!"

In the end, Jack O'Donnell concluded their makeshift battle plan by yanking out the notepad from the Jirai Gumo's grasp. Upon returning it to the rightful owner, Silent Magician broke down into tears.

"Noooo! Th-there's stick people rolling around over my notes on about Killer T Cells and White Blood cells to target parts of the virus gene... Th-they're doing too many adult stuff for me to read my own writing—I-it's ruined! Uh!"

"...Spider woman look what you did. You made my son the doctor cry."

"Aaaaah...S...sorry... I-I got carried away. P-p-please don't cry like that. I-I rather see tears come from a woman writhing in pain and pleasure th-than on the face of a small child! Th-the way you cry like that i-is making me think of a lonely kitten in the rain. I-it hurts my heart!"

"I'm not a kitten! I'm not a boy! My name - is - not - SADAKOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jack O'Donnell frown. There was only once chance to work with this plan of his. As much as he wanted to hold a full military briefing, seeing how chaotic things were and the lack of professionalism among the crew, he took it upon himself to just run with it. This was as reckless as the classic charge in the Battle of Gettysburg, but he hope to use that historical luck to his advantage.

"M-Master! Y-you have to see this!"

"B*stard! T-turn around and look properly!"

"...Please tell me you're still wearing something!"

"NO, WE'RE GOING TO CRASH INTO A MOUNTAIN!"

"YES, WE'RE GOING TO CRASH INTO A MOUNTAIN!"

"...Huh?"

The young man didn't understand Maybe it was the whipping of the wind or something. What they said seemed too dangerous to be true. Also, he was in a city, there shouldn't be any mountains, not one bit...

However, when he turned, he could see what looked like a large tunnel that allowed a wide highway to snake through the belly of a silent mountain. The passage was wide enough to allow six lanes of cars to come and go as it pleased. If air liners were daring, they could fit a plane with a wide wing span inside, so they could write their name on the Guinness World Record book (#StupidlyExpensive). The issue was how high it was. At most, it would allow the passage of a 100 ton cargo freighter. They are about 15 meter height.

Jack O'Donnell didn't need to measure and he knew the rampaging Barrel Dragon already exceed that limit. So the second it would try and squeeze into the mountain tunnel, the mechanized beast would be grinding most of its spine and cannons through the gut of the mountain. If that was the case, it would be cutting up the support of the bridge across the internal ceilings. Then it would cause serious damage on the roads, and force the entire mountain to collapse like a sink hole.

"...Sh*t."

Whatever plan he had, it had to be now.

Feel free to place your bets as to see who is faster (#JacksBrain_VS_BarrelDragonSpeed)


	82. --VOL2 - ONE METER, 10 CM

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **VOL.2  
=04=**

 _ **'1 METER, 10 CM'**_

* * *

 **{Magician of Faith's Diary}**

 _ **I never liked men. It's not to say I'm into women. But ever since I first woke up in this strange new world, where nothing is the same as the reality ruled by us Duel Monsters, my first experience was with a man. A young boy, with weird glasses and bed hair. I never knew who he was, but he was kind. He took care of me and gave me a shelter. At first, I honestly thought that the denizens of the alternate world could be trusted. They didn't see us Duel Monsters as bizarre beasts that had to be put down. Alas, if only I wasn't that naive. I never understood why he would touch my shoulder, my back, or try to invite me to sleep in his room with him. I didn't know the human culture of custom behind his advances, but my new body kept telling me submitting to his offers would be dangerous. I think I realized what a fight or flight response had been. I could have fought him, but I ended up fleeing. Good choice on my part, because the second I bolted out the front door - he and his five friends crawling out of closets and closed rooms chased after me... I truly hate human men...  
**_

* * *

"...This plan is stupid and it will never work."

"Fifi. If you happen to have a M1 Abrams Tank stored somewhere in your magical pocket space, now would be a good time to pull it out and use it with the fury of the US Marine Corp. Otherwise, please keep your trap shut and follow the plan through."

The Magician of Faith scowled. She had three major reasons why she was doing so. One, she was standing next to the person she calls a Jack*ss - Jack O'Donnell. Two, she had her waist tied with a thick strand of web that anchored her to some parts of the iron deck that was the machine monster's spine. Three, she didn't like heights but wasn't a wuss to break down and cry like a bunny.

Adding all three ingredients in the mixture ight now, only served to fuel her bitterness for the young man who was waving his hands to relay instructions like an officer on a flight deck.

"Alice, you go for the right arm. Sadako, you take the left. Puppy and I will go for the legs. Fifi, you got the easy part, so take out the eyes."

"If your wire somehow miraculously snap, is it alright if I jump off and go home."

"No. You will be court-martialed by Alice when this is over."

"Won't she be busy mourning over the red stain on the ground that used to be your body."

"...Cough. Sadako. If this girl abandons her duty, you have permission to slap her."

"As if the little runt has the necessary power to take me on. I'm a grown woman compared to her!"

"She also has 1000 ATK points."

"F**K!"

Jack O'Donnell ignored the foul-mouth Magician of Faith muttering under her breath. He kept a close eye on her in case she decided at the last minute to rip off the webbing from her waist and jump ship. If that were the case, then there was nothing he could do.

The time to begin the counterattack was drawing close, like the synchronization of a several SWAT Teams ready to breach a room full of heavily arms suspects. Should Fifi decide to abandon the mission, he had to let her go. There was no need for her behavior to jeopardize everyone else who was preparing to take on this iron monstrosity.

"...Sadako. Alice. Puppy. Are you all ready?"

"Y-yes, Mr. Zombie!"

"Of course Master. Leave the fight to me."

"...Woh! Wo-wooo!"  
( _Yes, I am!)_

"...Fifi."

"F**k it. I'll gouge this sucker's eyes out."

The boy took in a deep breath.

The Barrel Dragon was running at a pace that could essentially out run the maximum speed of a police cruiser. With every earth-shaking step, it crushed and tore open the asphalt that was the highway. The distance between its current location and to the face of the tunnel in the mountain was approximately 1000 meters, 1 km. It was quite a ways to go on foot, and may take at about at most an hour to cross the span if driving a family van at a specified speed limit. However, once you involved something as large as a 25 meter tall Barrel Dragon that was running away like a scared horse, final time frame to reach the mountain would be about 20 seconds.

Jack O'Donnell and his crew only had less than 20 seconds to stop this monstrosity. So how was it going to be done?

"...Spider woman! All set! Prepare to cast off!"

"Just in time. I've finished making the necessary weapons. Use them to your hearts delight."

"...Eeeeew... M-Master. Th-this is sticky."

"I know. My nerves are shaking just from gripping it in my palms... Endure, Alice. We'll all get showers when this is over."

"H-how rude! My webbing is 100% natural with no artificial cr*p like you humans put in your cereal! I've specifically designed this batch to your request. Be-be grateful for my hard efforts!"

The Jirai Gumo spider woman gnashed her teeth together when she received more than negative comments about her creations. Working with Jack O'Donnell, the two had came up with a form of web like weapon to stop the machine monster. It came in the form of a long needle, almost like a sword only without the hilt. It was highly compacted with threading, and one touch with a finger seemed to stretch the sticky silk like melted cheese... oops.

"... I've lost all appetite for pizza now. I don't think I can recover until next month."

"Y-you're all so mean!"

The spider woman ended up crying, or at least biting her lips to look like she was crying behind a tantrum. In the end, she swallowed her grief and her bitterness down her throat, so she could grip onto a series of long rope like silk threads as if they were anchors of a safety harness.

"Sadako!"

"Y-yes, sir! Ey!"

Little Silent Magician Level 4 had prepared a spell. All she had to do was wave her hand and it will launch. As she was only 1000 ATK, there was no way she could defeat the Barrel Dragon with a single toss of her magic. But it was enough to allow her to launch a flowing projectile into the air. It sparkled, it rose higher, and then - it popped. Like a flare.

"COMMENCE ATTACK! GO! GO! GO!"

"Here we gooooooo, Masteeeeeeeeer!"

"S-so scaryyyyyyy!"

"Wooooooh!"

"This is too messed uuuuuuuuuuup!"

One by one, the human boy and the four Duel Monster girls bolted down the deck. They followed the trail of lines and metal frames across the Barrel Dragon's spine, before they reached the end. They were going to fall.

Only to kick off the ledge and jump off into the air. With the thread wound around their waist, and the two needle like web-blades in their hands, it looked like they were special soldiers leaping off the walls to fight a horde of tall enemies. Giants possibly?

"SPIDER WOMAN! NOW!"

"MY NAME IS JIRAI GUMOOOOOO!"

The spider woman Duel Monster stomped her eight legs into the deck, piercing their tips through. She used her body as an anchor the second she felt the four different wires stretch taught in her hand. She yanked at them, like reigning in a pack of horses. And the human with his four Duel Monsters started to swing around the side of the machine creature... or rather, 'fly' around.

"Puppy, get the ankles and wrap them around together!"

"Woh Woh!"  
 _(Roger! Gung-ho!)_

Jack O'Donnell braced himself as he felt the wire on his waist tighten. He used his momentum to sweep down and towards the right leg of the Barrel Dragon. Bringing up the web sticks, he swung out at them across the gear joints as if wanting to cut out a 1 meter tall and 10 inch wide portion of the leg.

Instead of cutting it, the webbing caught itself across the metal surface, and it stretched into a growing set of rock-hard silk cables.

"Uwoooh! The left! The left! Swing your legs and body to the left!"

"Wo-ooooh! (OxO)!"

Command Knight did the same and touched the left knee with her web needles, creating a long rope on her side. That was when she noticed she was going to run into the boy, so she listened to his advice and heaved her body hard. She ended up flipping 90 degree and she swung right past Jack O'Donnell. Note, she wasn't in full armor, neither was she wearing anything... full. It was just a man's t-shirt she was wearing. So when she flew past him..

"..."

Jack O'Donnell saw something he should have never seen (until his honeymoon).. He turned more white than red.

"...I see nothing. I know nothing. I didn't wake up this morning."

Once they parted ways, leaving the Command Knight to struggle to upright herself, Jack O'Donnell could be seen attacking the left leg, wrapping the silk wire around with his blades, all the while muttering a Buddhist sutra of involving purity of heart.

"Gichuu! I-I don't know why, but I feel like Master is having an affair behind my back!"

"P-please, Miss Alice. You have to focus! I've already tied up the left arm, you need to connect it with the wires on the right."

"Yes, yes, yes... When this is over, I want to cuddle with Master in his bed."

"D-don't say something so bold at a time like this! I-I'll misunderstand!"

Dark Magician Girl sighed, before she locked the focus in her eyes. She dipped her body forward to use the inertia of her swing to move faster, reducing wind resistance and drag. With a flip, she was able to deliver a quick slash across the Barrel Dragon's arms. With a spin and pirouette that would make an aspiring ballerina cry in admiration, she was able to swipe across the left arm and then wrap the webbing together with the ones on the right.

"It's slowing down, but not enough. Sadako! Pick up the pace!"

"Uwaaaa! I-I'm still not used to this swinging technique."

"It's easy. It's all in the way you move your hips! Your hips! As a woman, you should be skillful in swaying your body around enough to make your lover happy, no?"

"I-I'm sorry, I-I don't understand one biiiiiiit!"

Silent Magician Lv. 4 tried, but she was too small. Her center of gravity always changed with the way she opened and closed her body, and due to her lack of balance it made it more difficult to properly use every ounce of Newtonian force to swing around cleanly. She could only hit the left arm which she was swinging back and forth like a weak pendulum.

To have her fly over to the other side was like jumping one block corner to the other block corner. Her short legs can't make the jump.

"Sigh. I guess I have no choice."

"H-heh? Wh-why are you grabbing my robe...Ah. Wait!"

"SADAKO IN THE QUARTER POCKET!"

"UGYAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Dark Magician Girl was beautiful as she was viol—Aggressive. Cough. She picked up her comrade by the scruff of her robe, reeled her back and kicked up her leg the same way a baseball pitcher would, and just tossed. It was enough to launch a screaming Silent Magician Lv. 4 over to the other arm, clearing the block to block jump.

"That's it. Use your hips. Stretch your legs as if you want to entice your man! Then buck your head back to show how happy you are then...Hey, where'd she go—GUGYAAAGBGUFFFU!"

"BAFFKFFFYYYUUU!"

The two girl made a weird noise. No it was not an innuendo. Rather, Dark Magician Alice swung Silent Magician so hard, she not only missed the right arm of the Barrel Dragon, she flew completely up and around the back of the creature, earning a shocked and confuse yelp from a certain Spider woman, and flung her way over to the other side.

Centrifugal force. And the kinetic energy of her round-the-world flight was stopped, when their heads collided into each other like Newton's Cradle.

"Guweeeeeh"

"Gyaagyaaagyaaaa."

And so, Dark Magician Girl and Silent Magician could be seen hanging on their line, completely unconscious, swinging to and fro like candy canes on a Christmas tree left out in the breeze. It was a sad sight really.


	83. --VOL2 - THREE IN CHAMBER

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **VOL.2  
=05=**

 _ **'THREE IN THE CHAMBER'**_

* * *

 **{Silent Magician Lv. 4 Diary}**

 _ **This new world us Duel Monster had entered is very scary. However, I can't help but become fascinated by the human's advanced culture and technology. I see people carrying little crystal devices that could sing, talk to them, and even make chirping noises whenever they send this magical message to their friends who are even standing right next to them! I couldn't resist touching what they call a laptop, when I happened to walk into blue garden of these devices on display on their white benches. A nice lady in a blue uniform even introduced me to its basic functions, and it was on sale (I don't know what she meant by that). That's not all. People ride in automobiles that look comfortable inside; they even step onto an iron worm under ground to be transported to one place in the city to another at high speed; a-and there are those who could take a picture of themselves holding a cup of coffee - and everyone in the world can receive it through this Ethereal-Net Space! It's really amazing! And n**_ _ **o one was scared of it all, they even embraced it... I hope that one day, I could understand this new technology and use it as freely as they could...**_

* * *

"Sh*t!"

Jack O'Donnell thought this was going to work with the more webs they could wrap around the moving parts of the Barrel Dragon. It was only a matter of time before they could make it dense enough to jam its gears all together. Right now, the amount they had only slowed it down, buying them a few more seconds, but not enough to make it trip or stop. He thought he could swing around for a few more times, hitting the legs and whatnot to finish the job.

Until a blast of steam hit him the face.

"H-HOOOOOOOT!"

The young boy braced himself as a wave of hot air struck into his body. It was scalding, but due to the force of the ejection it sent him flying away far enough to prevent him from receiving first or second degree burns. He recognized this kind of heat, something he get whenever he worked with heat lamps or engines in a garage in one of his many part-time jobs.

The heat of an engine. A regular car would have an engine that uses combustible gas to fire up the gears and chamber inside. Over time, this would pick up heat. Hence why there is always a tank of water on board to act as a steam release coolant. Every time his chief maintenance partner started up the engine, he would feel this familiar rise in temperature

Like how you stand close to an open stove or campfire, the warmth becoming more intense as you put your hand closer towards the core. It seemed based on his car analogy, the Barrel Dragon was over heating from all this running. It was a Duel Monster, but maybe with a real body that worked on living physics, it didn't realize its every action would cause an equal reactive force. So it was burning up, and it released the heat with a purge of hot air.

This only gave the Barrel Dragon an extra boost in speed. It cut down their operation time by half. In exactly 10 seconds, the Barrel Dragon will hit the mountain. It may run through it and tear up the mountain, causing a massive cave in. Or it will die the second it's head smashes into the face. Either way, the collateral damage wold be too great if either conclusion were left unchecked.

So Jack O'Donnell had no choice but to—

"WOOOOOH! WOOOOOOOOH!"

"O-Oye, Puppy girl! S-stop playing around and get your balance together!"

No good. The Barrel Dragon felt itself overheating, making it panic even more. So it moved around recklessly. It was too big to notice the 'flies' on its back, but the heat racing down its nerves caused it to thrash around as if it wanted to kick off the fire giant from its back.

This caused all operatives in this web swinging counteroffensive to suffer technical difficulty. Their rhythm of swinging is thrown off, and the timing of their pendulum return is altered. They either ended up flying away from their mark by 10 inches, or stopped dead from abrupt counter-balance and ended up hanging uselessly.

As none of them were professional soldiers who spent their days fighting giants with wire and swords all day, none of them could recover in time to reach the time limit. They were going to crash.

"Tch! Abandon ship! There's nothing we can do! Puppy girl, get off!"

"W-woooh! Woooh!"

The moment Jack O'Donnell swung himself over to a dangling Command Knight, he started to try and rip at the wire on her waist. Realizing what he was doing, she protested and grabbed his only she could speak normally, she would have said _'I won't abandon you!'_

"Woooh! Wooh-woooh!"

"Thank you for the last minute love confession. Now get off this thing and make a run for it!"

"WOOOOH!"  
 _(NOOOO!)_

Maybe out of embarrassment or frustrated that she can't speak properly, she punched Jack O'Donnell in the face to pass the message through.

"GUBFFFFF!?"

"...Wo - ah."

The Command Knight made a small sound as if she figured out she used the wrong reaction right now. The punch sent the boy flailing away from her. At the same time, the Barrel Dragon had to leap up and over what looked like a massive traffic jam. Up along the road one of the freight trucks tipped over and people were trying to clear it. But the moment they saw the dragon-shape shadow, they gave up and ran.

The machine just hopped over it all. It was like it didn't want its feet dirtied in a puddle or something. At the same time, the whole movement made Jack O'Donnell swing up, higher than the creature's body.

"G-gaagk! H-his thread! I-I'm slipping!"

Jirai Gumo's body lifted up when the machine jumped, some of her eight feet slipping out from the holes she anchored herself into. She lost her balance and accidentally loosened her grip. She let go of Jack O'Donnell's thread.

"...Sh...sh*t."

This made him fluttered over after a deep swing forward... and it somehow made him hover right in front of the Barrel Dragon's face.

It wasn't clear if it was hungry or even had a primal desire to eat flesh... but it had its maw open, and it was still running forward. With no other assist from the Laws of Physics, Jack O'Donnell drifted towards its open mouth.

"...Sorry Alice... I messed up."

Feeling that there was no way out of this bad end, Jack O'Donnell had no choice... but to lift up his hand and touch the deck on the table in surren—

"IRYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

A blur dropped down from the sky, attached to a thick strand of web. It suddenly coiled around the Barrel Dragon's maw, clouding it with a series of sticky wires that floated around it. With a shout and a tug, the sticky wires grabbed the open jaw of the machine and tied it shut. Like the muzzle guard of a dog.

"...F...Fifi!?"

"D*mn it. You're asking the wrong girl to hit this Level 7 monster in the eyes! I hate to say this, but I'm leaving the rest to you - MAGICAL COW!"

"GET AWAY FROM MY MASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

Jack O'Donnell looked up. High above the air, he could see a slender frame flying down onto the Barrel Dragon. With the grace of a F-22 Raptor in a bombing dive, the ferocity of a she-lion, and the rage of a woman scorned wrapped in one blue and pink robe—

—Dark Magician Girl tore off the web needles from her hands to produce her magical staff. The sceptre with a spiraling shell. A blazing fire of purple and black erupted all over the head and it created a condense ball of magical black light.

"BLACK - BURNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIING!"

The Level 6 Spellcaster charged up her killing blow and tossed it down below her feet. It zipped from the lunging of her wand and all the way to touch the tip of the Barrel Dragon's exploded.

Dark Magician Girl's ATK was 2000. Barrel Dragon ATK was 2600. The level power was greater, unbalanced even. So it was impossible for a Level 6 monster to even hurt a Level 7 under these conditions. However, if you throw in the hundreds of thick webs that wrapped around its legs, arm, and jaw, the second it faltered the gears got snagged by the wires and it jammed.

The entire Duel Monster ended up tripping over and smashing its nose into the ground, grinding across the highway. As it was running too fast, it couldn't stop from a simple fall. It kept plowing through the roads, sweeping aside abandoned vehicles. It kept inching closer and closer to the mountain tunnel... but the second it's bent nose fell shy from the opening by the span of a hand... it fell still and silent.

"...Holy sh*t. It worked."

Jack O'Donnell blinked. He wasn't sure if the sky he was staring was the one he normally saw from Earth,or another space above heaven. His body was light, his head was fuzzy, and his eyes were trying to focus.

What truly woke him up, was this odd and sweet sensation on his lips.

"...MMMMM!?"

"Chuuuuuuuuu— _*_ _Pop*_! Puwaaaah! Pant Pant Pant...I-I saved you Master~! I saved you with CPR! Aren't I a good girl!? Pant Pant!"

"You're supposed to breath air **into** the person - not suck it out!"

"But it still felt good, right!? Pant Pant. I-it was enough to revive Master from the brink of 0 HP! A-also, I have your first kiss! That's a bonus for me!"

"A technique developed by a 18th Century Swiss Doctor to resuscitate babies doesn't c-count as a kiss in a love comedy! Never! No! NEIN!"

"Heeeeeeh!? Just when I found an open opportunity to show Master how I felt! Don't tell me it was wasted by a technicality!"

"L-listen. Al-Alice. Th-there is a time and place fo-for stuff like this and this isn't—DUCK!"

"Kyaaaa! Master is pushing me down onto the ground! So happy—NYUWOOOH!?"

Dark Magician Girl gave two cute squeaks. The first one was when Jack O'Donnell suddenly pounced on her to pin her across the ground. The second was when she saw this giant iron tail swing right over their flattened bodies. The tail missed them and plowed into a horde of cars and trucks that were stuck on the highway. The ground started to shake, with the rhythm of a giant trying to stand up to its feet.

The Duel Monster and boy looked to the source, only to see the Barrel Dragon attempting to stand. Even when it was hog tied with the spider webs, it wasn't enough to keep is hydraulics from working overtime. One by one the thick iron-hard fibers began to snap and break. First, the ones around the claws and second the ones around its jaw. Its leg was still tied, as it was triple wound, but there were some fibers already giving way and popping.

There was also another problem. What was Barrel Dragon famous for? The three cannon barrels on its revolver like body of course.

"...M...MASTER RUN!"

"IT'S TOO LATE! TAKE COVER!"

Dark Magician Girl tried to shove her beloved Master to safety in her last moment, but the boy knew it was far too late to save either one. Still, he grabbed the girl by the hand and made a run for it. He hoped either the Barrel Dragon was a bad shot and can't hit anything within a range of 8 meters, or its ballistic round had a smaller damage radius.

Neither of which were true unfortunately.

"Don't be so reckless!"

Jack O'Donnell and Dark magician Girl heard a voice, and something tugging at their waist. It seems the web wire that was still tied to them was yanked, so their bodies flipped back. They ended up tumbling a safe distance away from the reach of the Barrel Dragon's tail, somewhere near the opening a forest off the highway. One second slower, and the ballistic round the Barrel Dragon launched would have shredded them along with the ground that vomited open a large burnt crater.

The boy looked around and realized. The highway had led out of his city. There were no building or such in sigh. The closet source of cityscape was miles away, shining in the distance. It seems this was a route that either reached another art in the state province her was in, that or it was about to enter another part of the country. So far, he could keep the damages to a fair minimum. It's not like anyone would be unhappy if their cars got smashed up. They had insurance right?

"Look alive, boy. We may be enemies, but this is the time where we should join forces in order to preserve our lives."

"...Spider woman. I choose you."

"Th-the f**k! Do I look like some cute monster you could sent out into the frontline and expect total victory! I-I can't run around with this body of mine, let alone there being any buildings for me to swing around quickly! I-I'm too vulnerable on flat open land!"

Jirai Gumo was shaking. Maybe it was the cold and the way her loose Kimono wrapped around her body was going to fall of her soft skin any minute. She gave the webbing another good tug, which reeled in Silent Magician Lv. 4, Magician of Faith, and Command Knight like salmon from a river. Poor Sadako ended up rolling around like a confused baby panda, Fifi landing hard into a pile of trees like a drop kicked hero, with Command Knight rolling onto her heels and bracing herself for another attack.

Even with the machine duel monster trapped in the wrappings, it still had those 30 cm cannons on its head and arms. It was already rotating the chambers to load the next round in its head, while it aligned the other two on its arms. It was like a battleship that ran aground, but it still had turrets to rotate around to defend itself.

With only a Level 3 Magician of Faith, Level 4 Silent Magician, a Level 4 Command Knight, a Level 4 Jirai Gumo, and even a Level 6 Dark Magician girl, it wasn't enough to stop this beast from going into a mode of self-preservation. Like a wounded animal.

"... We're sunk."

"Y-young man, do-don't jinx us! I-I still want to walk away with all my beautiful eight legs so-so don't say something so depressing!"


	84. --VOL2 - COUNTER SPELL

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **VOL.2  
=06=**

 _ **'COUNTER TRAP (spell)'**_

* * *

 **{Jack O'Donnell's Diary}**

 _ **I only wanted to live in peace, so I can study and go to college. But time and time again, the world keeps throwing these weird girls that should only exist in Duel Monsters. How every Card came to life I still can't tell. And I have a bad feeling that I am the main protagonist who has to solve this new problem as it continues to rain down with dangerous boy-hungry monsters... Still, I can't stop smiling. If there really was one card I want to come to life it would be none other than her. The girl I once counted on to bring me victory whenever I'm in a tough pinch. Dark Magician Girl... but, that wish was buried 10 years ago when the 'Adult' world turned on me... Yet, why do I feel so happy every time I see the blush on her cheeks when she stands up to protect me from danger?**_

* * *

"Master! Quick, hide or the Barrel Dragon will hit you!"

"I may be a useless human being with zero combat talent or magical aptitude, but I'm not going to abandon this senseless war to let five girls fight for their lives! Guwooooh!"

A cannon round hit the ground somewhere and the shockwave slapped into Jack O'Donnell. He felt some shattered stone cut into his arm, maybe even a twig stabbing into his shoulder. He pulled it out, already seeing it begin to bleed. Luckily, it wasn't too deep so all he had to do was stop the bleeding.

"O-oh no! M-Master is hurt! H-hang in there! I-I'll think of something...You, spider whore. Give me your belt!"

"Nyaaaaah! M-my obi sash is part of my clothing, not a tourniquet! S-so d-don't spin me around like a toooooop!"

Jack O'Donnell kind of regretted the idea now, after he watched as Alice grabbed the ornamental silk belt on the Jirai Gumo's kimono and pulled, **hard**. It unravelled, and at the same time forced the spider to spin around like a Beybla_er, or Dreidel. By the time she pulled the whole silk sash off to tie off Jack O'Donnell's wounds, the truth was revealed.

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Oh pipe down. Your's aren't as big as mine. As if Master would be interested in looking at your naked spider to begin with!"

"E-even so, th-this new form I've been given is too embarrassing! L-look at how squishy my abdomen is. And these h*llish lumps on my chest that won't stop swinging around! I-it's super cold, Bichuu! S-so please give me back my sash!"

The boy frowned. It wasn't because he couldn't think of an idea to defeat the Barrel Dragon. But it was from the comical bickering of a Dark Magician Girl and a Jirai Gumo playing makeshift tug-o-war with whatever was left of the obi sash that didn't wrap around the boy's arm. He had half the mind to hit them on the head to focus on the matter at hand.

"WOOOOH!"

"Oye, Puppy, don't be reckless! Th-that is a Level 7 Monster, not a cat! Bad girl! Sit!"

"WOOOOOOHFFUU!"  
 _(STOP TREATING ME LIKE A DOG, YOU JACK SS SPELLCASTER!)_

Command Knight picked herself up from behind a boulder she had used for cover from the Barrel Dragon's cannon fire. Seeing her opportunity, she sprung forth and picked up a sturdy looking stick into both hands. Even with a low attack power of 1200, she was still a Warrior by class. Any physical prowess excelled among her kind when it came to real-world application, so using the long thick stick like a lance in a jousting tournament was possible. Despite the obvioua gap in power, she bravely charged forward, keeping an eye on the other cannons that were starting to turn and aim at her.

"WOH-WOOOOOOOH!"  
(EX-CALI—)

Unfortunately, the moment the Command Knight swung the long stick of wood at the Barrel Dragon, its jaws snapped free from the webs and bite onto the stick. Like a dog.

"...W...wooooh."  
 _(Oh f**k me)_

Somehow, the girl was sweating harder than a Rainforest in the Amazon.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!?"  
 _(Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)_

Like a dog, the Barrel Dragon shook its head while gnawing on the stick, as if trying to swing the 'fly' off the corner. With a hard flick, everyone could see the Command Knight being launched up into the air... until her body faded into the deep blue sky...

... Only to come crashing down into a tree stump after 5 minutes of freefall.

"WOFFUFGGFUFUU!"  
 _(# %$ &!)_

"..."

Jack O'Donnell stared... or rather he tried to, but Dark Magician girl covered his eyes. When the t-shirt only Command Knight fell and dove into an empty tree stump, gravity the prankster pulled her shirt 'down' and revealed everything. As he was the only boy, it was obvious that his eyes should be shielded from the forbidden sight.

"D*MN IT PUPPY WOMAN! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A WARRIOR CLASS MONSTER, PUT SOME PANTS ON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! DON'T BE A BAD INFLUENCE ON MY MASTER!"

"...Ah...aah..."

"Sadako! Don't look! Th-this isn't something a child should see.. Fifi! Cover her up with something!"

"Sigh. You, spider, hand me your jacket."

"VER-D*MMIT! THIS IS A KIMONO, AND IT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE LEFT TO FIGHT OFF THE COLD! H-HOW IS IT LOGICAL TO STRIP ME NAKED IN ORDER TO COVER UP THAT RECKLESS WARRIOR GIRL! I-IT MAKE NO SENSE—WAIT, DON'T PULL, DON'T PULL!"

The Silent Magician was speechless as what she was staring at, her eyes not sure if she she look away or check on something for herself in private. The Magician of Faith was playing round two of tug-o-wars with the Jirai Gumo's only remaining armor piece, and it seems the large spider woman was losing pitifully.

"Alice, I can't see if you cover up my eyes."

"No, Master! You shan't look at another naked woman! You should only look at me and my body alone... I'll wear anything you ask of me!"

"Th-that's not it. I can't assess the situation with that Barrel Dragon if you cover up my eyes!"

"A-at least wait until that puppy woman is covered! Gaaah! Master d-don't struggle with me!"

Jack O'Donnell forcefully peeked through Dark Magician Girl's fingers. Their enemy was already rising to their feet. Leg bindings were about to rip open completely. They don't have time to biker. They had to act now and finish this fight!

"Alice, come on! We're do this the old fashion way!"

"M-Master, you don't mean—"

"All Cards prepare to engage the opponent. DUEL!"

"YES MASTER!"

Hearing those words spurred the Level 6 Spellcaster's heart as she leapt forward to stand guard in front of her Master. She prepared her magical wand as Jack O'Donnell pulled something out from his pocket.

"Get ready to attack Alice! Magic Card _Horn of the Unicorn_ , activate!"

Magical light started to gather above the Dark Magician Girl's head. It started to compress and take the shape of what looked like a mystical horn only a legendary horse would have. It was meant to raise the girl's attack power by 700, meaning she would go up from 2000 to 2700—

—However.

"...H-heh? I-it's playing a support card too... Sh*t! I-is that a Quick Play Spell!?"

The fallen Barrel Dragon gave a deep bellow, as if handing out a verbal command. Light appeared over its head, to create a large green tablet that resembled the look of a regular Spell Card. The name of the tablet was engraved in pure white letters.

"...A...Anti-Magic Arrows? Son of a B*tch, that card!?"

"Wh-what's wrong Master? Why are you—LOOK OUT!"

Dark Magician Girl felt something odd and looked up. To her shock, a shower of mystical arrows plummeted from the sky above them as if it began to rain with them. She braced herself, knowing it was impossible to run away from them. But instead of hitting her body, it hit the glowing horn that was about to materialize on her witch helmet. It shattered the power completely.

"W-what? What happened Master?"

"Cr*p. That card prevents me from activating any Spell or Trap card during the turn the Quick Play was used. Meaning I can't increase your power!"

"O-oh no!"

The Barrel Dragon moaned, either in pain or assuring its enemies that they were right. The effects applied to itself as well, but given the fact it had 2600 ATK, it didn't really matter. It will end this fight in one shot!

"Cover! Cover!"

Everyone was forced to leap out of the way. Or else the second and third cannon fire would have shredded them. They accidentally split up into two groups which made them take cover behind a series of fallen logs. It was left behind by a logging company who was done for the day. There was enough to be shipped out of the country to feed other nations, but they thought they could wait for tomorrow morning to ship it all off. Now, half of their hard work turned into smoldering firewood.

"Master, A-are you alright? Let me thoroughly examine your injuries!"

"A-aaahn~. P-please d-don't grab me there. I-it's super sensitive~."

"...HEH!? SADAKO! WHEN DID YOU SWITCH PLACES WITH MASTER!?"

"I-I don't know, b-but please stop squeezing me down theeeeere! Aaahn~"

Dark Magician Girl opened her eyes as her ears calmed down from the ringing of the blast. She realized she was clutching onto Silent Magician's petite body, in places that would make men happy. The Level 6 Spellcaster turned red.

"...Please don't call the police."

"I-I'm not a child! I-I'm a grown woman, but my size is too small! Sob!"

"...Wh-where is Fifi?"

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"

"Oh, I'm sitting on top of you...Meh. At least it will keep you out of trouble."

Magician of Faith had her body buried into the wet dirt. In the rush and chaos, the Dark Magician Girl ended up sitting on top of her body.

"...Wait. Does this mean I've set her face down? DON'T MOVE, FIFI! NOT UNTIL MASTER HAS FOUND THE OPPORTUNITY TO USE YOUR SPECIAL EFFECTS! YOU WILL NOT STAND UP UNTIL HE APPROVES IT!"

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"

...,...,... On the other side by the pile of lumber.

"...Y...you saved my life again...how can I ever repay you. Oh I know... let's continue where we left off with the first time you rescued me. I haven't thanked you properly... Aaaah~."

"WH-WHY THE H*LL ARE YOU STICKING OUT YOUR TONGUE TOWARDS ME, SPIDER WOMAN!?"

Jack O'Donnell regretted he didn't pay attention and grabbed whoever felt like a girl in his arms to run away. He had hoped he grabbed his beloved Dark Magician Girl, but alas it was not the case. Now, he found himself fending off a heavy-weight spider whose top half of a beautiful woman wanted to grope his face some more.

"C-come now, th-there's no need to be so rough~. D-don't all boys want to touch a woman in an intimate manner? W-we could always start slow with what your humans call sliding lips~~."

"H-having my mouth raped by a 10 inch tongue is the last ting I want to remember before I get punched by a 30 cm naval gun! Puppy girl, where the h*ll are you!"

"...Uwoooooooaaaaah."  
 _(Psssssssssssssssssssssssst)_

"..."

"..."

Jack O'Donnell and the Jirai Gumo stopped struggling with each other. What interrupted their argument was the sound of a stream of water being released and hitting the soft dirt. It sounded like a trickle from a faucet at the lowest possible pressure. This sound was an all too familiar if not all to natural sound that was integrated in the DNA of every human being in the world. Natural Call.

"...Oye."

"You... can't be serious."

"...Uwoooh."  
 _(...I'm so terrible.)_

Command Knight felt guilty. She had been holding her bladder for god knows how long, and she knew this was the middle of the battle. But ever since she gained a human body, her internal organs were messed up. It was like her liver was in her lung area, her intestines looping around the wrong places, and her bladder sack being of smaller capacity compared to regular females. She hated it, especially the need to release it. So she just threw caution into the wind, and hid behind a sliced log stump to let it go... Otherwise, she would explode.

"...Woh-woh!"  
 _(*Shiver shiver*...Okay, now I'm ready!)_

"Wash your hands, Puppy!"

"WOH-WOH!"  
 _(DOES IT LOOK LIKE THERE IS A SINK SITTING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS YOU DOLT!?)_


	85. --VOL2 - TOSSING A COIN

**_Yu-Gi-Oh! owned by Kazuki Takahashi and KONAMI_**

 ** _Fan-fiction and characters with * by Emerald Sonata_**

* * *

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duel Monsters):**  
 **Dark Magician Girl, ALICE**

 **VOL.2  
=07=**

 _ **'TOSSING COIN'**_

* * *

 **{Dark Magician Girl's Diary}**

 _ **I believe in Master. Whenever he faces a bad ending, orget himself into a pinch, he always has this ability to turn it around. Most of the time, he loses, but his last minute turn arounds would always make his opponents swallow their saliva in anxiety. It's also the only time where Master would be super serious. He looks really cool whenever he believes he can win his enemy in a single move. I would always forgive Master whenever the opponent's stronger monster destroys me. Is his effort to use every card and tactic at his disposal to protect me is what matters.**_

* * *

"...Hold up... is that a Needle Sunfish in the river...Ah...YOU, SPIDER! GET THAT FISH!"

"THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO HAVING A POTLUCK BARBECUE RIGHT NOW!"

Jirai Gumo clicked her tongue before she quickly darted forward. Using the logs behind her as her shield, she would jump down the hill and towards the river that Jack O'Donnell was pointing to. She reached out her hand and she spat out a thread of web from her mouth. Biting onto the wiring, she would twirl her fingers around and tug on it.

In a blink of an eye, there was this large creature that was yanked out from the heart of the flowing river.

A Duel Monster, called Needle Sunfish. It was supposed to be a seawater fish, but maybe it befriended the local salmon and trout and accidentally followed it while it was returning from the ocean and into freshwater for a spawning run. It jumped like the salmon it was following, before a series of webs grabbed its body.

"Sadako! Is the Barrel Dragon still down!?"

"N-no. I-it's starting to get up! It-it snapped all of the wire and is charging at us!"

"Spider, get ready to fire."

"...With what?"

By the time the Spider Woman asked the question, her answer came with a point of the boy's index finger. At first she thought it was to her groin, which was rude considering she was a spider with a completely different anatomy. Then she remembered the Needle Sunfish that was jumping across dry land like a stranded flounder at her eight feet.

"...HAAAAAAAAAAH!?"

"H-HERE IT COMES! FIRE!"

"YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING MEEEEEE!"

Jirai Gumo grabbed her threads and prepared to throw. That was when she saw the huge Barrel Dragon leaping over the lumber pile and onto them. With how it jumped, it was like a show dog clearing an obstacle. It lacked any finesse or grace, but it made up for its size. It would make even a walrus look good.

"NOW! NOW! NOW!"

"G-GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Throwing the fish out of fear than in self-defense, the Spider Woman swung her wire and launched the Needle Sunfish into the air at the enemy... Only for it to fall short and tumble on the ground. It gave a couple of flops across the dirt, its opercle cover flapping rigorously for water to draw oxygen into its covered gills.

 **And Barrel Dragon's foot stomped on it like a boot to an ant.**

"...H...hurrk...Uuurg...Aau...Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurlll!"

Unable to stomach this sudden act of violence, Jirai Gumo turned away and ended up throwing up. Regardless of the... gore, Jack O'Donnell didn't flinch. There was a light in his eyes that no one else could see, other than himself. His gaze never left the Barrel Dragon, as it gave a mighty roar and stamped that one foot (to erase this icky feeling under its sole).

"HUUURK! UUUUURK!"

"Pipe down, Spider woman. I can't think if you keep wretching your guts out."

"Th-that was too much! Th-that poor creature! I-it only wanted to be free, and-and swim with the fishes! Wh-what did it ever do wrong?"

"No. It's doing something right. By deducting 500 ATK points from the Barrel Dragon."

Needle Sunfish, a Fish class monster with 1500 ATK and 1200 DEF. Not a very strong creature, might not even be suitable to use on the frontlines unless the player has a Water, Mermail, Aquaactress, or Umi style deck play. However, it did have an ability to make up for its lack of power and support. If this card is destroyed by battle and is sent to the graveyard, it reduces the ATK of one face up monster on the opponent side of the field by 500 points.

500 points. Out of 2600, that would be—

"It's at 2100 ATK now. Jirai Gumo, hit it!"

"...Hah?"

Jirai Gumo was a monster with ATK of 2200 and it was still a Level 4. People would think that's cheating, but nothing in her card text ask for any requirement like tributing a monster to attack or paying life points every Standby phase. She was just... there.

"...URYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

So it made sense she would lunge at the large metal monster with all her fury of a hungry wolf spider!

"KYAAA-HAAAA-HAAA! I'VE NEVER PLAYED AROUND WITH MACHINE BEFORE, BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR YOU SQUEAAAAAAL!—Aah-aahn!?"

 ** _*Ping*_**

"Wh-what is that? A f-flare!? Wh-why did it just come out of my belly button!?"

Something flew over Jiaria Gumo's head. It bounced off her skull, shocking her, and it flipped in the air. While it spun, Jack O'Donnell eyed it with a readied gaze.

"...F**k. I forgot about that side effect."

"Wh-what side effect? NuwoooH! I-is it going to make me shoot out a rainbow from my *ss!? I-I don't want it! Cancel! Cancel!"

A monster can't cancel an attack order, nether can the player. The coin flipped for a reason. Jirai Gumo truly did have a restriction with her over powering ATK score. Every time the player declares an attack, they have to flip a coin. Called it right, she gets to attack. Called it wrong - the player loses half of his Life points.

"...Fu...Sh...HEADS!"

The coin bounced off a log on Heads. Jack O'Donnell smiled.

Only for the same coin to finish its landing on tails across the dirt. Jack O'Donnell cried.

"...Son of a b—"

If Player called it wrong, they lose half of their life points.

 ** _*BICHAAAAA!*_**

"...G...gaaaah."

So it made sense as to why several of Jack O'Donnell's blood vessels exploded on half of his body.

"...M...Ma...MASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

Dark Magician Girl paled. The second she saw red splashed off of the boy's body, she tossed aside the Magician of Faith and the Silent Magician from her legs. Even in a battle, she ran out into the open. While the Barrel Dragon was down to 2100 ATK, it was still higher than her 2000 ATK. A lazy shot of its cannon could end her.

She didn't care... she only wanted to reach out and grab her Master's falling body. Painted in the spray of his blood, she tried to dive deep to grab whatever hand or shoulder she could touch... yet.

"Ah!"

Her reach was too short. The boy fell out of her grasp. He fell into the river, and was swept away from her reach.

"...Ah...Aaaaaah..Aaaaa..AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAA AAAAAAH!"

The scream of a heart broken maiden echoed in the forest of god knows where. All the animals that heard it fled in various direction, as if a natural disaster was coming. That... or what was about to happen, frightened them.

"... You... Stupid...Robot...B*stard! I'll...I'll...I'LL F**KING PULVERIZE YOU!"

The Dark Magician Girl turned to face her enemy, who had loaded up a triple shot. Before she could react, it fired a full volley of 30 cm naval shells. The girl simply squeezed onto her magical wand, and launched an attack of her own.

"BLACK BURNING! MAX POWER!"

With all her might, she squeezed out three large ball of black light. They raced forward and intercepted the naval shells from the Barrel Dragon. They each exploded in the air, releasing a huge amount of smoke. At the same time shards of metal flew all over, and some of it cut deep into Dark Magician Girl's leg and arm.

"KYAAAAA!"

It was still 2100 ATK vs 2000 ATK. Fortunately the gap was not too high, or else she would have been obliterated. But that wasn't what she was thinking about right now. She had a more important reason to stay and fight this one-sided war.

"...I'll...I will avenge my Master... EVEN IF I HAVE TO BREAK OFF YOUR LEGS AND DRAG YOU DOWN TO HADES'S DOORSTEP TO MAKE YOU APOLOGIZE!"

And that, is what a Level 6 Spellcaster said to a Level 7 Machine monster.


End file.
